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am i a bad parent because of fibro?
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am i a bad parent because of fibro?

Does anyone else who has children ever feel like a bad parent because of their lack of energy?  Does anyone feel bad because they can't keep their house clean enough?  Am seriously thinking about getting maid service, but the fact that I don't have a job at the moment (don't have the energy to be a mom and work), it would be a serious drain on our money.  We can afford maid service like once or twice a month (maybe once every 3 weeks), it's just that we would not be able to save as much money for other things and cut back on a couple things to make the maid service thing work out.  

Do moms or dads who have fibromyalgia ever feel that they aren't able to parent well enough?  I have a daughter who is going through therapy at age 2, for speech/language, developmental, and occupational therapy.  She might have autism or a sensory integration disorder... so parenting is harder than the average to begin with.  Am waiting to get her in to a specialist in March to get diagnosis.  Somedays I wonder if I had more energy, if she wouldn't have these significant delays, that she'd be developing normally.  Her therapists say this is not the case, but those kinds of doubts still linger in the back of my mind.  Some days with limited energy, it feels like the therapy stuff with my daughter and trying to raise her is the only thing I am doing in my life, with no energy for anything else including my husband.  Not sure if anyone else feels like that raising kids, whether they have special needs or are just normally active kids running around.

I am taking Lyrica now, and it is doing amazing stuff for my pain within the last week that I started it.  My joint pain is not gone entirely but my doctor is upping the dose week by week and I just finished week one.  It doesn't seem to be helping the fatigue issues immediately, and am hoping that will come with time or with a higher dose.  Does Lyrica help with fatigue?   Or maybe I'm just goign through a lot of stress right now which is compounding the fatigue symptoms and maybe Lyrica not helping the fatigue because I'm too stressed out?  

I'm  not depressed, I'm just really tired out from the stress.  Do antidepressants help with stress?  Am hesitant to take them, since the Lyrica thing seems to be making me gain weight already and it's only been a week, and I know antidepressents can cause weight gain.  I also hate popping too many pills, especially if they are unnecessary.  

Anyone offering comments... would be most welcomed, very appreciated, thankful, etc.  
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Hi

I felt like crying when i read your post, i have many of the same feelings and that feel my children miss out but over time i have learned to prioitise my house work i have got my children to help and make it fun my eldest does alot for me and she is 9 but my two young ones help and they are 5 and 7 they polish and my eldest hoovers and they make a line from the washing machine to the tumble dryer things like that.

When i first got ill i spent alot of time grieving for my old life worrying what effect it will have on my children and my relationship with my husband and at first it did effect all of us but now i realise thats it taught my children to be independent and sharing and caring, they realise as i cant work that money is tight so they learnt to go with out things, it still effects my family alot but when im bad we all pull together and help out.

Im not saying its been easy a while ago i had to go on antidepressants and it help me alot as i was so low i was not thinking straight and that was harming my family and i could not cope with the pain well either.

Iv been on lyrica for 8 months i take 450mg a day and also take temazapam to sleep 10 mg and quinine fro the cramps and anti inflammorties for the pain, i find this helps iv also started to go to a chripractor which has helped.

Wipe those negative thoughts from your mind about your daughter, you dont have to be active to be a lovely,caring patient giving Mum it does not matter that the ironing is done or there is washing to do its about the time you spend with your daughter that counts.

My daughter had a developmental delay when she was born and struggled to walk talk and do normal things kids do but with help now at 7 you would not really notice the difference now except in her maths and the way she deals with people and her temper tantrums but apart from that she is no different.
The most important job you can do is rise your family there is no job ( buts that my view) more important, to raise a family teach and encourage them to send them out into the world fully grown adults is amazing, i love being a mother, i wasted many years before i was ill working and having no time for my children really but since being ill iv been here for them even though i cant run around with them and there are days when im in so much pain i still have time for those cuddles and to read and play with them.
I hope this helps.

Samantha
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