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Colonoscopy and Scared!!!!!!!!!!!
Colonoscopy and Scared!!!!!!!!!!!
by smilie114, Dec 06, 2007 09:30AM
Well, I went i nto have some blood tests done and all was fine............I have been on a health kick all this year (lost 40 pounds and brought down my cholesterol, triglycerides 55....basically pretty healthy.
I started having constipation, so upped my fiber...but sometimes straining to go to bathroom, belching and burping, white spots in stool and yesterday a little blood in the stool. At the time I met with the gastro doctor, was asked if I had blood in stool and I hadn't then. I spoke with someone in his office yesterday and told her about the blood and she said, oh that's not natural.......scared me to death as I had a friend who died of colon cancer six years ago...
Don't have a history of it in family, but keep feeling gassy all day and eat healthy and trying not to drink coffee.....which is my only vice.
I have my colonoscopy scheduled for the 19th of December and doctor wants to run a tube down my esophagus to see what else is going on in there right after that; should I do that test before the colonoscopy?
What else could it be and should I be doing anything else? I also had an abdominal ultrasound done last week and everything turned out normal.
I carry arounf 40-50 pounds of stenographer equipment everyday, so just wondering if I could have ruptured something.
Can someone shed some light on what might be going on?
I started having constipation, so upped my fiber...but sometimes straining to go to bathroom, belching and burping, white spots in stool and yesterday a little blood in the stool. At the time I met with the gastro doctor, was asked if I had blood in stool and I hadn't then. I spoke with someone in his office yesterday and told her about the blood and she said, oh that's not natural.......scared me to death as I had a friend who died of colon cancer six years ago...
Don't have a history of it in family, but keep feeling gassy all day and eat healthy and trying not to drink coffee.....which is my only vice.
I have my colonoscopy scheduled for the 19th of December and doctor wants to run a tube down my esophagus to see what else is going on in there right after that; should I do that test before the colonoscopy?
What else could it be and should I be doing anything else? I also had an abdominal ultrasound done last week and everything turned out normal.
I carry arounf 40-50 pounds of stenographer equipment everyday, so just wondering if I could have ruptured something.
Can someone shed some light on what might be going on?
1. Brief pain swallowing food
2. Heartburn and gas.
3. gurlging in lower intestine
4. dull cramps in large intestine
5. dull shooting pains in rectum
In that exact order, as if the symptoms are following the food as it travels through my body. I wake up the next day feeling fine and starting with breakfast the whole thing starts again. Our symptoms resemble IBS but tests have to be done to rule out other things. My doc now feels I have a gallbladder problem which results in the food not being digested properly, however my stool is fine so if the food isn't being digested properly wouldn't my stool look and feel different?
Anyway, we're in the same boat. I'm freakin' out, and the more I freak the worse I feel. Everyone tells me not to worry. That fatal diseases carry much worse symptoms. That my blood work would have shown something out of wack. My doc even told me that people who are truly sick really feel it and know it. He says people like me have something not working right. By the way, if you had constipation the blood in your stool could be from the hard stool passing through your colon or rectum which wouldn't be anything to worry about unless it continues. Good luck, and let me know what you find out.
I tested positive for H-Pylori last year, but doctor didnt prescribe anything for it, so i thought it wasn't a big deal. This time when the blood tests came back, they want me to do the Prev-pack and Prevacid for two months because I tested positive for it again. I found out that there is a breath test that doc can give you to see if you have live bacteria at the moment. But they couldn't do that, because they are currently out of the test. (uhhhhh!) So I took it upon myself to look some stuff up on the internet about H-Pylori and how to be rid of it. The Europeans use this product called, Mastic gum called, "bye-pylori" that will get rid of it. The website is www.lifeenhancement.net for purchase. They Prev-pac is expensive as you seem to know.
I ate some beets a couple of weeks back and my stool was a little red then, probably from the beets. A friend told me to eat them and it would help my gallbaldder, which I found out that I have no gallstones, according to the abdominal ultrasound. But the beets did kind of subside my symptoms.
When I had my ultrasound, the tech was very nice and said she didn't see anything that was a concern, but had to wait for the radiologist to read them and send to my doc. The doc's office did call me and said nothing showed up (that's great) They said nothing wrong with my gallbladder and no gallstones.I think I will keep my gallbladder. I wouldn't worry about the ultra...if there was something really going on, they would have probably contacted you by now. But curious to know what you find out. PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU HEAR SOMETHING!
I kind of freak out sometimes as well...only cause I work so hard at trying to lead a healthier lifestyle. I'm with you in the worry department, though. But isn't that where faith comes in? I will definitely put you on a prayer list.
I have upped my fiber, as I said, and taking in lots of flaxseed everyday in the foods that I eat. It really helps. I've never been regular, but now go like clockwork everyday. I still do strain and my doc's office said the blood could actually be a hemorroid. Can't wait to get these tests over with and enjoy the holidays.
My coworker had constipation before her GB was taken out and pain under the left shoulder blade, stools were loose and nauseous. So not sure if it's your GB, but wait until the endo and colonoscopy...should shed some light on what's going on. There are so many things that can go haywire with our digestive systems and let's not panic!!!!
Good luck with all of your tests; did you say that yours are on the 19Th as well? It seems that we are two healthy individuals that just want some straightforward answers so we can get on with the rest of life!!!!!
Thanks for the encouragement...take care
My ultrasound came back clean. Doc didn't elaborate on the phone other than to say everything looked fine. So now I have two clean tests: blood and ultra. However I'm still freaking out. Something is definitately wrong because I still have dull pains from the time I eat to when I have a bowel movement. I'm so afraid it's going to be stomach cancer or cancer somewhere else. I've wasted so much time searching the web only to read things that make me worry worse. I want to have faith, I don't want to worry, but I can't help it. I've heard too many stories about healthy or good people getting sick and dying. I'm 45, but my kids are only 6 and 8 and my biggest fear in life is that I won't see them grow up. My wife is getting tired of me fearing for my life. She used to call me the rock in our family, and now I'm afraid she doesn't feel that way anymore. I just feel that I haven't been a good enough person in this life to be spared from some aweful disease. I'm sorry to go on like this.
Yes my endo and colo are on the 19th, but I'm scared out of my mind that they will find something bad and tell my wife while I'm still drugged up. I've always eaten well, worked out my whole life, and just retired from my softball team that had mainly 20 and 30 year olds on it. But over the last 2 years I've been diagnosed with vertigo, then I had a sinus operation, and now stomach problems. I just don't feel I'm going to be able to dodge another bullet.
