It's been 4 years today since my mom passed away.
As if it weren't enough to mourn the loss of my mom, I'm also mourning the loss of my dad who died only 9 months before my mom. He just suddenly collapsed one day, and even though the paramedics were able to "bring him back", he stayed in a coma for 3 weeks and then we lost him.
I'm also mourning the loss of my twins who were born premature 26 years ago. They were born on August 24, 1983. One died on the 25th, and the other died on the 26th. And then, 22 years later, I lose my mom on August 26.
It's only been 4 years and it feels like it's been 40. And every year since her death I dread this day; this whole week actually. My mom died of lung cancer, and I was with her when she passed away and also in the days leading up to her death, so the whole week I am overcome with memories of that time.
My question, or problem, is this: my husband, who tries so hard to be supportive bless his heart, can't understand why I "mark" this anniversary, so to speak. He wonders why I don't celebrate her life instead of "making a big deal" over the date of her death. He was close to her too; closer than he is to his own mother. But even he acknowledges that he can't really understand how I feel.
I feel like I don't have anyone I can talk to about this. My two children (born after my twins) are very wrapped up in their own lives, and couldn't understand or cope with how I feel even if they wanted to. I even try to hide that I'm crying from my family because I know they would prefer it if I just "got over it".
On top of everything else, my daughter, who is 24, moved away to Florida a couple of months ago (I'm in Idaho), and she didn't say goodbye or tell us she was leaving. So I'm trying to deal with that too...and it's really taking a toll on me.
I'm so glad I found this forum because I feel I really don't have anyone else I can talk to about all of this.