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Support System

Do you have a reliable support system in place (a spouse, family members, friends, employer or otherwise) and how well do they understand your illness(es)?

Feel free to elaborate on this poll.
15 Responses
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Avatar universal
My family supports me co-workers support b/f not sure he thinks im lieing to get out of doiong things ...My sister drives 100 miles away to come and get me to go to my appointment cause my driving attimes i so confused like im driving the wrong way ...i wish this b/f would understand this pain is real ..
Helpful - 0
719785 tn?1232901518
I guess I'm in between. I have some what of a support system. My mom has fibro. along with many other health issues. MY sister has Lupus. They understand but I feel like they have enough going on without me adding to it by "whining and complaining". My husband doesn't really understand although he tries to be supportive. I am in a place of frustration and depresion. I really appreciate this forum it gives me a litle hope.  THANKS!!!
Helpful - 0
681148 tn?1437661591
Thank you, too!  This is a wonderful support network and forum.  I really appreciate your thoughts and insights that you have offered on this forum.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thanks to all whom participated.  I have to admit that i'm in the middle as well.  My Dh is very understanding; my son tries, but forgets sometimes how I can change from day to day.  I have one very good friend with RA, so she understands me best.  Doctors...well, maybe they know a bit about fibro, but I still think they are blind at times and put us off too frequently ("It's just another symptom.")  It grates me that they still have failed to put FMS/CFS into any medical category, other than Arthritic/Rheumatic.  

It's so nice to have a place like this to come to, and know that no one here will fault you because of how you feel or what you have.  Thank you all for being here and for being the unique individuals that you are!
Helpful - 0
630173 tn?1234278714
Only one person, a friend who moved here from another country, has been there for me.  My family mostly ignored me and never asked if I needed any help.  An older sister only came to where I now live once, and spent the whole time telling me I have to just get over whatever is bothering me (everybody has problems) and spent about half an hour reprimanding me for avoiding my immeidate family members ( I had stopped going to family gatherings because I couldn't handle the business and noise and was having no less than 2 periods a day where I could not even move or talk).
Doctors were no better, a G.P. told me to find another doctor as the B12 shots she was giving me were not working, thank God she had made an appointment for me with an Environmental Specialist to check out all the allergies I had started manifesting.  He helped me but has moved to another city.
I have had 4 G.P.s since then and am currently without any doctor because all of them moved out of town ( they had replaced each other at the same clinic here).  None of the other doctors here would accept me as a patient.  I'll have to go to walk-in clinics.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I am in the same situation as Plateletgal.  I'm between the first two.  I have a great husband and am very close with my sisters but I wouldn't call it wonderful.  I really don't think he has any idea what I live with on a daily basis like going to work etc...  I really don't say much about it because it stresses him out.
Helpful - 0
620060 tn?1235515791
I'm in between.  My husband and parents are my support.  My husband is wonderful. My parents kind of get it, but my dad always tells me I'd do better if  I just "got off those pain pills".  I only take one kind.  Xanax occasionally, and my anti depressant.  He doesn't understand that if I quit taking them I  can't work, or do anything for that matter.  My bosses, I think, understand more than they used to, but still make wise cracks about it.  It hurts sometimes.  The thing that hurts most, though, are my kids.  They don't get all they need from me.  I come home from work, make dinner, clean up and go to my room and lay down to watch tv.  They come in with me, but I can't give them all of me anymore.  I don't have much left by that time of day, and for that I feel terrible and guilty. . . I'm not sure they get what I feel like.  So I have more support than some, but I wish I had more.  Thank goodness for you guys.  Thanks so much for all of your help!!
Helpful - 0
390388 tn?1279636213
No I really don't think anyone really understands.

My husband and my brother seems to but this has been going on for months and months now with no answers as to why after countless blood test and x-rays.  I'm hoping this New year will give some answers to all of the pain.  

I'm starting to get depressed by living like a hermit now in the winter due to pains and lightheaded in the summer.  I used to enjoy fishing, hunting, hiking....and now I just whine and complain that every part of me hurts.  :-(

Then again... being that I'm guessing on Fibro maybe I should not have even voted on your post.  Sorry.  Just getting frustrated.  Though I have met some on here that are understanding.  ;-) Thank you.  

I hope you all have a Happy New Year better than this one.
Helpful - 0
691864 tn?1298919197
It's kinda funny, I was just thinking about this.  My whole family is in Montana and I am in Colorado.  My best friend and her 3 children are 2.5 hours away.  

I have a great co-worker and a terrific supervisor but their main concern, of course, is business and me contributing my portion.  While they are sympathetic, I have to hold up my end of the case load even though I had 70 active clients ( equivalent to 2.5 clinicians), traveled to 4 different sights and did on-call all of which put me into this "spell" to begin with.

Hindsight is always 20-20 and If I had it to do over again, I am not sure I would have moved so far from family and away from a FT job that only required me to work 32 hrs / week.  Seems kind of stupid to trade that for triple the pay but 70 hrs / week and horrible stress.  What was I thinking????
Helpful - 0
681148 tn?1437661591
Most of my support is here on this forum.  I do have a friend I can email to who also has MCS, and I do have a friend with RA.  They understand, but I'm still pretty much on my own.
Helpful - 0
606078 tn?1247264553
I've been very fortunate as far as my hubby and my children understanding. My doctors have been very helpful and understanding, especially my internist. My close friends knew that something was wrong, and when I was diagnosed they have been right here. And this site has been a very important part of life for several months. I've met some freally special people here and they all know what it is to have fibro.

gentle hugs
Angel
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I'm kind of a bit of a couple, My husband definitely fits the first answer he is a great support for me always there for me to talk to when the pain is getting me down and always there to help if I need it, trying to get my children to understand has been difficult because they're still so young, my mother came down with fibro within a week of me so she is someone I can talk to who knows exactly what I'm going through and how I'm feeling so I get support there as well but the rest of my family are not very supportive at all, and don't particularly seem to want to understand what we're going through or offer any support, you can almost see my father roll his eyes when my mother and I bring it up so I would probably put all them down for answer 3 along with alot of my old friends who I haven't seen or heard from since I fell ill
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Like the others, I'm in-between.  My partner understands what I'm going through and my family seem to be learning, albeit very slowly.  Few of my doctors have been especially supportive and absolutely NOBODY in terms of hiring managers is supportive at all - it seems if you can't show up in person, they're not interested in hiring you, even if all they want you to do is sit at a computer all day (which I can quite easily do from home).
Helpful - 0
525545 tn?1293181194
Hi VaBreeze,  I am kind of like PlateletGal I really feel like I am in between the first and second answers. My husband and Kids are my support system and my Doctors. The rest of my support system is my friends on the forums here on MH. I would not make it through each day without my friends in the forums.

Thanks, Shar
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi VaBreeze ! I guess I'm in between the first and second answer. My best friend and my husband are my support system and my specialist is also knowledgeable and caring. I wouldn't call my support system "wonderful" because there are still friends and/or family members out there who are not supportive at all.
Helpful - 0
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