One of the many reasons I'm trippin', is that I saw a friend I haven't seen in 20 years today, and she told me that my ex girlfriend's mother died of stomach cancer, and when I asked her how she got it, she told me they believed it was from H-Pylori, and she then asked me if I had ever heard of it. I almost fell out of my chair! She had no idea that I've been having stomach problems and fears. What are the chances that I would have this encounter while I'm going through an ordeal that started when my doc suspected H-Pylori?
It also made me wonder if my blood test or ultrasound revealed whether or not I still have H-Pylori or any cancer even though the doc didn't say anything and said I was clean. Sorry to go on like this, I guess I'll close for now. Thanks for reading. I appreciate your kind words and response.
Both of you all have or have had H.pylori, which is notoriously hard to get rid of, and can cause tremendous digestive tract discomfort. That must be treated aggressively. Following any completed round of medication for it, consume Acidophilus milk or yogurt for a week or two, to restore proper bacteria. Get retested for H. pylori on a regular basis (minimum every six months). I think that diagnosis is the basis of most of your difficulties.
Dear Smilie,
The blood in your stool can certainly be from hemrhoids, which come from straining and/or constipation, and I'm amazed they didn't check that out before ordering up a colonoscopy. Be that as it may, the colonoscopy procedure itself is a good five-year test to have, a breeze, they sedate you very well, winds up being pleasant, of all things.
GG
Thanks for the response. I agree with your assessment of smilie's blood being from hemmoroids (hemorrhoids). I too have hems, and though I didn't see blood in my stool, I did see it on the toilet paper. I haven't had that in a while. I found that warm baths, keeping the area dry, and using Pre-H really helped. Also stool can really be colored by what you eat. I found that out after drinking cranberry juice.
As far as the HPylori. My problem is my doc prescribed the Prevpac after I told him my symptoms over the phone. After I completed the 2 weeks of meds I did feel better, but different ab problems like I describe above began. So I went to see my doc who told me that the Prevpac should have wiped out the HP and that's when he decided to run me through the tests: blood, ultrasound, endo/colon and possibly the radioactive ultrasound if nothing is found in the previous tests. I've had the first 2 tests done which came back clean. So I'm wondering like you say, if I still have the HP? Wouldn't that show up in the blood test? Should I call my doc and ask him if they looked for the HP antibodies in the blood test? How do I know until I get the endo/colon test that I don't have something worse? Just sitting here writing this I have an occassional short pain here and there: one in my belly, then another in my side, then sometimes in my rectum. Never for very long and never very painful. Just a short quick needlelike twinge. Could that be HP? And if you have HP is your stool normal like mine?
Anyone please help if you have an idea. I really appreciate it.
Yes, the H. pylori can persist, even after treatment, and can cause ALL SORTS of digestive upset. Sometimes tests for it can come up negative, and then later come up postive, which is why to get retested periodically, particularly since you've been positive before. Google a few websites about that problem, so you'll be better informed, because it takes a while to get rid of it, I don't care what your doc says. Sometimes different antibiotics have to be used, it is a very stubborn infection.
Now, as I said earlier, anytime you take medication to kill bacteria like that, it also kills all the beneficial bacteria in the digestive system, which you need to restore it. "Good" bacteria aids in digestion, and if you don't have enough of it, you'll get WILD digestion symptoms. You have to be done with your round of meds to do the following: Consume acidophilus milk or yogurt for a week or two. You can buy it in the grocery store. The yogurt version is excellent, there's a brand called "Activia," comes in diff flavors. Every time I finish a round of ANY antibiotic for anything, and my dogs too, I drink Acidophilus milk with my cheerios for a week. Helps restore normal bowel movements. (Don't consume it while you're on meds or you'll throw up.)
The pain you feel is gas from indigestion. If you notice it after you've finished the above-recommended acidophilus routine, take some alka selzter when it hits, to get you through until your procedure.
By the way, whatever tests your doc did, yes, you can call and ask point blank, "How did the H. pylori test come out?" Their answer will reveal everything. If you're not satisfied in some way, feel free to just walk into an urgent care clinic or ER or county clinic, and ask for the H. pylori test. Ask the nurse who takes the blood when are they going to tell you the result and how. Also, when you have your colonoscopy done, ask the person who does the exam, "Did you find anything? What do I have?" Also, ask the NURSE who is working with the doctor or technician how did things look. They are more likely to tell you pretty quick what they saw. The test results and report go to your general doctor and take until your next appointment to find out about. If it's serious, they'll call you before that.
Do not get too focused on what COULD be wrong with you. This is common in people with health issues, fear of the unknown snowballs into, "I am going to die." Let the doctors do their job. And you do that H. pylori test on your own, if you need to, and please do the Acidophilus. Try to channel your fear into positive physical activities if you can, which gets endorphins going, which takes the mind off physical discomfort.
GG
Wow, you've been through a lot, with that mass and surgery and all. The reason I know about H. pylori is because I have irritable bowel syndrome. So, after some harrowing times, and no one knew what was wrong, I ended up studying everything to do with indigestion. I "cured" myself when I found out a medication I was taking created the problem, I stopped the medicine, it went away. However, because I had diahrea 24/7 for SIX MONTHS, my poor bowels are still sensitive to food.
Anyway, it was during that time that I came across H. pylori, which I was indeed tested for, and came up negative. So, I'm just giving information from my recollections. That's why I suggested to the other poster to Google it for some websites devoted to the issue, because it's a nasty thing to get. I think self-education is sometimes necessary when problems don't go away. But I imagine the doctors are thinking since you have no symptoms, why worry with it. Many people get H. pylori, but not everyone has symptoms, sometimes it resolves by itself. I would look those sites up for you myself, but I'm having a rather bad day from other health issues today. So, perhaps if you read from some online info, you will understand H. pylori better.
What I find interesting about your situation is, you had BOTH H. pylori and a mass in your small intestine. All I can imagine is what if they had missed that small bowel obstruction. Your post humbles me a lot. But this is a patient-to-patient forum, and I offer what little bit I have learned from my own ordeal, in hopes it will help others.
GG
I'm sorry to read that you're not feeling well. I hope it makes you feel a little better to know that you've given me a little hope that nothing is seriously wrong with me. I took your advice and got the Activia yogurt. How many per day would you suggest I eat? I'm not feeling too bad anymore except I get a round of cramps about once per day usually at night before I go to bed or in the morning before I have a bowel movement. By the way, my stools have been getting harder and harder and today they were like little hard balls. I'm sorry for the explicit discription. I read it could be caused by a colon obstruction, or do you think the H-P could do that too?
