treated badly by doctor

[magdelana]

hi there.  so here is a little history before my question.  on a wednesday i went to the ER with a kidney stone episode. i was given pain meds and was sent home later in the evening when we thought the stone had passed.  i visited my family doc the next day and was given a recommendation for a urologist.  i made an appointment with him the next day.  he told me that i probably needed to have a stent procedure and he scheduled it the for next wednesday.  i was back in the ER the next day with the stone that had not passed.  the doc showed up in the ER and said that he would admit me and put the stent in in the morning.  he did and i was sent home.  i was back in the ER on sunday with severe pain.  they kept me until tuesday and sent me home.  i was not told that the stent would cause bleeding nor was i told that i would be in pain. i was told that when the stent was put in there was no evidence of a stone.  so why the stent?  well. he saw some swelling.  soooooooo, on monday, i went back to the urologist to see why i was still in so much pain.  the doc said that he would remove the stent and we would get a follow up CT Scan and if there was no stone, i wouldn't have to come back.  i began to get emotional and told him how scared, upset and in pain i was in.  then he said to me "COULD YOU DIAL IT BACK A LITTLE."  I said, "what did you just say to me.  he said, "COULD YOU DIAL BACK THE DRAMA A LITTLE".  t this point the stent had not been removed.  I said, "who do you think you are talking to".  He said, "I AM SORRY IF I OFFENDED YOU, I JUST WANTED YOU TO CALM DOWN".  Well, why didn't you use those words or something like "I see you are scared and upset, i will do my best to take care of you and we will figure out what is going on".  he said, "do you still want me to remove the stent?.  well, i needed it removed and i let him do the procedure.  On the way out, i stopped i his office and asked him what possessed him to talk to a scared patient like that.  He again said that he just wanted me to be calm.  so, the question.  how to do i deal with this doctor.  who do i complain to.  i am still in pain. not kidney stone pain but pain from the procedure and the stent. any help would be appreciated  

[NannyO5]

I am sorry that happened to you! I went thru stones and stent many years ago. I also dealt with a rude dr. I still wish I wouldve reported him! Follow thru honey!

[Caryopteris]

This is a personality clash.  You are in pain so you are saying things that you don't even realize may set off his personality.  He does not have the right personality to soothe your personality.  Not all doctors react well to patients in pain.  He may be the best urologist in town.  He may be great at handling the most difficult surgical problem and be the best diagnostician, but if your personality and his clash when either or both of you are under stress, you two are not going to communicate well.  Patients with kidney stone pain can't be blamed for acting panicked because it's the worst pain they have ever been in.  But the urologist is following the normal treatment to try to help you, and unfortunately your stone is not cooperating.  Stones are tricky.  Placing a stent can push the stone back up into the kidney.  That doesn't mean he did anything wrong.  What people don't know is that even if the stone you have is a type that can be broken up with lithotripy, you are still going to have to pass the pieces and it is not going to feel good.  That's not what people want to hear.  

I'm sorry you are in pain.  I think your urologist is trying to help you as best he can, but kidney stones are tough.  They always get them in the end, but it's a process to go through.  I have not had a kidney stone, but I did have gallbladder stones.  Having a gallstone attack made me quiet.  I wanted to keep working, but alone so I could change positions and stop and breathe through the pain when I needed to.  People react differently to pain and doctors have personalities also. It is stressful for them when their patients are in pain.  This has been studied and proven.  So he probably feels bad for you but is bad at expressing himself and just wants to concentrate on solving the problem.