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Is counselling the answer?

My darling Dad passed away in 2000, he had a terrible death as he caught mrsa while in hospital, visited every day during the 6 and a half weeks that he tried to stay with us, the memory has never left my mind. My Mother was left alone after 60 years of marriage and steadily became a shell of her former self, she eventually had to go into a nursing home with dementia just before Christmas 2008, it was a terrible time for me and my two sisters dealing with the guilt and grief of already losing a Mum who didn't know who we were anymore, she caught pnemonia in the home and died February 29th 2009 in the same hospital as my Dad, we were comforted in part to know she was back with our Dad who she cried for every day but becoming orphans was hard to deal with, then in June this year my husbands Dad passed away from cancer at the same time I was dealing with a breast lump and had to have two biopsys, I kept this to myself as I didn't want to burden my husband during the sad time of losing his Dad and as he was the eldest child we had the funeral to arrange and he now has a Mum who has been left alone after many years of marriage. I found that I was becoming more and more 'distant' from the pain of loss and realised that I was even finding it hard to be happy anymore, I can't remember the last time I laughed or felt really happy, although I have many reasons to be, I feel like I have had an emotion by pass or something. Last Monday my dear Sister, my second Mum, had a stroke and died in the same hospital on Thursday, its her funeral tommorow. I am dreading it so much. I miss her so much, she is a link to my parents that has gone forever, she was 69.  I wonder if I should seek out some counselling to help me with my emotional break down or will it all come right again in the end? I feel like a clock is ticking and I am forever waiting for the next blow.
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Avatar universal
Wow....hard times....it hurts and hurts a lot.

Lost my mom and dad 4 months apart back in 2000-2001...daddy in Sept 2000, mom in Jan 2001....life has neve been the same.  However, life is good....it will take a lot of time...you seem to have so many emotions building up inside and so much pain and heartache that you are developing a shell around yourself...you need to feel it and not be afraid of it...you need to let the waters flow....I definitely believe in counseling...both one on one counseling and I truly LOVED grief counseling in a group (mine for adult children who have lost a parent)....It saved my life...without feeling the comradary with others and being able to cry and having those around me feeling the same at the SAME time, meant so much...no one understands it until they are experiencing it..It will get better, with, lots of time, and work...you cannot sit idly by...you need to take the steps to feel your feelings.  I wish you the best and the peace you need at this very very difficult time...so sorry for all your losses.
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Avatar universal
Hi do you watch youtube ? Here are 2 video I uploaded about after death visitations

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4ak1KpNH9A

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrG38cUieAA

Documentary by BBC on near death experiences , one of the best ever made , part 1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_I9-XxBAEsQ

then find part 2,3 and son on . total 6 parts . I know you will find some comfort . and dont be alone . when depressed always be around people .

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Avatar universal
councelling takes some time but its worth the time and money spent , what it does is brings painful memories to the surface so you finally let go of them and become free again , like when you were a kid of five years of age , when you were worryfree and lived in the now . one affirmation that works for anxiety is tell yourself over and over again "that is past , forget the past" and imagine a white light blocking it from reaching the present and taking it far way and then say "try to live in now , for now is peaceful , peace is in now , live in now , try to live in now , live in now " ... repeat this and see what happens
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Avatar universal
yes it is the answer , it was invented in the first place to heal us emotionally , cognitive behavior therapy , it does not deal with the past but helps us understand our present situation from a third angle and empowers how to deal with it so that you don't feel that all the burden of the world is on your delicate shoulders . when a therapist shows you sympathy , then you start trusting her and open up to her and discuss what happened to you in a safe enviroment , remember it is ok to feel pain , anger and frustration , society has taught us that these emotions are not healthy and should not be openly expressed but the more your supress it the more emotional pain , diseases in the body will manifest . There are good drugs out there for depression but combined with talk therapy , supplements , exercise , and positive thinking then it works the best . you have to attack the enemy from all sides . in the fight of life if you give up and lay down your weapons , no we should never do that , if we fight then there is at least a chance that we will win . send me a private message and let me whats really bothering you , that is the bottom line , I feel like you feel you're going to destroy your life but this is not the end of the world , when God send man here , with problems he also bundled up the solutions . Out of six billion people on earth there are many who have had horrible horrible things done to them that you wouldn't even imagine . Do you believe in God ? A higher power despite of all this that happened to you? Have you ever heard about near death experiences ? there is this one cool web site www.near-death.com  ,  unless we seek the answers of life in death then how shall we find it in life ? Death is peaceful as opposed to life .


