Gastroenterology Community
I feel like I'm going to expire.
About This Community:

This forum is for questions regarding Gastroenterology issues such as Acid Reflux (GERD), Barretts Esophagus, Colitis, Colon/Bowel Disorders, Crohn's Disease, Diverticulitis/ Diverticulosis, Digestive Disorders and Stomach Pain.

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I feel like I'm going to expire.

Hi guys. I'm Lacey, 27 years old. I have a long history with the stomach as Well as the depression and panic attacks. I was sexually abused as a little girl around age 9-10, and that's when my journey began. I went to many psychiatrist and mental health facilities, and doctors. As a kid I was.diagnosed with severe depression anxiety and panic disorders and I went through anger management, as I was a self harmer for a while. Anyway, after a very hard and unfortunate childhood it has now become the same nightmare for my adult life. I thought I had my mental and physical problems under control. After about 5 years of being homeless and addicted to drugs, my husband and myself are finally getting on the right track. I had a job as a retail manager, I was doing really Well until I started having severe episodes of nausea and vomiting, stomach cramps that would have me doubled over, and my job was partial to my being ill so I had to take a leave of absence that has became permanent now. For a week I was violently ill. I'd wake up before the sun came up having these crazy episodes of my stomach feeling like it had hot boiling water rolling inside and feeling like I had to use the bathroom a lot. I lived in the bathroom that entire week, trying to handle going to the hospital in the mornings to get nausea meds and fluids and then off to work I would go. My bowels have turned against me. I struggle with severe constipation and it causes headaches and feelings of being sluggish and tired. So, now I'm at a place of constant fear of what the next moment may bring. My stomach is in constant turmoil. I have GERD which doesn't help my situation either. I feel gitters all the time 24-7, and I have acid come up in my throat and mouth leaving it sore, I can't eat because my food just sits there in the top of my gut and doesn't digest like normal and if intake mirilax every day, or other day I can use it some. When I need to use the restroom I have pains in my stomach , in my rectum and even up in my back. I've had to use enemas and there have been times when I'd be doubled over and screaming for my husband and have him run to the store for enemas and so forth, and by the time he got back, I had used the bathroom. It hurt so bad to use the bathroom that it was darn near like having a baby lol Anyway, I have a lot of through same symptoms as you all, but I suffer from bipolar 1, panic disorder, GERD, as Well as emetephobia which is a phobia fear of the act of or the vomit itself. Mine us more the act of vomiting. Basicly when I throw up, I hypervenilate my blood pressure drops or rises, my heart beats wildly, I cry and shriek and freak out thus bringing on the panic attacks and the panic can bring on the nausea which gets worst with the phobia. As a child I felt vomiting was a punishment from God for.misbehaving. my therapist as a kid wanted to send me out of state for further testing for multiple personality disorder, but our insurance wouldn't cover it so I had to use what treatment I had to better my kids. So currently I an no longer doing self harm, I am taking Wellbutrin for my depression which doesn't help the panic attacks so when my husband's insurance kicks in I will new changing that one. I currently take prevacid 30mg, I keep phenogren and dramamine handy, I also made a lot of changes in what I put into my body. Soda, chocolate,.caffeine all cause anxiety and stomach problems be it acid nausea or actually vomiting. Ive never drank soda but love my chocolate. I dont eat fries, deep fried, spicy or spiced foods. No tomatoes, no chilli, ans have to be careful what fruits i take in as they are acid as well. I gained a lot of weight during a hard time. See right before my problems all flared up i was soing home health care for my grandmother ahom had dimentia (dementia). My sister had suffered addction as well and had a car accident and lost her eye and her kids and then went to prison so she and i were caring for our gmother when she was released from prison. Well, my gradfather was also incarcerated and was released. He found out he had luekemia and passed away not long after his release. Then I had a cousin go missing and they found his body after a week in a local lake. He was murdered. Then my dearest grandmother passed tired weeks after my sisters 31st birthday. Well, a week after my birthday on September 22nd, I was at work doing inventory and had a family emergency phone call. My neither was the voice on the other end telling me to sit down. Once I did, he informed me that they had just found my sister dead on her couch. I fell to my knees, I got sick, I got angry. This was 5 days after my bday and a week before our dad's bday. So my life changed dramaticly and my sisters two kids as Well. I still have a hard time accepting that She's gone and it's been two years on September this year. So my problems have been mental and physical and combined in hell to work against me to destroy my life. It's hard when you feel this way I know. I don't leave my house out of fear of panic attacks, throwing up in public or catching a germ and getting sick and all i have right now to keep me pushing is my 3 cats. I rescued a bobtail and didnt know she was pregnant and got rid of all but two so now we have two calico bobtail girls and a solid black mini jaguire male with a tail. I had my last one fixed yesterday. Keeping busy almost tricks your pani into feeling no longer needed. My advice, study up on the panic and anxiety so you understand it and get many tips on how to cope and getting healthy. Health starts from the inside out and what you out into your car for fuel and oil determines how it runs, and its the same with our.bodies. eat healthy get plenty of rest on top of excersize. This will help you get on the right track to feeling better. I am still struggling but these tips were given to me in my worst time and i still have a long road ahead of me however i have started to feel better. Acid reflux is common in people with anxiety and panic. Its actually a symptom of it. My symptoms are-nausea, vomiting, constipation, panic attacks to the point of shaking, sweating heart palps., imense fear of not sure what, my hair is falling out, i have acne, and hamd eczema which is brought on ny nerves and stress. Stress is terrible on our bodies. I wish you all the best and if u need more tips or have any questions about what helped me my email is ***@**** good luck to u all and i understand what youre going thru and you will get better. Be strong and pray.
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