Finding it hard to cope with losing mum

[cazanne64]

I lost my mum in Feb this year, 1week after her birthday. She had been in a nursing home for some time after a bad fall last year. She spent a long time in hospital, during which we thought we were going to lose her, but she hung on. She deteorated though and didn't always know who we were. Just before her birthday this year the nursing home got the Norovirus, so we couldn't go in and see her. Unfortunately my mum, who had Parkinsons and Diabetes got it to and was rushed to hospital. 6 days later on 27th Feb she passed away. I have found it really hard coping with the fact that I couldn't be with her before she went, and mothers day was 2 weeks later and really hard. She and dad had been married for 60 years, we had a lovely |Diamond celebration for them last year. She died 2 weeks before their 61st.
After a lot of initial crying, I don't seem to be able to cry properly, I always reign it in. It all feels so surreal, I wonder sometimes if I'm just being soppy and should just 'get on with it' as some people seem to think. I had started to get a little better but then last week we spread her ashes and it all came back and I am depressed all over again. All I want is one of my mums wonderful hugs, and I can't have it. How long before it all starts feeling better?

[mammo]

I know how you feel, I lost my 31 year old son and never got to hold him, and tell him I loved him.  Try to dwell on the fact that your mother had a wonderful long life with the man and children she loved.  She knows you loved her, she truly does, we as moms know this. Ignore those who feel you should just "get on with it" it's not that easy.  Your mother is a great loss, and a difficult one to endure.  Don't hold back your tears, cry. be angry just get those emotions out.  Maybe you should see a psychiatrist for help in coping at this point, I had to with my son.  You may have slipped into a depression which is understandable with this kind of loss. Some things are just too big to handle on our own, the two of you can decide what treatment is best for you. More than anything in this world, your mother would want you to be happy. Write down your feelings and even all the good memories of your mother.  Journaling is very good therapy,  putting our feelings and thoughts in writing is very helpful. I lost both my parents in a car accident when I was 25, then my son and grandson.  I can tell you it gets easier, but I don't know how or why.  There will always be those times when you will think of your mother and smile, other times you'll cry, and this is okay. We must do whatever we feel will get us through.  She knows how much you love her, let her live on in you, your smile, your laughter, and your tears.  Your father needs you more now than ever, he has lost his best friend.  I wish you all the best.  Big hugs and take care.

[lucasjr]

death is the one thing we all must face, and cannot exscape, it is a natural occurance. What i suggest you do is find a hobbie, or something to get your mind off sertain things. I personally suggest religion, others, biking, school, and numerous things, its something you would just have to learn to accept, as all. If you just keep a positive outlook on life, you'll be fine