yes it is the answer , it was invented in the first place to heal us emotionally , cognitive behavior therapy , it does not deal with the past but helps us understand our present situation from a third angle and empowers how to deal with it so that you don't feel that all the burden of the world is on your delicate shoulders . when a therapist shows you sympathy , then you start trusting her and open up to her and discuss what happened to you in a safe enviroment , remember it is ok to feel pain , anger and frustration , society has taught us that these emotions are not healthy and should not be openly expressed but the more your supress it the more emotional pain , diseases in the body will manifest . There are good drugs out there for depression but combined with talk therapy , supplements , exercise , and positive thinking then it works the best . you have to attack the enemy from all sides . in the fight of life if you give up and lay down your weapons , no we should never do that , if we fight then there is at least a chance that we will win . send me a private message and let me whats really bothering you , that is the bottom line , I feel like you feel you're going to destroy your life but this is not the end of the world , when God send man here , with problems he also bundled up the solutions . Out of six billion people on earth there are many who have had horrible horrible things done to them that you wouldn't even imagine . Do you believe in God ? A higher power despite of all this that happened to you? Have you ever heard about near death experiences ? there is this one cool web site www.near-death.com  ,  unless we seek answers of life in death then how shall we find it in life ? to know death is to become fearless and when you are not afraid of death then you are not afraid of living . Death is peaceful as opposed to life . At some time in your life you have to come to grips with the fact that some questions make no sense but people who have had near death experiences tell us otherwise . cant give you the true answer.... I can only give you my thought on it but I have no doubt that we survive death and the only way to go through what you're going through is through spiritual strength and knowledge .

Then how could we find peace, If we would be challenged?
There doesn't have to be a meaning at all!
It's we who give meaning to matters.
Not every effect had a cause.
A few things that happen, happen for a reason.
And there are so many things that are meaningless.
Unless we decide to make them otherwise.

We as your friends will be always there for you and you can turn to us anytime . I love you as a child of God and I am here to remind you that everything is going to be ok . Please visit that website and research the phenomena . There are tons of self help books out there . You can't change the past , whatever had to happened had happened , it matters how you deal with it NOW in the present , that's only what really matters . Hope you found some peace .... pray to God and ask him for strength and guidance . Psychics tell us that we have spirit guides with us all the time who know everything about us and are our best friend always willing to help us if we let them too . As Lord Jesus said ask and you shall receive .... desire for peace only , only peace........God bless - John

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Don't think something else bad will happen,you can actually will bad things to happen.Try to think positively and pray to God to help you feel happy again.Your loved one's are with you spiritually,not physically.They all want you happy,it hurts your loved one's to see you depressed.Everything happens for a reason.Pain teaches us life lessons and empathy.This life teaches us our real purpose in heaven.Every tragedy is a learning experience.I've had tons of bad things happen to me.My Mom married an evil man,we had a bad life,stress I believe from her divorce led to her cancer.She passed in mid August,a month before her father passed.When I was in LA taking care of my Mom in the hospital, my cat I had from 15 passed a couple days before her.Then my bird I had for 6 years passed.I know pets aren't as important as people,but they were my comfort,like my kids.God blessed me with a son,I wasn't supposed to be able to have kids.I believe God takes away,then gives us someone to replace what we have lost.My son is now 6,without him I couldn't have got through my Mom's passing.I'm still not over it by a long shot.Think of the blessings you still have in your life! I only know how to write what I feel,I hope this was helpful.Write in a journal to God,your loved one's,don't be afraid to reach out to anyone.A big hug to you! God bless,Jen
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