Grief- Is this a common reaction?

[grungema3]

Hi, all
My darling Mum passsed away Jan2011. The anniversary date is approaching asnd I feel so very depressed. Now, yesterday, we had news that my mother-in-law passed suddenly and unexpectedly-  massive heart attack. I don't feel right enough to look after myself and now, somehow, I have to look after my husband. He is devastated.
During the year I've been up and down but still feel like my Mum's taken a vital organ with her, there's such an emptiness.
I feel as if the world has gone mad.

[garrettandelsasmom]

I'm so, so sorry!  That's a tremendous amount of loss in a short period of time.  Mothers play such a profound role in our lives.

Can you do something special to honor your mother around the anniversary of her passing?  We've done that with several significant losses and it is both a comfort to know we're honoring the loved one and helpful because the planning and execution of the event keeps us engaged in life.

How were the holidays for you and your husband?  I'm sure it was especially poignant this year with his mother's recent passing.  Thinking of you!

[mammo]

I'm so sorry about your mom.  This is such a big loss as we think mom will always be here.  You and your husband should be able to comfort each other right now.  I'm sure he has a much better understanding of what the past year has been like for you now.  As a mother myself I can tell you that what your mother wants most is for you to be happy.  You have to carry on so she can live on in you and allow people to see what a wonderful job she did raising you...what a great tribute to her! She wants to see you happy and not sad.  If you haven't sought help with dealing with your loss, you should look into it.  It will benefit you so much.  I do understand, I lost both my parents in a car accident when I was 25......couldn't imagine life going on.  I lived an honorable life to make them proud.  I also journaled all my feelings and emotions which has proven to be very therapeutic for us.  Later in life I lost my son and grandson, and all these anniversaries are heart wrenching for me.  But we need to keep going.  It's normal to feel depressed so close to the anniversary especially with the holidays upon us.  You and your husband find comfort in each other and work through your losses together.  Big hugs and take care.