Thanks
Constipation doesn't necessarly mean bowel obstruction. I had an obstruction in my small intestine and didn't have constipation. I did have a lot of stomach (or general area) pains that would come and go and sometimes diarehea. Are you drinking plenty of water and trying to up your fiber? Try and eat more fruits and veggies and drink lots and lots of water.
I hope you feel better soon too!
Thank you for your encouragement.
The antibiotic you took before, for the H. pylori, can cause constipation, which is what those "hard balls" were. That is why Acidophilus milk is good to take afterwards, to get that under control. You asked about how much of the Activia yogurt to take (also contains Acidophilus). On the label, it says to eat one of the little cartons of it daily for two weeks. Me, I only ate half a carton daily. But I'm a small person, and at the time, my appetite was ruined because of my irritable bowel, so I couldn't eat the whole thing. Generally H. pylori doesn't cause constipation.
April's advice is very good, about the water and fruit and vegies and fiber. Salads are very good for digestion. Blueberries on cheerios with Acidophilus milk is good. Also 100 percent whole wheat toast. Drink at least two extra glasses of water in the daytime, make it a lifelong habit. Try to exercise with some regularity.
GG
Thanks for the feedback. My colonoscopy and endo is a week from today. In the meantime I'm continuing to worry. So thanks to you I have people I can communicate with and get some support from. ggreg, I took the Prevpac for the HP about a month or so ago so I doubt it would still cause constipation wouldn't you? Also, remember that my doc diagnosed the HP over the phone based on my symptoms, and when they didn't go away after the Prevpac he decided I must have something else. He said the Prevpac should have taken care of it. That's why I'm now going through all the tests. They said my blood test and ultrasound were "clean". Do you know what serious illnesses can be ruled out if those come back "clean"? I called his office to find out if the HP showed up in my blood test so I can be sure if I ever had it but we missed each other.
Also, regarding eating more fiber, drinking more water and exercising, that's exactly what I was doing. I've always lived a healthy lifestyle like that, but I'm also a constant worrier. My stomach problems started a few months ago and the symptoms have changed ever since, and they are always worse when I'm worrying.
Let me run this by you guys and see if you have any guesses, here's what I have now: I feel ok in the morning, and always have a BM after breakfast, but as the day progresses I start feeling worse. By dinner my lover left side between my belly button and hip cramps up. I also hear and feel my dinner gurgling in my stomach. I try to have a BM to get rid of the feeling and either nothing comes out or it's very little. I also get gassy, but can't push that out either. Have you ever heard of feeling like you have to pass gas, but when you try it feels blocked and doesn't come out? It's almost as if the food I've eaten since my last BM is building up in my colon and blocking it causing the cramps and inability to pass gas. Could that be?
Finally, regarding the Activia, are you saying to eat one container per day? Or one whole 6 pack per day?
Thanks for all your advice.
Athleet
You eat ONE single little yogurt cup per day. I'm sorry, I was not clear before. If you eat the whole six-pack, I suspect you'll vomit it up forthwith! Ha! The usage information is on the packaging itself.
You say in your most recent post you are having a regular bowel movement in the mornings! This is fantastic! So, I suspect your evening indigestion is not a big deal, and is on account of gas.
You can get gas from many things, including the constipation and H. pylori we've been talking about, but it can also come from: Heavy meals, skipping lunch, rushing while eating, exercising after eating. When you feel those gas pains strike, you can try an alka seltzer. When I was young, I would eat a huge lunch after church on Sundays, and it always gave me terrible gas pains. My grandmother gave me the alka seltzer trick.
I'm giving more thought to your age, your stress levels, that sort of thing. Athleet, while you may have some sort of dangerous disease eating you alive, which they're going to find out when they do those scope procedures, you also must consider your freak-out levels. Sometimes going through physical difficulties can set off an alarm system in the head. This never-ending ringing goes on and on, you're sick, you know it, and no one is hearing what you hear. This is precisely what happened to me.
This is normal, in my opinion. The body is just trying to protect itself. But if you're a sensitive, like I am, this can bury you alive, to where even though you are better, you can't dig out. Me, I keep trying to find that "off" button on my alarm, and sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. In women like me, doctors say I'm "going through the change" or "it's all in your head." In men, well, they are naturally more courageous and they just go out and buy a sports car.
I don't know if anything I am saying makes sense or helps you. But it's all I know to say. You have indeed become a bundle of nerves, you're over the top, you're falling apart, you think you're going to die, and maybe you are. But you don't know that yet. That's why I'm addressing your emotional state. EVERYONE is going to die. But it is very hard to take a person who is standing up and feeling fine one day, and then kill him dead the next.
Let the doctors do their tests. Keep up with paying attention to your eating habits, try to recall any recent changes in your daily activities, think about why all of a sudden is your tummy growling at you after dinner, concrete knowable things. Health, that's for the doctors. But you CAN do a few little things to help it along, until either they find something or you get well. But one thing I know, it is absolutely incredible what painful physical or mental problems can do to a person.
I could tell you quite the stories about what I've been through. All so personal, all so boring, so strange. It took me years to untangle everything. I'm just telling you a little bit of stuff from what I've learned, to save you the trouble I go through. I'm retired, almost sixty, and I am truly wasted. But you know something, I don't care. I'm still me. And I DID go to hell and back, so I OUGHT to be a little wrung out. Attitude, courage, and heart, THOSE are the things that count in this world.
GG
Here's what happened to me in as short of a version as possible: With wealth, a good job, a nice home, wife and two young children came the stress and worry that someday I would lose it all. 2 years ago I noticed I was dizzy on a daily basis. That began 2 years of every test, drug and doctor available (each time causing me to worry about the findings and sent me into the deepest darkest depression that I have ever experienced including thoughts on how to kill myself) until they decided I have vertigo due to a damaged middle ear. Soon after that anytime I didn't feel good I worried that it was another condition that would begin another 2 years of hell or that the doctors were wrong about the dizziness not being fatal. It began a "I don't care about my body anymore" pattern which led to 5 nights (each separated by a week) of heavy hard liquor drinking and worrying that I was doing something I wasn't suppose to be doing. From that point on I've had stomach trouble. It hurts more when I worry, and almost non-noticeable when I don't. But its there everyday. I just feel that if I can get to a point where I KNOW I don't have a fatal disease I will feel better. That's why I keep trying to get answers before the procedure next week at least to ease my mind until then and to have some faith that the outcome won't be tragic. Thoughts? Comments? Sound familiar?
