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I'm A Mess - Emotionally and Physically - Overcoming Fear of Medical Treatment
For the past 5 years I have been dodging doctors to the best of my ability due to a fear of needles / medical procedures. In addition there is a deep fear of simply finding out "somethings wrong". I already know I have high blood pressure which I do my best to control with diet and exercise but I still need help.
I had a doctor for 10 years that I called my primary care physician but really only saw him a handful of times. I just turned 30 and have high blood pressure and an insane amount of anxiety (thus I'm posting my worries on the Internet). My fear of doctors cause me to cancel an appointment 5 years ago and never return due to the fear of being blood tested.
My doctor knew of my fear but never offered anything besides a mild relaxant to help me through it. Every day for the past 5 years I've worried and prayed and tortured myself making my physical and mental health diminish.
I managed to contact a Psychologist about my issue and we had about 5 sessions to deal specifically with my needle phobia. Through this plus independent study and working on my issue at home with some diabetic needles I know am much more comfortable with the thought of having blood drawn. This is a huge step and kind of makes me laugh at the torture I have put myself through for the past 5 years.
I'm now dealing with some minor creeks and pains that I really should get looked into and I'm trying to figure out my next step.
Since I "ditched" my appointment set by my doctor 5 years ago I feel like it would be a bad idea to try and go back to him. First of all I imagine that he will see the chart and be frustrated that I did this. In addition I was always kind of frustrated with him for not taking my anxiety / phobia seriously and sending me out right then and there for some mental health assistance.
To get to my point I'll ask this question. In a perfect world are you supposed to feel like a friend with your doctor? Are you supposed to feel like "they've got your back?". If your doctor knew that you had an irrational reaction to the thought of something like a needle or rectal exam how would they react to you?
I'm overcoming a huge part of my phobia and am prepared to go to the doctor regular and have yearly blood tests and whatnot if needed. I'm still struggling with my fear of learning of a terminal condition and my inability to trust my provider and it's a very uncomfortable place to be in.
I had a doctor for 10 years that I called my primary care physician but really only saw him a handful of times. I just turned 30 and have high blood pressure and an insane amount of anxiety (thus I'm posting my worries on the Internet). My fear of doctors cause me to cancel an appointment 5 years ago and never return due to the fear of being blood tested.
My doctor knew of my fear but never offered anything besides a mild relaxant to help me through it. Every day for the past 5 years I've worried and prayed and tortured myself making my physical and mental health diminish.
I managed to contact a Psychologist about my issue and we had about 5 sessions to deal specifically with my needle phobia. Through this plus independent study and working on my issue at home with some diabetic needles I know am much more comfortable with the thought of having blood drawn. This is a huge step and kind of makes me laugh at the torture I have put myself through for the past 5 years.
I'm now dealing with some minor creeks and pains that I really should get looked into and I'm trying to figure out my next step.
Since I "ditched" my appointment set by my doctor 5 years ago I feel like it would be a bad idea to try and go back to him. First of all I imagine that he will see the chart and be frustrated that I did this. In addition I was always kind of frustrated with him for not taking my anxiety / phobia seriously and sending me out right then and there for some mental health assistance.
To get to my point I'll ask this question. In a perfect world are you supposed to feel like a friend with your doctor? Are you supposed to feel like "they've got your back?". If your doctor knew that you had an irrational reaction to the thought of something like a needle or rectal exam how would they react to you?
I'm overcoming a huge part of my phobia and am prepared to go to the doctor regular and have yearly blood tests and whatnot if needed. I'm still struggling with my fear of learning of a terminal condition and my inability to trust my provider and it's a very uncomfortable place to be in.
Thanks to the both of you for taking time to respond. It's very difficult to find the right one. I've polled a few friends and have a few leads so hopefully I will be able to narrow it down.
Anxiety is terrible!
Anxiety is terrible!
Just to say that there are some decent Dr.'s out there, I have one. She is wonderful. I can talk about anything with her and feel at ease. I had to go through some others before I found her, so keep looking and you will find the right Dr.!!! Best wishes!
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way off the beaten track!, BC
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I think you really know you need a new doctor. You have to have someone you are comfortable with. He is taking care of your LIFE after all. There are some decent doctors out there (albeit rare imo). Good luck.