Severe Lower Right Abdominal Pain, Can't eat, Constipation - Advice??

Hello, I am a 41 year old female and I am looking and searching for answers and came across this forum that I am hoping someone can help or provide advice.  

I have had several surgeries over the past few years - c-section (1997), gallbladder removal and hysterectomy (2008)and then last year (Dec 2010) a resection rectopexy for rectal prolapse.  

Over the last few months, I have been developing pain in my right lower abdomen.  Over the last two months, it has become extremely severe and debilitating.  It also goes around to my lower back.  I have urine retention problems (I am seeing an urologist and until my urodynamics test, have to self cather myself 4-6X/day).  But, this does NOT relieve the pain - unusually, it seems to bring it on more.

When I first had the pain, I went to my OB and he did a pelvic exam and ultrasound and said all was good with my ovaries.  Then, I went to my internist who thought it might be appendicitis so took a trip to the ER to find it was not appendicitis.  The cat scan showed some minor cysts on my kidneys, but then also a "mixed density bilobed structure in the right lower quadrant) - my internist said that basically means an unidentifiable mass or blur of "something".  After talking further, he referred me to a general surgeon.  I saw the surgen today to discuss laparoscopic surgery, but he seems very hesitant.  

I am in such pain and distress that I have not been able to work (I am now out on disability as of this week).  I cannot eat (causes too much pain and I have lost over 15 pounds over the past month) and I was in the ER last week because the pain was so bad.  I am also very nauseous.

I have had issues (digestive) for the last 5 years where doctors told me I had IBS, eat more fiber, etc., and that I would be okay to find out that I had a gallbladder disfunction and then the prolapse.  I have had every test known to man (cat scan, mri, ultrasound, xray, bloodwork, urinalysis, proctogram, cystoscopy, small bowel series) and cannot go on like this.  

If anyone else has experienced this, I would greatly appreciate your advice or suggestions!