We all have something that triggered us into thinking physical things happening to us might be fatal. Mine actually started with when a good friend of mine's husband had a major heart attack a last year. Thank God he lived, as there are those that don't. He has not really changed his lifestyle though, sad. After that every little thing was magnefied exponentially. I started freaking out about every twitch, large or small. Great friends have helped me see that freaking out just makes things worse. I'm not going to say that I'm "not scared" about my colonoscopy next week, but I do want to get it done (need to have it done since I'm over the recommended age) I'm a pretty healthy person and this problem that I'm having with my stomach is probably stress or anxiety related.....
Here's the good thing..............you and I have family and friends that can help us through this. We are both having the test done on the same day,,,so in the meantime, we need to just go about our lives and live in the PRESENT!!!!
Have to cut this short, as I have a meeting...but will check back later now that I can log in again.
All
I'm essentially having the same symptoms that you're having.
Hopefully ggreg is reading this: I heard from my doc's office today. They DID NOT test for H-Pylori in my blood test even though that's what they original suspected. So I really don't know if I have it or not. They said the colonoscopy and endo will tell if I have it. They said my ultrasound showed my gallbladder, liver and pancreas to be "clear" which I asked if that means no stones and no masses and they said yes. But they didn't look at my stomach or intestines which is what the colon/endo will do. I also asked if my blood test would have shown an infection and they said yes, but it was clean. So I guess I can worry a little less. By the way, if my colon/endo is clean, my doc wants me to get another ultrasound but with a radioactive fluid injected into me to see if my gallbladder is working properly. So I'll have another test to worry about, although the colon/endo is the one with the results I fear the most. I'm not sure why my doc keeps going after the gallbladder. I don't have heartburn anymore. I just have what I described above...side cramps, gas, hard to pass stool, hard to pass gas, gurgling and occassional upset stomach. All that almost always after I eat, but mostly when I'm stressed and worried. But the symptoms have changed over the last 3 months.
I'll leave you with this you can related too: I was watching Ray Romano doing a stand-up routine on tv. He said when you reach a certain age you start worrying about every little bump you find. He said one day he felt a bump on his side and freaked out until he felt the exact same bump on his other side. He said..."oh wait a minute, here's one on this side too! They're twin bumps! They must be normal...nevermind I'm ok."
Funny. Yeah, there comes a time in everyone's life when you realize the light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train. Shocking stuff, but you can get used to it. I found your story about your life obstacles interesting. My husband has vertigo, and I can tell you how it affected him. Men have it hammered in their head that part of their purpose is to go out and make a living, kind of like women should be mothers. Vertigo interferes with doing work, and this upset my husband very much. There is an astronaut who was in the Apollo program, almost got his shot at the moon, and vertigo took him down, literally. But to remind you of that well-worn story, he was still able to participate with NASA doing other things, and eventually they got him on a Shuttle.
Still, this is not to say that you and Smilie don't have real life-threatening health issues. H. pylori can eat away at the digestive tract, sometimes producing ulcers, all the way up to lymphoma, like April was talking about. As I said, it's up to the docs, that's what THEY do. But I see no harm in demanding a specific H. pylori test, for crying out loud.
Time healed my husband. He's just two years from retirement now, so he's a happier camper. But vertigo scared the heck out of him, shook him at his foundation. Me, accepting aging was what worked for me, at least my mental attitude. One day I realized even though my body changed, I was still me inside. Then later, this notion locked in, click, when I stepped out of myself and laughed at how goofed up I was, got easier to quit trying so hard. Cher said it best, when asked if romance might still be in her future even though she hit the big 5-0. She said, "Well, I guess if grass can grow through concrete, there's still hope for me."
As for my story, Athleet, well, suffice it to say I was in a car wreck as a young adult, broke my back, my boyfriend was killed, I was institutionalized twice, and to this day, I cannot ride in a car, I limp, and I can't even art a bad painting anymore. So, when I see people falling apart, I empathize. And since I have knit up the raveled sleeve of care rather a lot, I can't help but lean over and whisper an encouraging word when I am called.
Smilie, sorry I've hijacked your thread. And sorry, Athleet, but I've gone way off point here. But I reckon sometimes it helps people to know they're not alone, which is why there are forum support groups, to get some information "from the far side." Now, if I can just remember what in the world we've been talking about (one of MY "issues), I'll jump back in.
Best regards to you all, GG
I respect what you've been through and you do seem to know a lot about our problems. I'm sorry to hear about the problems in your past, but it's good to know that someone can triumph like you have. My vertigo did the same to me that it did to your husband. I was a 25 year old in a 44 year old's body mentally and physically. I took such good care of myself that I was able to take on guys half my age. This is not to sound egotistical. It's just to illustrate how I went from that to this. The vertigo stripped me down and turned me inside out. I went from wrestling with my young children to sitting on a chair afraid to do anything physical for fear of being dizzy. After a very dark people I was able to resume my healthy living. I lost 37 pounds since Jan. of this year and then whamo! Stomach trouble. I'm not as depressed as I was before, I'm just tired of tests and docters and afraid that my luck on passing tests will end with the one next week. So I turn to others like you to give me a word of advice.
At this point I just want to get the test over with and enjoy the holidays. Unless of course my results are bad. By the way, I've heard the colon/endo is a breeze, but I've also heard that preparing for it is the worst part. I guess you drink something the day before and spend the day going to the bathroom? The instructions they sent to me said to not be far from a toilet 24 hours before the procedure!
So sorry about my poor analogy about the train. I was trying to be funny. I just meant when we reach a certain age, we recognize we're not invincible. That's life, that's all. I've just been trying to show you that while situation can be unnerving, others have passed that way before, and the view improves. And I only meant to show respect to your concerns about your illnesses when I said they might be serious. Oh, dear. I've got foot in mouth disease, for sure! But I'm sure you understand why.
Yes, on the colonoscopy preparation, you have the urge to go to the bathroom a lot. The bowel is cleaning itself out, and by golly, it's a gonna clean out! But quickly the waste goes clear and you're done. Believe it or not, my exam last year was during the Christmas holidays, and towards the end of my relationship with the toilet, I had to entertain family who came in from out of town, and the next day went in for my procedure. So, it's a little like diarrhea, you feel rather goofed-up while it's going on, but eventually you make it. I was exhausted and laughing hysterically by the time my husband got me to the exam, but the procedure, gosh, that twilight anesthesia was the best I felt the entire year.
