Going through depression... all my family is going through....

This is my first time here well..., I lost my grandma in October 2010 and now it's February 2012 but still can't forget her.... She was my last grandparent but then she also left me and my family....Now I don't have any grandparent.... My mom and I are both deeply moved by it... We both, well actually my whole family but particularly my mom and me used to be SOOO like happy-go-lucky despite our other problems, we used to be SO always happy, well kind of, but now we both just can't even laugh or smile properly, I mean our laugh and smile all is incomplete.... we both feel SOOOO incomplete.... I just can't put it through words....

[mammo]

I'm very sorry for your loss, I know this has left a big void in both your lives.  You both need to realize that your grandmother would want you both to continue the laughter and live a happy life.  Let her shine through both of you, and show the world what a wonderful woman she was to have had such a happy and loving daughter and granddaughter.  If you and your mom haven't discussed the emptiness you both feel...you should.  It may be the elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about.  Journaling your memories, feelings and emotions is very therapeutic for us...it's a form of release.  Write about who and what she was, and all the good times.  You both may also benefit from therapy to learn how to best cope with your loss. Your grandmother wants you both to be happy so she can be as well.
I hope this helps and wish you both all the best.  Hugs to you both.

[mammo]

I'm very sorry for your loss, I know this has left a big void in both your lives.  You both need to realize that your grandmother would want you both to continue the laughter and live a happy life.  Let her shine through both of you, and show the world what a wonderful woman she was to have had such a happy and loving daughter and granddaughter.  If you and your mom haven't discussed the emptiness you both feel...you should.  It may be the elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about.  Journaling your memories, feelings and emotions is very therapeutic for us...it's a form of release.  Write about who and what she was, and all the good times.  You both may also benefit from therapy to learn how to best cope with your loss. Your grandmother wants you both to be happy so she can be as well.
I hope this helps and wish you both all the best.  Hugs to you both.

[Smiley1247]

Thanks very very much for your concern and response!
I & my mom, both we laugh and smile A LOT and people say we do laugh and smile a lot but our eyes are always sad and lonely... It's kind of a reflex for both of us; we already had other big problems (personal family issues... prefer not to tell anybody) and she always would lock herself in her room and there she'll cry but in front of us all, she's always cheering us up so I've learnt this from her... Always cheering everyone up and laughing ourselves as well as making others laugh - that's as normal as breathing and as normal as a reflex action for both of us.....
Even other thing about us in the category of recovering and being happy, is same - we both write - we both express our feelings and thoughts through writing and let me tell u - I and my mom are GREAT writers - really I could post some of my work here but I don't think this is a nice place to post so i have some websites where I've posted some of my work....
I have actually selected writing as my proffession... I always was good at writing at school too and I already started writing before and it was good....

[gadfly850]

you G mom had a good life
and lived longer than many people

be grateful for that.