I live with this pain that runs through my body. It is worse in the AM and I am so tired of being tired. My legs are the worse. My legs ache and throb with shooting pains in the calves. I also get a shocking feeling in the bottom of my feet. I awaked to this yesterday morning. I have carpal tunnel and when I flare up it is almost not tolerable. I use a variety of meds to manage this pain but really nothing takes it all away. I dream of the time when I was pain free and how much I enjoyed life. Now I watch through my windows as my life passes me by. With no energy and legs that just don't want to work I am afraid that I will be in a chair by the time I hit 50. I have young children and with I could do so much more with them. I am on disability right now because of depression, pain, anxiety and chronic fatigue. I loved my job and feel that I may never be able to return to it. I can hardily get going in the mornings. It has been this way for about 3 years but now it is worse. When working I was late almost every day. The pain in my legs and the weakness are almost not tolerable. I am trying to get help through my docs. and even counseling. It helps with the depression but not so much for the pain. Also, my feet throb all the time. My legs just feel like dead weight and sometimes even my arms.
I guess I am just looking to talk to someone who can understand. I hate not having the energy there for my family. It really gets to me and then I get even more depressed.
I think my doc. is considering putting me on permeate disability, but what will that do for me financially. I have a great job and have worked for this company for 15 years. I just can't get there right now and I am so afraid I may never be able to again.
You sound just like me, a year ago. Well, okay maybe a few months ago.
Are you currently on any medication and if so what are you taking? I call it electric pain that feels like I am plugged into a wall socket. it just kinda flows through me. Its dreadful. Then there is the everyday pain and fatigue too.
Let me know what your taking, and lets see if there are some ideas
Your post was so like me, I had to make sure I did not post it! My legs are just like yours, I walk like Frankenstein. Seems like it takes longer each day just to run smoother. I hate the electric pain. I get those in my lower buttocks and upper legs.
I found hormone creams in a holistic health place we have here. I have been using them for about 4 months. My depression is GONE. At least one thing is ok, you know? I also suffer from Trigeminal Neuralgia. So I hurt from head to toe. I do not have a life, and I watch it outside. I have two boys, 8 and 4. I feel so bad that I cannot do more for them. Even driving hurts. Too many triggers of pain, even male voices and this bird outside that tweeps real fast, it just makes my head hurt more.
I would like to email you and we can relate and vent. Please email me zeroman at dejazzd *******. I hope to hear from you! Are you on facebook?
Regarding disability, it might be worth a consultation with a disability specialist. If you go to parttime, as some employers push you towards, you may lose some benefits like insurance or disability insurance. Also, as you have been diagnosed with depression, make certain you check your disability particulars. Some limit long-term disability benefits to two years if it's a mental diagnosis. If the company that offers the policy gets wind of the mental treatment, they may latch onto that diagnosis and try to box you in. Tread carefully. Also, It may prove beneficial to take short-term leave under FEMLA if that is available to you, but you will use up vacation and sick days. It is a means of staying employed, reserving a job, maybe the same position and try to concentrate on solving the mystery of your health problems. If you then make the switch to long-term disability, your company is not obligated to hold your job if you come back, but it may be possible you won't lose any benefits, like insurance. You don't want to quit or get fired if you can help it as that will terminate your benefits for sure. (I don't know of any reason you'd want to quit, there always could be I guess.) Your question regarding your job is a sticky wicket. Perhaps more professional opinion is in store. Your company may have requirements under the Disability Act to provide adjustments to your work area, desk, whatever, if you report you are officially disabled and require these adjustments. That might releave some of your work discomfort, maybe not enough. If you have a serious case of Fibro, and children still to raise, I personally recommend you find a way financially to go on short term and then transition to long-term disability so that you get paid as long as possible. (watch filing deadlines at your company carefully) Again, your company has to be big enough to be compelled to offer this. Paid long term is only possible if you have a LT disability policy that pays while out on leave. Otherwise, in the large company, you certainly can take LT Dis maybe still get insurance benefits if you pay the premiums but you may not receive a paycheck.
Back to why get out of work. Fibro is something you don't want to mess around with. Your full time job may need to become doing the things, like yoga, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, massage, light exercise, etc. to try to manage the symptoms. That may allow you to particpate in your family's life and activities. Otherwise, you may deteriorate and become someone who requires care rather than one who gives care. And, it totally *****. I get the missing a great job. You may go through a period of mourning, yes, mourning over your former life: your vitality, your pain-free, treatment free life. Reflect on your priorities and choose intellectually, not while at work. You just can't afford to be sentimental when it comes to defending your health and your ability to care for yourself and thus your family. Be aggressive now in educating yourself and uncovering all the things you can do to help yourself. (You are certainly welcome to check out my profile where I spent some time on a 3 part response to 'kitonthemoon'. I did my best to share my experience over the past 13 years. It's crazy long or I'd put it here.)
While you have posted your inquiry on the fibromyalgia forum, you need to be certain of the diagnosis. Get with a Board Certified Rheumatologist to put you through many tests to eliminate other potential causes for your symptoms, as Fibro is a clinical observation diagnosis; there is no test.
I really recommend you get on this. Chronic pain can tear you down fast. I come from a place very similar to yours and feel strongly about you advocating aggressively for yourself as well as prioritizing yourself and your family over career. You can always go back to work. You can't get back quality time with your family nor can you always fully regain your health past a certain point. It ***** to lack health esp unnecessarily. Best wishes.
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