it just wont stop!

so this has been going on for 5 years and i have had it. im to a point i literally would rather have my intestines out and use a poop bag then have to live this way.
my stomach is not right i know it is not normal to feel this way. my whole life revolves around my stomach. i have to wake up two hours before work in the morning so that i have time to sit still and let my body poop. seriously. if i dont do that, my body wont poop that day. once i go, i usually have a feeling like i didnt poop enough, so i have to sit a little while longer and wait till i have to go again, then i go. even though i am pooping, im still feeling like im not getting it all out. so then i go to work, still bloated (when i wake up in the morning i feel like absoluite ****, bloated, belly distended, and i feel like ih ave to go poop. but i cant unless i sit and let my body relax. its weird.)
then at work all day i feel really gassy and bloated. i forgot what it feels like to be hungry because i am always so bloated. i can feel stuff moving around inside, if i sit in a different position it will move, its weird. i feel like i have to poop all day long. andi  cant. its like my butthole wont let it come out. i cant explain it. by the time im done with work, im more exhausted from feeling so crappy all day then i am from working. its more comfortable to sit, reclines a little, then to stand or walk. i constantly have this feeling and have had it for 5 years. i dont even know how to explain it to doctors, but i have had numerous tests done.  ihave tried laxatives and the same thing, i can only poop in the morning if i relax enough to, and then i will just feel like i have to for the rest of the day and not be able to. when i go to bed i can feel all the air or **** thats in my stomach move around. its so uncomfortable. i want to be able to just wake up in the morning and go, without having to revolve my whole life around this. no one knows what it is, and i have done everything i can think of. fiber, acidophilis, flax oil, working out, i mean everything. i usually dont feel like doing anything ever because my stomach is so bloated and i feel like pooping so much and its taking my life away. i was thinking maybe i have a lazy colon and i should get some kind of surgery. i have done so many searches onlien and i cant find anything with the symptoms i have. please someone please tell me anything! i will do anything to just be normal and not have my bowels ruin my life anymore.