I'll step out of here now. I've done enough damage. You'll do fine with the whole thing. You are just a little worried about changes in your life. And vertigo just caught you off guard, you'll get used to it, just make a few mental adjustments, and everything will return to normal. (Or as a friend of mine likes to say, subnormal. Ha! :)
GG
Just want to say I'm here praying for us both and know that everything will be okay. I've been keeping busy and trying to push that test out of my mind and I suggest you do the same. The outcome (statistically) is in our favor....when our thoughts, feelings and actions that we put into the universe are postitive, they come back to us in a positive manner. I think the guy who wrote the book "Don't Sweat the Samll Stuff" should have included the colonoscopy test in there as well. Sounds like we have really dedicated ourselves to staying healthy (this year), and whatever the future holds that will certainly be a plus...as opposed to people that don't take care of themselves.
Elizabeth Gilbert (author of "Eat, Pray, Love) said, I want to have a bigger, smaller life; meaning more time with family,more joy, happiness, HEALTH, books, friends, and smaller as in less material things. That certainly would apply to me at this point in my life. Just give me the simple life.....everybody on this blog is here for you!!!! (hi, ggreg!! really enjoy your imput.. Thanks for the words of encouragement and frankness)
Take care
I hope they find out what's going on with you. I'll have to check out that book you mentioned. I love to read! :)
I totally agree with Smilie that I want and need to go back to what matters most: my family, friends and faith. I enjoy staying home with my kids, watching a movie with my wife and watching sports by myself. I just don't understand why I do things that cause me so much guilt that I worry, then stress, and feel ill and then think I'm going to die or get horrible results from a test like the one I'm having Wednesday.
Ok enough of that....Smilie, I agree with April on getting the colon/endo at the same time. Why do you want to put yourself through going back for another test at another time when you can have both done in one visit while your asleep and hopefully walk away knowing you're ok? What if your doc says your colon is clean? Then you'll have to wait until you get your endo tested before you can find out if that's clean too. I've never heard of the gas thing. I think if that's true then why would so many docs suggest getting both done at once. It sounds very common to me. I think you will avoid a lot of additional worry and stress if you do both at once.
I don't know if I told you, but I have hemmorroids that bother me from time to time and when they do I have very light blood on the toilet paper. So that really isn't anything to worry about. By the way have your symptoms changed at all? And what are you still experiencing? Did the last doc give you any other advice or info?
I'm now on day 3 of NO stomach trouble. Maybe it's thanks to ggreg's advice on the Activia which I eat everyday. Or maybe what I had bothering me is getting better. However I'm still going through with the test so I can hopefully have more peace of mind. Between the tests for my stomach and the tests I had for my vertigo, almost everything will have been tested in the last 2 years. So it's my hope that I can finally move on, not do anything anymore that makes me feel guilty and worry, and enjoy life the way it's meant to be enjoyed. I pray these tests will allow me to do that, and for you too.
And what about you April? What symptoms do you still have?
ggreg, that's amazing that you entertained for the holidays while preparing for your colonoscopy. Again, your reassurance is appreciated. Yes, my favorite part will be the drugging. It's so good to know that you can be put out and have something done without feeling a thing. I had sinus surgery this year and it seemed like I was out for a second. I like the part of going home and going to sleep afterwards. The only drawback is that I'm currently on vacation from work and I will be spending it worrying about, preparing for and having an endo/colon procedure. I go back to work the next day!
Thanks everyone for the words..I look to hearing from all of you.
I was reading through this blog.....wow! a lot to read so I'm not even sure that I am addressing this comment to the correct person. Please forgive me that! Let me begin by saying that I have had Crohn's disease for 13 years and have had several relapses but overall I cannot complain because I have been very fortunate. My daughter, however, presents with some of the symptoms that I believe you described in a very early comment of yours. My daughter is 14yrs old, has anxiety and as long as 3-4 years ago was thought to be lactose intolerant. Well, she went for the test and we found out she wasn't lactose intolerant but had H. Pylori. She was put on a round of very strong antibiotics and for 3 months her symptoms cleared and she no longer had pain. Slowly but surely over the course of a few months her symptoms reappeared. She again went on antibiotics for h.pylori believing that perhaps it had never been remediated. Her pains persisted and but her blood work came back negative for h.pylori. From that point on her complaints have increased and she reports sharp pains in her lower left abdomen (not usually associated with Crohn's), very loud gurgling sounds after eating (especially in the AM) and the urge to go to the bathroom but often cannot pass anything. I did notice that she frequently eats a meal and within 20 minutes needs to go to the bathroom. She was diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome which I believe has become a 'blanket term' to cover all kinds of maladies. Then when I sent her to another specialist in Boston we were told that she has abdominal migraines (even though she doesn't always get headaches with the pain). There is no doubt in my mind that she is experiencing something that has never accurately been diagnosed as of yet. I'm sure I left out many tiny pieces to this puzzle but she has had ultrasounds, scopes, endoscopies, biopsies, lactose intolerance tests and blood work but no one has been able to diagnose the reason for the gurgling or severe pain on the left. She also has taken Prevacid, Zantac and other acid reducers. Does this sound familiar to anyone?
Jeannine
Ninnin, your daughter has a lot of what I have and had. Only you have the advantage of the results of a few more tests. Left side pain is sometimes tied to the pancreas. Have they checked that? Does her symptoms flare up mostly when she's stressed, worried, anxious, depressed etc...? I guess I might be able to be more helpful once I get my results. Stay tuned......
I checked with several doctor's offices and they all say that the doc doesn't do the tests at the same time because insurance companies pay them hardly anything when the procedures are combined. Well, you could say that the doc gets the short end of the stick (no pun intended) and the patient as well (myself in this case) So I decided to keep the appointment for this Wednesday and get the darn thing over with. I asked his nurse if he would speak to me afterwards about his findings and she said that usually the patient doesn't remember him speaking to them cause of the anesthetic. Could be.....I did schedule the endo the following Friday......
Went to a function last night and ate there..it was around 7pm and woke up around 4am feeling nauseous and bloated. So been eating crackers and drinking Sprite all day. But definitely eating something solid before this day ends!!!
My test is Wednesday at 2pm..will probably be home around 5 or so. I hope you hang in there and get yourself some rest tonight, as you surely won't get any tomorrow.
So tomorrow it will be an all liquid diet and lots of trips to the bathroom.
So I have to remember not to focus on what I'm GOING THROUGH, BUT WHAT I'M GOING TO!!!! AND THAT IS A CLEAN BILL OF HEALTH! (you should too)
Take care.
