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Loss of a teenage son
How do you get through the the milestones, birthdays, holidays when you have to watch your brother who's heart is broken, his soul is broken over the loss of his baby boy, who was his best friend and greatest pride and joy, all the while being overcoe with grief for your own loss of a very close nephew. He was a 17 year old Texas A&M student, Biomedical Science Major. One day he is here with us and in a flash, he;s gone and we will never see him again. We are a heartbroken family.
Well it is six months now since I lost my beautiful, dearly loved and admired 15yr old son, and Im not sure when this "time heals thing" kicks in, but now would be good. No doubt about it, NOTHING makes it easier to bear, and when people say, "I dont know what to say", I dont blame them, because I dont either. Life gets turned upside down and somehow you keep breathing and wake up to a new day. Thank God we are not here forever, because that would be just too much.... Love to you all xox
Thank you all so much. I haven't been on the forum for a while. This is unbelievable, but I have lost another nephew, he was 16 and drowned. These were great kids, no drugs, etc...good, good kids and I am wondering why. In addition to this my sister died Oct. 16th of cancer. My boss was killed on a bicycling trip and the list goes on. I know there is a purpose in all of this, just trying to keep my eyes open for an opportunity to honor all of these wonderful people my family has lost. Ahh almost too much.
Much as we would have it otherwise, there is no escape from grief. Those little "anniversaries" or milestones have a tendency to sucker punch you when you least expect it. After losing my father to gallbladder cancer in 6 months from diagnosis to death, I finally learned to roll with the emotional upheavals. So WHAT if I need to cry? Is the world going to stop spinning because I have an emotional meltdown? Nope. Give yourself permission to cry, scream, throw a temper trantrum - whatever. Do it all, but then you have to also remember that YOU are important. YOUR life has meaning. Don't dishoner your loved-one's memory by staying in the grieving mode. It really does take one small day at a time. My own experience has been that it takes a full year to wrap my mind around the loss without losing my mind. No, it's not easy, and nothing can make it easier but time and taking tiny steps back into your life with every passing day.
You have been dealt a double blow. The loss of your nephew and watching your brother grieve and not being able to help him. All you can do is be there for your brother when he is ready to deal with it. I found when I lost my father that noone wanted to talk about him with me for fear I would cry, but I needed to talk about him whether I cried or not. Someday without knowing it, things will be okay if only for a moment, and that is when the healing will begin.
My heart goes out to you and your family. I have never been in your situation and I pray I never will, but I do have some friends that have and all they have ever said is that for this moment I am doing ok. They never tried to say that today I will be better or time will heal it. They said live for the moment and you will have somedays that are better then others and some that are not and they would allow themselves to go through the bad in whatever way they needed at that time.
there are no words to describe the feelings that a parent or someone close go thru when they lose a child i lost my daughter 6 years ago on her birthday it wasnt easy and you have a greiving period you have to go thru and it is hatd but time will ease the pain but you will always have him in your heart sorry is so inadequate so i will say may god bless you and make the pain easier to handle jo
I can't seem to watch all my home videos anymore. So many, young and old, are gone. When I was younger, I was selfish and stupid. I wish I could go back and love them all better than I did. On Christmas our big table requires fewer chairs. My nephew was only 16 when God brought him home. He suffered so much from a deadly brain tumor. My Dad just died a painful death.....thank God we still have people to bestow our love on while we are still here. Try hard to focus on who is left. If there isn't anyone close to you still on this earth, there are many lonely people that would do anything for a friend, or helping hand. In the meantime, I've noticed my fit body deteriorating from all the stresses, losses, grieving. YOU ARE ALIVE. THIS IS YOUR LIFE. As sad as it is, we have lost our loved ones. Do what you can to survive and do things you like during the day. God has a plan and we'll be so surprised some day to find out what the plan really is. I'm not religious; I'm spiritual. I became this way over the last 6 years through all the grueling tragedies. If you ask God with your whole heart, He will be there for you. Ask for guidance and really mean it with your whole heart.
Hi Texas Tea..
I lost my mom 15 years ago of a very sudden heart-attack on New Years Eve, 1992. My family hardly talk about it as far as I know, but I would keep talking about great times you and your brother (his dad) had with him... Grief is something we all do in all different ways.... I am assuming he recently passed away, am I right? Right now, there is nothing you can do but keep his memory alive. Take a picture with you to family events, like Christmas and Thanksgiving. Remember, the world doesn't stop for your grief. And mine. Just do the best that you and your brother can. AND ALWAYS, TexasTea, ALWAYS be there for your brother. He needs to do the same for you. No one here has any more grief than the other person. You get through the milestones and birthdays and holidays by "squeaking by". It will always hurt.... It will get better as time goes by, but it'll never go fully away. When people tell you to "get a grip", walk up to them and whisper to them, "Have YOU ever lost anyone you were close to??" When they are speechless, nod your head at them then leave it alone. And hopefully they will leave it alone, too. There is no real way to get through every day. You and I just squeak by.....
I lost my mom 15 years ago of a very sudden heart-attack on New Years Eve, 1992. My family hardly talk about it as far as I know, but I would keep talking about great times you and your brother (his dad) had with him... Grief is something we all do in all different ways.... I am assuming he recently passed away, am I right? Right now, there is nothing you can do but keep his memory alive. Take a picture with you to family events, like Christmas and Thanksgiving. Remember, the world doesn't stop for your grief. And mine. Just do the best that you and your brother can. AND ALWAYS, TexasTea, ALWAYS be there for your brother. He needs to do the same for you. No one here has any more grief than the other person. You get through the milestones and birthdays and holidays by "squeaking by". It will always hurt.... It will get better as time goes by, but it'll never go fully away. When people tell you to "get a grip", walk up to them and whisper to them, "Have YOU ever lost anyone you were close to??" When they are speechless, nod your head at them then leave it alone. And hopefully they will leave it alone, too. There is no real way to get through every day. You and I just squeak by.....
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