My cousin is killing himself

[Miss132]

Someone please direct me where to go. My whole family is at a loss for what to do. My cousin is drinking and smoking again after 2 separate open heart surgeries. The doctor said he was going to die soon if he starts up again. He said that he can't wait for it to end. His wife doesn't help the situation and I'm concerned for his child who is 12. He wouldn't hurt his child. He loves him. That's why he's staying there. But it's just making the situation worse for everyone. He's been in therapy, and countless intervention programs and goes back to the same life. I feel that he doesn't want to be this way but that he thinks there is no other choice. Please help me.

[suzi-q]

I would check out the addiction communities...maybe they can help you.  Best to you.

[jml1986]

I agree that you need to go to the addiction communites but I must say to you that as bad as it sounds, there is nothing that can be done for him. He has to want to get better and until he does that, it doesn't matter how many surgeries he has had or who you feel maybe enabling him, the end results are on him. As frustrated as you must be, all you do is be there for his wife and child if he chooses to kill himself. I do however commend you for trying to help him.

[JoeysMomJill]

Sorry, but I must say that you have no right to say that there is nothing that can be done for him. Suicide is at least somewhat preventable and people can be helped with the depression caused by alcoholism and although you might not be able to cure,control or change his addiction you can, and should, continue to offer him positive ideas to encourage any faint will to live. You never know when something you say may finally hit home.

I'm in recovery and I lost a son to suicide 8 months ago. I'm just learning to forgive myself for not being able to prevent it but if I hadn't even tried and he'd died it would be so much worse. True, you may not be able to save him and you will regret that but regret is better than guilt.

I reccomend Al-anon. There are many there who have been through it and can maybe help you if not to change your loved one then to help you personally to serinity. Who knows, maybe it will give him an example of hope.