I don't know how your church is but many churches are very legalistic and too caught up in their own man made doctrines. Just be careful about that. God did not mean for His church to be like that. He came to set us free from the power of sin and the condemnation of it. He doesn't want us living in guilt, fear, etc. He wants us to accept His free gift and live in freedom! Otherwise, His sacrifice meant nothing. Try and stay away from churches that are too legalistic. Find one that is joyful, where you can feel the spirit of God when you walk in. I think it must grieve Him terribly how many of His churches are.
You said you can't feel Him. We usually can't when we are filled with guilt, anxiety, fear, etc. It quenches His spirit. As long as you know you made that choice and asked Him into your life and repented of your sins and believe that He is the son of God, then you are saved and there's nothing, absoloutly nothing that you can do to change that. He is not so fickle that He drops you like a hot potato everytime you mess up. His word says that He remains faithful even when we are unfaithful because He cannot disown Himself (2 Timothy:13).
Anyway, just wanted to share that. Didn't mean to highjack this thread, but couldn't figure out how else to talk to you since you don't have a pofile set up to send you a private message. Take care!
Smilie..boy doesn't that figure that it's about money regarding having both tests! I still think you should have both at once. They never flinched when my doc ordered it. So are you saying that you are having the endo Friday? Yes, the doc will discuss the findings with whomever takes you. I took my mom last year and the doc told me they found a small polyp. However, as best as I remember, I don't think they have the biopsy results yet. So you may go home knowing if they found anything but may not know anything else until it's looked at under a microscope. If I'm wrong about that part, anyone reading this feel free to correct me. My wife is taking me. I'm going to hammer her to get as much out of the doctor as possible and to get him to give me the biopsy results (if there is one) as soon as possible. You know, tell him what a nervous wreck I am! BTW my mom has had 2 colonoscopies in her life and both times they found a non-cancerous polyp, so my changes don't look for good for a clean scope. I hope they check for the H-Pylori for both of us too so I can get that out of the way. How do they check for that in the colon anyway?
Smilie, guess what? I have a rack of baby back ribs on my barbeque right now! I feel like you do. I'm going to have a good meal tonight since it's all liquid and jello tomorrow, then the liquid to clean my colon tomorrow night, then more liquids and another shot of the colon cleanser Wednesday morning. My test is at 3:00pm! Wow, we're almost at the exact time! I hope and pray we both tell each other good news. And if not, I hope we can continue to support each other along with those on this board that have helped (ggreg where are you?).
So you woke up in the middle of the night with nausea. I got a call in the middle of the night from my work telling me someone called in sick. I had to call in someone who had only a few hours sleep to fill-in for the sick person (I'm a manager). Then I couldn't get back to sleep and my stomach started hurting once again making me wonder if this is all stress related.
Well I'm going to go check on those ribs. Hope to hear from you before Wednesday!
Anyway, that's funny that you mentioned that scripture. That actually wasn't the one I was talking about but it's a good one! Apparently, that's the one God wanted you to hear, lol! The one you heard was Romans 7:21-25. It's Paul talking about his struggle with sin. The one I was talking about is Romans 8:35-39. That one says that nothing can seperate us from the love of Christ.
I really think you need to think seriously about finding another church. If that one is cold and scary, it will not only quench the Holy Spirit in your own life but your children will grow up fearing God and may rebel when they're older and want nothing to do with God. I grew up in a church that was very legalistic. I rebelled for awhile as an adult and it took a very long time to overcome viewing God as some angry god ready to hit me with a baseball bat every time I screwed up. It makes you want to quit because you think you can't please Him anyway. It wasn't until I was 30 before someone introduced me to Jesus. All my life I grew up in church and had never known He wanted a personal relationship with me. He wasn't just some God far away! He's a God who wants to be intimately involved in our lives.
Remember what I said about the legalistic churches. They're more man made. God's spirit isn't even usually in these churches. The Bible says He inhabits the praises of His people. So if His people are always somber and more interested in a bunch of rules rather than just worshiping and praising Him, do you really think He's there? The only people that Jesus had harsh words for was the Pharises because they did everything right, they knew all the commandments, prayed and fasted, tithed their money but they were spiritually dead inside!! Jesus told them that the prostitutes and the tax evaders are entering Heaven before them! What's that tell you? Jesus is more interested in your heart than you acting pious and righteous. Only God knows everyone's hearts and they will be judged accordingly.
If you honestly want to develop your faith and get to know God more intimately, then you need to find a church that can fill that need. If you continue in a dead church, your faith will suffer and not grow.
Go ahead and try and send the email again or update your profile on here and I can PM you instead. I hope all goes well with you with your tests.
BTW, those ribs sound awfully good! What time is dinner? :) Enjoy! God bless.
Profile is updated so we can discuss the spiritual part further...I'll check out the Romans that I missed. Ribs were great. My daughter, mother and I ate them, my son had a hot dog and my wife had a salad with chicken I had smoked on the grill with the ribs. It was a good last meal before I go liquid for 2 days!
Hope to hear from you. How are you feeling by the way?
The only symptoms I get anymore is heartburn, itching skin (which makes me wonder if I have a food intolerence?), upset stomach from time to time and loose bowel movements from time to time. Seems to be more in relation to what I eat which is why I wonder if I'm just sensitive to certain foods. It's really not too bad, though. At least I don't have those terrible stomach pains anymore.
That's what you're going in for, right? A colonoscopy/endoscopy? Ever had one done before? If so, how was it? Just wondering what to expect.
Yes, this Wed I will have my first end/colon procedure. That's what I'm all freaked out about.Not the procedure, but the results. I'm told I will begin only liquids tomorrow and then have to drink a fluid that will flush my system and clean the colon for the procedure. I will take it again on Wednesday. I'm told to stay near a toilet once I begin drinking the stuff because it's a very powerful laxative. That part I'm not looking forward to. I'm on vacation from work and this is how I'm spending it! However, I hear you are asleep during the procedure and don't feel a thing. The next day you feel fine which is the day I return to work wouldn't you figure. That's from everything everyone has told me who has had it done. I don't really have much stomach problems anymore, I just don't know if I ever had the H-Pylori and I pray they don't find anything bad. How did you handle them finding the mass? Didn't it scare you? Or did your faith carry you through? I don't think I'll be able to handle that kind of news. What is Crohns like?
Hope you are doing well. I don't know where you live, but here the doc's just won't do the second procedure at the same time because the insurance companies (according to their offices) don't pay them as well when the second procedure is performed. Well, anyway, I've had some personal issues (the last couple of days) and long story short...I switched my endo for tomorow and the colonoscopy for next friday..........when I explained the situation to the doc's office, they said it was a good decision. So I'm okay with it. So waiting another week.........I have my guiding light to carry me through (my faith) And I'm Catholic, too. But I've been watching church via the internet (it's the church that my son attends and it's in another town). The pastor preaches just what I need to hear (every week) I was getting a little frustrated by the Catholic church that I was attending, so needed a break and God sent me to this other church and I've been there a couple of times when I visit my son.
