as a guy, it's time to stand up and be a father and responsible life partner to the one he loves now. He should see that this invoves more than just him, and should be happy to have you to lean on, and thankful, or he may end up alone. He needs to grow up and start thinking for himself now. Good luck
I really agree with Judy246 & also think that we may say alot of things when
we are angry. In reality though none of us are not perfect people.
Sometimes we look at all the bad in a person & death makes us realize we
should of also looked at the good things more times than not there is so much
good in us all.Maybe he does have guilt about that.Just try to be there for him
after all he in my opinion would not be a very decent man if he wasnt feeling these
emotions.
Lots of luck
Lisa
There are two sides to every story,as they say! He obviously loved her for a reason! He may feel guilty,for reasons he will never share.He may also feel guilty for his part in their break-up.In my experience men are rarely honest as far as what really happened as far as a break-up.And to have her pass,guilt,and lots of it!!! I would suggest a grief counseler,he needs it.Lots of luck.And I know in my grief,I have been hard to handle.Understanding & compassion is so needed from you right now! God bless your family & through prayer and hope this can be fixed! The best to you,I know this is hard for you as well.Hugs,Jen
Also, I mean no disrespect to you. I understand this is a very uncomfortable situation for you too, but death has a way of desrupting lives. Judy
Regardless whether they were divorced or had a messy divorced. There was a time when this man loved this woman and although they both moved on with their lives, the shared history, children and once a marriage. He might have no longer loved her, but never in his wildest dreams could he imagine that she would have died. She is the mother of his children and he grieves for her passing and concern about his children.
I can understand how uncomforable this must be for you, but all you can do at this point is support him through difficult time for him, her family and the children and please, do not cause further stress by pointing out his flaws. She's dead and just let him grieve her passing as he knows best. Communication is key to all relationship, so "discuss" your conserns without pointing fingers with issues. He loved her once and I know you don't want to hear that, but he did and he is grieving the woman who was once his wife and is no more. Reassure him that you understand that it's a very difficult time for him and the children and you are there to support him through this difficult time. He will open up to you when he is read. Right now, reassure him your support, step back and let him grief if that is what he needs to do, support him with the decision he will have to make with his children. This is a life changing event and will change the dynamics of your relationship. It's important for him to talk about his feelings, so simply listen to him. It will take some time and if it is necessary for him to either pay a visit to a counselor or even a priest, rabbi or whatever religious denomination he is, it will help him within time mover forward with his life and make the right decision. Best wishes...Judy