Fear of seeing new doctor

[Nat_16]

I have just been given a referal to see a specialist who I have never seen before, but have heard good things about.   About 12 months ago, I was refered to a seperate specialist and he was horrible, rude, arrogant, nasty and self absorbed.  He was so nasty to me in the consultation I ended up in tears and never went back.

This is the first time I have been refered to a specialist since this experience and I am terrified!!!  Even though I have heard good things about this doctor I have to go see, I cant help remember what happened at my last experience.

It seems silly to me to be so scared of a doctors appointment but the last specislist I was refered to was horrible!!!  It's also only an endo for my thyroid problems so it's not like its going to be an invasive consultation.

is there anything i can do so I wont be so terrified for the appointment??  

[yallolorry]

ha! and I bet your dad's no shrinking violet! sounds like this doctor might really benefit from some feedback! either way, I hope you can put it behind you.

[Nat_16]

Thank you both for replying.  

Sassylassy - I know the majority of doctors are good, I've heard good things about this doctor so he is probably going to be a really good caring doctor.  It is re-assuring that other people I know have had good experiences with him.  

Yallolorry - Thank you so much for your suggestion of the letter!  I'll definately try it!!  I thought he might have only made me cry becuase I was so hypo (and at that point undiagnosed) but not long after my dad (who went to the appointment with me) said how much of a rude doctor he was and my dad commented on his lack of bedside manner.  

[yallolorry]

I wonder if you whether you could do something to heal your memory of that awful experience with the other doctor. We all  live our lives a little bit tied to the past and what has happenned to us before, but it's good to remember that actuallly the past is just the past and the things that happened just happened, because they happened in the past doesn't mean they will happen again. that's just how human beings brains work, we try and make sense of the world by applying past experience all the time to everything we come across. And that can be a great coping mechanism, saving us to have to repeat all manner of unpleasant experiences that might harm us, but equally, it can trip us up, because we try and make connections between past and present / future...that aren't actually valid. You know logically that just because the past doctor was a jerk and made you cry that doesnt mean the new doctor will be the same, but still you're afraid...very natural.

here's a practical suggestion.

Thnk about the other doctor as a human being who is trying to do his best in life but really let you down and didn't do a good job in his dealings with you. Most people don't mean anyone ill, they are just a bit clumsy in the way they go about stuff and can upset others without even realising they are having that impact. That doctor was just inadequate in his communication skills, not a bad man,  probably, just rubbish at the soft side of doctoring, dealing with a scared and poorly young girl. Remember also that when we are hypo we can be super sensitive, he might not actually have been as bad as he seemed! But that doesn't matter because his manner had the impact on you that it did. Write him a letter explaining how that last appointment was for you and the impact it had on you. You don't need to send it, it's entirely your choice whether you do or not. But you might find writing down what happened and how it  made you feel is cathartic, maybe you have someone you can trust that you could read it to, something about stating stuff clearly, particularly if you can maintain a generosity of spirit towards the other person, is just very healing. Let me know if you try it.

you're a great girl, on an amazing journey. I'm sure this new appointment will go really well for you. pay attention to everything that's happening to you right now and keep sharing about it. it's makiing you even more incredible and wise than you already are.  

love and light

[SassyLassie]

Hello Nat~I can understand your fear. Try to remember however, that most doctors are not like the one that upset you. The truly good ones DO care about their patients and will work with them.

I can usually tell if they are going to be good or not the first few minutes I am talking to them, if I do not like them, I just do not go back.

[Nat_16]

Thanks, this dr i saw last year who drove me to tears in the first 5 mins of the consultation was worse than a bad bedside manner, he was horrible!!

But i am trying to remember not all doctors are that harsh...it's just getting that to be front of mind rather than past bad experiences - thats the hard bit!!!

[blugeanie]

Oh now i see well do not be  do not let the fear control you it should be fine ..some doctors have a bad bedside manner but not all

[Nat_16]

It's not the individual dr, I've heard great things about the guy I'm seeing, its just from past experience I'm anxious about seeing any new dr because a dr was so nasty to me in the past.

[blugeanie]

well tell other doctor who refered you  tell him you are not comfortable with the doctor he refered you to tell him refer another...he should be able too remember your hiring them and they must treat you good if not happy get a new one easy as that ..you have a right as a patiant