Yes, I did wake up in the middle of the night, feeling a litle nauseous. So I ate crackers and drank Sprite all day yesterday, but ate soup last night. I guess I will find out tomorrow what the problem is with my stomach. Could be the HP acting up. Hopefully the antibiotics will get rid of it.
Hey, BTW. my gastro doc said that nine out of ten people that have the colonoscopies done MIGHT have a polyp. Not a big deal. In fact, two ladies that work in his office said they have had this done several times........and not a big deal. That's what happens to people over 50..they have to start getting all of these tests done to promote longevity and sometimes on track for a helathier lifestyle. And I have several friends that have had it done and had a few. Then they went back in three years and there were none. So don't freak out too much if they find one. It's good to get them out before they develop into something else. Lots of people are walking around with them and don't even know that they have them.
You have never met any of this on this blog, but I'm sure that I speak for the others as well as myself. Go in tomorrow with a positive attitude, kiss your wife and get it over with. That's probably the best advice I can give you at this point.
My colleague just sent me a text and it's so powerful that I wanted to share it with all you guys:
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS, IT'S ABOUT LEARNING TO DANCE IN THE RAIN!!! SO TRUE.
Hope to hear from you before tomorrow...........oh, hope that you're enjoying your time off from work. Some of us get very little of it..
athleet, I guess I didn't share my whole story with you. 3 years ago I had an emergency appendectomy. I was a little scared because I had never had surgery before and never had anesthesia and wasn't sure how I'd react to it. My mom has a bad reation to anesthesia. God was so good though. He sent me a Christian doctor who was just so kind and gentle and reassuring. I did great in the surgery and then they told me that the Cat Scan they did right before the surgery (that showed them my inflamed appendix) also showed a small mass in my small intestine near the Terminal Illeum. The doctor wanted to go ahead and take it out then to see what it was. He acted more concerned than I was! I told him no, I felt fine and we could just watch it. He agreed. He tried to do a colonoscopy to get to it and it was too thickened in that area and he couldn't get a scope through to get a biopsy. We agreed that I would continue to get Cat Scans done periodically to watch the mass and see if it grew. We did this for a year. It never grew so we figured it wasn't anything to worry about so we stopped doing the Cat Scans. Then last spring I began having stomach pains off and on. I figured it was just something I was eating and tried to remember what I had eaten. It would just come and go. Finally I went in and they said I had H.Pylori. I got on the antibiotics and did seem better for a few weeks and then the stomach pains came back. One night it was really bad and I could only lay in bed curled up in pain waiting for it to pass. Then I was ok. Finally this summer my parents were here visiting and on the last night before they left, I was again in such pain, even worse than before, that I could only stay curled up in pain with nausea coming in waves. I told my husband something wasn't right and he took me to the ER. I had a Cat Scan done and they came in and told me that in comparing this Cat Scan to the one I had 3 years ago, that the mass had grown and that was probably why I was having the pain because even though I wasn't fully blocked, it was enough of a constriction that it slowed things down in that area. I went to see my surgeon and he told me it really needed to come out.
You know what? I really wasn't scared. I asked my mom and dad if they would pray and fast with me the next day and we went to church and just worshiped God and I felt such peace and joy. Yes, joy!! God gave me joy! This is what is called that peace that surpasses understanding. He gives it to us when we seek Him and trust Him. People would say I was crazy, but God gave me peace. I never did think it was cancer. I didn't know what it was but I just knew it wasn't cancer and that God would take care of me. On the way to my consultation with the surgeon just before the surgery, I had my radio turned on to my Christian radio site and was just singing in my car and praising the Lord! It's awesome! I had never really done this before when facing something like this. God gave me such peace and joy that I couldn't understand. The surgery went great, no problems and the best part is I haven't had any stomach pains since then! They cut out the mass and resected my small intestine. They biopsied it and sent to two different labs to get two opinions. They all said it looked like a classic case of Crohns Disease. My surgeon was surprised. He didn't think I had it because I didn't show enough symptoms, but I guess there's different degrees of severity to it. I must have a mild case because the only ulceration they saw was by the mass. So, that's my story!
You'll do fine. Just take one day at a time and give it to God and try and relax. Nothing happens without a reason. God is in control, even when it seems like this world is out of control, God is still in control. He has taught me so much this year! That's just it, He teaches us to rely on Him, He teaches us so much by going through trials. It can make us better people in the long run.
Let us know when they know something, ok? God bless!
The really great thing is that you have a wonderful doctor. God sent you to him and is guiding him with your treatment. That's why you felt so confident and didn't let the situation totally freak you out.
Thanks for you imput!!! All of you that have contributed to this blog are awesome!!!!!
So Smilie, if I have you right, you're getting your endo tomorrow and colon a week from Friday?
Is the prep for the endo different than the colon test?
I've been Catholic my whole life and don't have any other churches that I know of to go to besides Catholic. I would be too uncomfortable to walk into a church of another faith. Yet, I can't seem to have that connection with God that you two have. I mean I pray everyday. I thank him for my blessings and I've thanked him for the medical tests that I've passed so far. I've been talking to him everyday, listening to my bible on CD, reading the passages that April has suggested, but I don't feel him directing my life. I want to find a bible study group to help me learn and understand more. I get confused over some of the conflicting passages such as sinners will feel the wrath of God, and then God forgives those who believe. So which is it? Am I forgiven since I believe? Or will his wrath be a bad result to my test? Ironically as I was flipping movie channels last night I came upon The Nativity just starting. I watched the whole thing and wondered if it was a sign or simply on because of Christmas. Am I looking too hard? I so badly want to feel him in me, his warmth, reassurance, and peace. I have him in my mind, but am struggling to feel him in my heart. When Smilie wrote that she always trusted God, but felt it difficult to fully rely on him in times of desperation, that's where I am right now.
When I was going through my dark depression after my vertigo started, I was thinking that I'd rather die than worry like this. But then I don't want to do that to my children and I want to be in their life as they grow up. Sorry, being too dramatic....pretty sad that a 45 year old man thinks and acts this way huh? I just hope you guys know in your hearts how much you've really helped me. Its been theraputic to log on an read your words. And Smilie, look how long a blog that you've started has grown and lasted!
