Grief over sudden loss of husband

[Champ56]

My husband of 26 years passed away unexpectedly at age 56 on 01-13-17.  I left for work kissed him bye and I never saw him again.  He went to look at a job in a rural area and apparently had a heart attack.  He had no health issues, no heart problems we were aware of. I found him by using the "find my iPhone" app.  When he never came home the next morning I contacted the authorities.   I am beyond grieving. Our grown daughters are hurting, granddaughters range from 18 to 3.  The 3year old asks constantly for Papa and I just tell her Papa gone bye-bye.  It just breaks my heart but I don't think she's old enough to understand Heaven.  I am employed in a position of tremendous authority and they depend/expect me to perform.  I have to work, there was no huge life insurance or anything.  My question is when will I be able to look at a picture of him, hear a song, go through a day that I'm not crying and feeling so alone.  I think I was in shock at first but as time goes on and everyone around me has gone on with their lives I'm having a difficult time. I don't like to talk about it because I start the ugly face crying.  Will it always be this way for me? I am 61 years old can hardly remember my life without him.  Will I grieve forever and die lonley and alone?

[AnnieBrooke]

Everyone grieves at their own pace, but when his wife died, the grief counselor told my dad was it takes 2 years, the first year being in "survival" and the second year for more deep grieving.  I wouldn't expect to stop crying after only two months.  See a grief counselor and since you need to be functional at work, get your doctor to prescribe an antidepressant ... your life won't stop sucking, but at least you won't be crying all the time.  You will probably only need it for a short time but it helps.