5 year old boy with ongoing toileting problems

[chrisy200]

My son has never went to the toilet properly. As a baby he only ever went every third day and would have cried whilst pushing out a lot of stools all in one go. He had anal fissures as a baby and as he got older toilet training was not a problem, but when he would sit on the toilet he would be terrified of passing a stool. At present he goes every 4-5 days and passes a large amount of poo. Sometimes he can hold it for a full week. He does not complain of tummy ache and he still has a good appetite. After he has went to the toilet he is fine for about 2-3 days then he starts doing tiny amounts of poo, which stick to his bum and marks his underwear, he says he does not feel this coming out. After cleaning him on and off for about 2-3 days he will eventually run to the toilet and pass stools. Then it starts again - nothing for 2-3 days, then tiny amounts that have to be cleaned along with pants etc, then a large poo after another couple of days. I have brought him to our GP and paid privately for a Consultant appointment, they all said he is fine, healthy and his stomach felt fine and he would grow out of it. This was over a year and half ago. Will he grow out of it or Is there an underlying medical condition? Could it be behavioral? He is a smart child, our only child, but very outgoing and no family problems etc. Any help or advice would be much appreciated.

[chrisy200]

He went to the toilet today - so that's 5 days. I just need someone to tell me that a lot of kids only go to the toilet every 3-5 days and I don't need to be worried, please!!! Like I said before he has no pain and he eats very well.

[chrisy200]

After the medication had cleared from his system he went to the toilet properly last Thursday, so he went to school on Friday. He hasn't went to the toilet since, so that's 4 days, he has started to mark his pants again slightly so I know he is due to go, but can't give him the medicine to make him go as he won't be able to go to school!!! Just don't know if it's something I should be worried about or not, when I bring him to docs they say he'll sort himself out in time, he doesn't complain of pain or tummy ache and does eventually go to the toilet with no problems. Just keep thinking it isn't normal and I should be doing something.Does anyone else have kids who only go to the toilet every 4 days or so?

[chrisy200]

I really don't think his diet is his problem - he eats plenty fruit and veg everyday. I have found that rice and bananas constipate him more, but chocolate gives him the runs - so he is not allowed any rice / bananas and very little chocolate - especially if he's going through one of the days when he's marking his pants. He loves his food and would rather have 'good' food than sweets. He drinks Mi Wadi with plenty of water added - about 5 cups a day and he gets a cup of water going to bed at night.
I gave him some of the medication the doctor prescribed - Movical the other day and he went to the toilet and I thought great. Then the following I gave him another sachet, but nothing, same the next day, then the runs started. He has went terribly bad in his pants from Monday - he is due to go back to school on Thursday and I can't send him if he is marking his pants as bad as he is now - my own fault I know as I shouldn't have gave him the medicine, I feel that everything I do is wrong! He is constipated, only going every 3-4 days, then when I give him medication he has diarrheoa and can't hold it!!!  Feel completely stuck. I do this every few months, then decide doctors are probably right and he'll grow out it, then I start thinking about it again and worrying that he is damaging his wee bowels and I keep going round in circles and getting nowhere :(

[FurballsMom]

Try adding more fiber to the diet.  In addition to the fiber, though, make sure he drinks more water than he does routinely, though, or the fiber will aggravate the problem.  Flax seed meal and/or ground chia seeds added to the diet in interesting ways can help.

[chrisy200]

Thanks for the response mammo. I did take him to a Consultant Pediatrician and he said it was nothing to worry about. He prescribed something similar to Miralix but the school was against me giving him it as at that stage he was marking his pants in school a lot and they said they were not there to change children but to teach them and if he was taking this medication he would mark his pants more often. I do like the school he is at, but basically if I had have given him the medication he would not have been able to go. I was stuck between what the doctors said and what the teachers said. I held off with the medication for a couple of days and followed the schools advice by putting him on the naughty spot when he went in his pants - only had to do this for a couple of days and he did stop it. He has unfortunately started to mark his pants again but only at home or in his granny's, never at school or when he's out anywhere so he can control it. I just wish he would do regular poos and go to the toilet when he feels the urge. I have seen him sitting in the corner with his toys and I can tell he is holding it in. It does not hurt him when he goes now, I think it could be a habit. I just worry that as the GP and paediatricians said there was nothing, that maybe I missing something. They never done any tests, just felt his tummy.

[mammo]

This is very common in kids this age, but your son needs to see a pediatrician and not your GP.  He needs to be on a stool softener like Miralax because of his severe constipation.  It will soften his stool so he has at least one bowel movement a day and it won't hurt to have one so he will stop holding it which is a dangerous thing to do.  But he can't help it, he's learned this from having to deal with the painful BM's.  He also can't help soiling his pants as this also is a result of him being  constipated, and liquid stool just leaking around the compacted stool and out ....very normal with this condition.  I would get him in to see a pediatrician ASAP so he can get some relief....he shouldn't have to endure this. He will outgrow this but until then he is suffering and needn't be.  This is also stretching his colon which will cause him problems down the road. Get him some help so he can get some relief.