Smilie, I read that polyps that are 2.5 cm or smaller are not cancerous. My cousin who died of colon cancer had one that was over 5 cm! And he was in a lot of pain. However, even if they find a small one I will still worry. I'll try to remember that most people have them.
No, I'm not enjoying my vacation. Worrying too much. I just want to get tomorrow over with. The hospital just called. I thought they were going to cancel me, but they had a cancellation before me and wanted to move me up. So now I'm getting it over with an hour earlier!
Thanks for the quote. I like it. You guys have given me a lot of quotes and advice that I'm going to try to remember.
April, you mentioned having a Christian doc. I'll never forget one of my last doctors for my vertigo had a cross around his neck. When he was done examining me he asked if he can pray with me. I said yes and he held my hand and asked God to give him the wisdom to help me and he ask God to give me the strength to deal with it. It was very powerful. I actually thought I felt something or someone grab my shoulders. I felt so good afterwards even though I still had my vertigo. So I know what you mean in that regards.
Ok, time to pick up my kids from school. I'll log on again later and tomorrow before I go in case anyone has anything to add. I'm sooooooo hungry!
As to your confusion on sinners. God's wrath is on unrepentant sinners who have rejected Him, not believers who struggle with sin. That's a huge difference! His wrath is on the ones who rejected the very one who was sent to save them. He still gives them every opportunity over and over to repent and turn to Him so they can be saved. He said the reason He hasn't returned yet is because He is patient with everyone and wants to give everyone a chance to turn to Him so they can be saved. That should tell you a lot right there. If you turned to Jesus and believe and accepted Him, then you are saved and covered with the blood of Jesus. It covers all your sins. He knows we are human and will struggle with sin. Don't forget, He too was tempted and yet did not sin, so He understands our struggles. All He asks is that we turn to Him and let Him fix everything because we can't. We are saved not by our works but by our faith. That way we can't brag that we saved ourselves. Does that make sense? I think it's a wonderful idea for you to get involved in a Bible study group. Just again, make sure that it is Bible based and that the people aren't judgemental, etc.
BTW, in Jesus time there were no seperate churches. We are the ones who did that. Do you really think when we get to Heaven that God is going to say "Ok, all you Catholics on this side and all you Lutherens on this side and all you Baptists on this side!" Of course not! We all believe in the same God and Jesus as our Savior. It's the churches that try and put that seperation there and it's wrong.
I recommend you check out a website called Christian-Prayers.com. It's a website for Catholics and Protestants to post prayer requests and praise reports. I've been visiting that website for over a year and really enjoy it. I've made some wonderful friends, both Catholic and Protestant. The moderator is really good too about keeping people from abusing the site and fighting, etc.Everyone respects each other. See, we're really not so different after all. God bless.
Don't forget, it takes time to develop a relationship. Remember when you first met your wife? You took time to get to know her and over time you fell in love. It's the same with the Lord. It happens over time. The more time you spend with Him in prayer and reading His word, the more you will get to know Him. Always pray before reading the Word and ask Him to show you that day what He wants you to learn for that day. But remember, it's a process and it happens slowly over time. You have the desire to know Him better and He will honor that. He's already been calling you. We don't come to Him. He goes after us and softens our hearts towards Him and woos us to Him. Some of us resist the calling, others respond. Your heart is already showing that He is calling you. Just take the time to get to know Him. It'll happen little by little. Just like your relationship with your wife, you grew to love her more and more over time. It's the same with the Lord. It's a relationship He wants with you. He is not an impersonal God. Remember how He walked in the Garden with Adam and Eve like friends? Even when they fell and were punished, He still provided for them and already began to put in motion the plan He had to save mankind which was sending His son to defeat Satan and save us from the power of sin and death. What an awesome God we serve! See how much He cares for us!
I agree with April2 about faith and walking into another church. I don't feel that I'm betraying my Catholic church by going somewhere else. I feel you should explore other possibilities and listen to His word no matter where your feet take you; whether it's local or around the world. God is everywhere, no matter what faith you are. If you want to check out this website on Sunday,(it's the one that I watch now unless I'm there for the weekend) it's www.celebrationcovenantchurch.com. It's in Frisco, Texas. Pastor Keith Craft is phenomonal. He's mid 40's and just started his church seven years ago. It is a bible-based church. Wow, the things he's done in a short period of time amazes me.
Well, you're on the homestretch now. In 24 hours it will be over with and you will be back home with your family. Isn't it great to know that there's "no place like home"?
Anyway, just wanted to say that you deserve to take care of yourself. We are all guilty of taking care of others and sometimes forgetting to turn things around and focus on ourselves. I'm guilty of that, too. But this year was the turning point. It's not selfish to look out for your best interests and try to lead a healthy and productive life. You do it for you as well as your family. Taking care of yourself means taking care of the ones you love. It just makes good sense and is the cheapest insurance policy that I know of.
One more thing............we are all so busy and have so much going on around us at all times...try to be still and meditate. I think that once we are "still" we can actually feel God's love and presence. He can't get our attention if we can't hear Him. Try to take a few minutes a day in a quiet place, someplace where you won't be disturbed and just close your eyes and listen............are you hearing God's voice? You just might.
No, I can't believe how long this blog has gotten. There is undoubtedly a common thread among all of us here. It's so spiritualistic, if that's a word. Um........there is a reason we all keep coming back and it's because we are supposed to be here helping each other with His guiding hand.
Let us know how things went..........and as they say, Keep the Faith!!!!!!!
I couldn't move my appointment up after all because my wife can't take me earlier, so it's back to 4:15pm Wednesday central time.
Smilie you're lucky you get to eat the day before. By the time I finally get to eat it will have been almost 48 hours since I've eaten. Goodbye muscle mass that I've worked so hard to gain! But I'll lose it all for a clean bill of health that's for sure.
Thanks to both of you for the wonderful spiritual help. I plan to print it all and take it with me to read in the waiting room....corny I know, but that's how I do things. As far as going to another church, I know it sounds shallow to you, but I'm very well known in my community. It took me a long time to get used to going to my current church without feeling self conscious. It would be a lot harder to start over. Besides until someone here in town recommends a place, I really don't know where else to go.
I realize people are in church to worship and don't care if I'm there or not, but I can't help but feel self conscious about it. I will check out the online suggestions you gave me. Smilie is that Sunday service recorded? Otherwise, what time would I need to log on?
I'm going to take all of your advice as best I can especially taking a moment to feel God's presence. I know he's there, I just can't feel him. But I will keep trying.
I'll check back with you tomorrow before I go to the hospital...I'm soooooooo hungry I hope they let me eat a lot afterwards!