Losing my dad all over again

[missmaryardene]

My dad died three year ago. He was paralyzed from the waist down because he was hit by a drunk driver. He was left with a torn aorta and paralyzed. He had complications from the wreck all through out his life. He had everything from osteomilitis to kidney failure. I spent my child hood in the hospital with him and became his nurse because he wouldnt let the nurses touch him. At age five I learned how to do his IV. I was his daughter, best friend, and life saver. It was always me and my dad. My mom left when I was five came back when I was eight then left for good when I was 11. I chose to live with my dad. He died in our living room in front of me holding my hand. I was doing better with his death until April 28. My grandma died in April. She was the only thing I had left of my dad and when she passed away it was like losing him all over again. As she was dying she was holding my hand and she said i love you and then she said oh bradley i havent seen you for a while i have missed you lets take care of mary. Bradley is my dad's name. My grandma was like a mom to me. My dad's side of the family is gone now. My mom doesnt talk to me and neither do any of her other relatives. So I am my only family. I just do not know how to get through the loss of my nana because it is like a double whammy and im grieving for my father all over again and I am grieving for her at the same time. I am a recovering drug addict and have been sober for 3 years and my grieve is starting to consume me and my grief is not helping my eating disorder either. My boyfriend is being amazing but alot is going on. I have to go to court in August about the estate. I had to plan my nana's funeral just like I did my dad's and on top of it my dad's birthday is coming up and my nana and I always spent the day together. I need some advice and opinions please!!!!!!!!!!!

[missmaryardene]

Thank you! I know they are but it is just really hard because my family is gone. the only family i have left is my mom and her side of the family and we do not talk. so its hard but im hanging in there.

[Neta100]

I am glad I was able to help out.  They may be gone physically, but they will live in your heart forever and they will be looking out for you.

Best wishes,

Neta

[missmaryardene]

thank you for your advice, support, and condolences. I knew I was blessed but I never thought that they were blessed as well. you put my grief into a new perspective for me. thank you!!!!!

[Neta100]

Losing a loved one can be tough, but cherishing his/her memories and keeping him/her in your heart will help you go on.  Take one day at a time and if you want to cry, do so.  Grieving is different for everyone, but keep in mind that even when your dad and your nana are gone, you have two angels watching over you and that one day you'll meet again.

I lost a dear man who was like a dad to me almost last September and I still miss him.  I tend to talk to him and although he doesn't answer me, I know he's listening and helping me out.  He was a great man and he took me in as if I was his own daughter.  I was blessed to have him in my life and I know that someday we'll meet and have one of our long chats like in the old days.

So, take your loved ones in your heart everywhere you go, and time will help diminish the pain.  It may never go completely away, but it will lessen as time goes by and you'll be able to go on with your life.

Also, they were blessed to have you with them since you loved them so much and took care of them, too.

Neta

[missmaryardene]

Thank you for you condolences and support. I know I was blessed to have my dad and nana in my live. I know they loved me so very much. It is just hard because all I have left of them is there estates. They both left everything to me. I dont want the money I just want them. I am trying to take it one day at a time. My nana was always my vice when the important days about my dad came around. So its like I have no one to turn to. My boyfriend is so supportive and he lost his dad as well. He always tells me how he is soooo sorry that I have lost all my family and he is very supportive. Thank you for the advice.

[LIZZIE LOU]

i'm soooooo sorry...i forgot to mention your dad that you are grieving also.

you are soooooooo blessed to have had two such caring and loving ppl in your life.

one day at a time sweetie...one day at a time.

[LIZZIE LOU]

as the mother of three sons, who have fought addiction issues, let me first off commend you on 3 years of sobriety.  that is awesome.

saying goodbye to someone that we love sooooooo dearly, is never an easy thing to do.  it is downright painful.  i wish there was an easy answer on how to get through it...but as you well know, there isnt.

just as you did with addiction...take it one day at a time.  your nana may be physically gone...but it sounds as if you have such wonderful memories to treasure.  let those memories carry you through this hard time.  

you now have a "special" angel sitting on your shoulder, watching out for you.  talk to her...just as before, she's always there to listen.  my dad has been gone for a little over 2 years and i still feel his presence all around me.  i talk to him almost daily...it helps me get through some very tough times.  i can no longer hear his words of wisdom...but i can now feel what he is saying.

nana is not "gone" forever...she is just waiting on you :)
kim