My husband recently committed suicide

My husband recently committed suicide in our home. I have 2 older kids and we miss him tremendously. Never in my wildest dreams would I have ever thought he would do such a thing. He is absolutely the love of my life and always has been. I'm having a very difficult time dealing with this and trying to help my kids cope with it. I've never felt so lost in all my life. My husband was dealing with a drug problem and couldn't stop. I fear that my son will become so depressed he may take his own life. I watch him very closely all the time but I know I can't be with him 24/7. Also I'm having to give my daughter a wedding in about 6 months. She deserves the best day ever but she was a daddy's girl. How do I give her away when my husband was suppose to do it? This is going to be a very difficult time. If anyone can help me with my children and myself I would greatly appreciate it.

[Lisi251]

Sorry for your loss,remember its not your fault.Just try to be there for your son thats all you can do you cant be there every moment.You have to realize your husband wasnt himself & had a illness.Remind your daughter her dad will be there for her special day.We never get over losing those we love & honestly the days ahead will be difficult.Look to God with hope, faith & love he will help you through.

Blessings
Lisa

[zzzmykids]

Dear One,
There are groups in most towns for the living. Those grieving, feeling angry, guilty and just bewildered for the person who abandoned them. Suicide Prevention in your area would know if there is a group for Survivors of Suicide.
Your son is in a precarious area. There is something called group or contageous suicide where one does it then the next and so on.
Please get him to a psychiatrist or a Psychologist specializing in grief. It won't go away on it's own. Best to have all your family in a Survivors of Suicide and also with either a psych or psychologist.
Sincerely,
zzzmykids

[missingmyhusband]

I am so very sorry for your loss.  My husband also committed suicide in our home on October 15, 2008.  This was the worst day of our lives.  We have 3 children and I understand completely all the feelings you are having.  I am so worried about our 17 year old son (he was 15 at the time). He has self medicated himself with pills and alcohol, and for a while, all I could say was "I don't blame him".  I want the pain to go away too.  But now I'm doing everything in my power that I can, to save my son's life.  I have been watching him much closer and now he gets drug tested randomly.  So far, tests have been negative.
Our daughter is 13 now and she is doing really good finally.  She was a wreck for awhile, but has a tremendous support group of friends that have helped her turn into a sweet girl.  She still is sad, and has struggled with depression, like we all do, but she's going to be okay.  
Our 7 year old is the biggest heart breaker.  He doesn't know the truth.  He was told Daddy had a heart attack.  I just couldn't look into his 5 year old eyes and tell him his Dad shot himself.  It's the most painful with him because he's going to grow up without his Father, and without his parents raising him together.  He will only have faint memories of his Dad and never really know what a great Man and Father he was.  It's so hard for me.
If there is anything you would like to know, please feel free to ask me.  I understand how you're feeling and what you're going through.  Maybe we can help each other.
Sincerely,
missing my husband

[Healthadvisory]

May God bless your familes.  someway somehow you will pull through and help your kids appreciate life. Stay Strong and god bless you.

[wcmom87]

I too lost my husband to suicide.  Almost five years now. I have made incredible  progress dealing with and helping my sons 15 and 11 at the time.  But not a day goes by that I don't worry and do my darnest to stay on top of everything.  Sometimes feel so tired and feel like I'm forever running in a race.  But my sons deserve a full happy life and all to well have already learned how unfair it is at times.  People always have something stupid to say and often summarize a whole person by just viewing a portion of.  I am only one my boys have that they can talk to and know they are 100% understood.  Was enaged for a while but didn't fill the hole I will forever have - the part of me that will always love and be my husbands wife.  I relate to what you wrote and would be happy to share with you what has worked/helped me.