Two weeks ago I got a phone call from my aunt letting me know that my mother was in the hospital confused, couldn't walk, very weak, jaundice, throwing up. This is my mothers second hospital stay. First stay she had a blood transfusion. She stayed two weeks before and now she is back in the hospital. I live 5 hours away from my mom. My mom and I aren't close at all. She chose alcohol over me and the rest of her family. I have put her in rehab before but she busted out and called her drinking buddy to pick her up. Its like I should be the mother and she should be the daughter or something. She has made my life very miserable. She has drank alcohol for at least 24 years. First time I ever saw her drunk I was 14 years old. The funny thing is my mother has smoked cigarettes since she was 13 years old. After her first hospital stay she quit completely. Hasn't picked them up again. But she can't quit drinking. Also my mother has Rheumatoid arthritis. So she eats pain pills like crazy. So now she is addicted to pain pills and alcohol. This hospital stay she had some issues with DT's and feel and broke her shoulder just to get her pain pill fix I imagine. Anyway they are releasing her tomorrow to put her in a rehab therapy hospital. Her symptoms are light colored stools almost like runny mash potatoes, she went through the swelling stage and now she is very skinny, jaundice, so weak she can't walk or hold her head up for that matter, very bad confusion. Doctor said she has to have physical therapy to learn how to walk again. She keeps talking about her babies. As if she had a set of twins which has never happened. Not knowing people and seeing shadows. The doctor finally told everyone she has cirrhosis and alcohol and drug abuse dementia. So thank to the insurance company who found this out and stopped all payment for her care ( blue cross/blue shield). She has to leave the hospital tomorrow. No ifs and or buts. The rehab and therapy hospital she is going too cost $2000 to get started PLUS $164 a day for 8 weeks. Figure out that cost...and you will see its a money trap. Anyway, She is in stage 4 of cirrhosis. Her drug happened because she was hurting so bad from the Rheumatoid Arthritis she just wouldn't stop eating pain pills. I give my mom 3 months to live. Tops. If she lives past that I will be impressed. This may sound very mean but I can't find sympathy for her and I have no passion to go and be with her. I have seen her in hospitals about 10 to 15 times for alcohol poisoning. I tried helping before with rehab and just talking to her. But she made her choice. Now what?
I am so sorry you are having to deal with all of this. I am a nurse and I see her as ill. I can't imagine how much pain she has caused you. You can't change what she has done and she is going to pay a price with her life for her choices. Very sad for the years of damage she has done to herself and you. I don't think any one would blame you for whatever choice you make. Just make sure that you are 100% of whatever your decision. No regrets. Doesn't sound like there is much time left. Alcohol will consume someone before they know it and it will ruin their lives. With pain killers in the mix makes it even worse. I wish she would have been able to have chosen you. Not many can make it out of such a situation. I always wonder what has caused them so much pain to turn to alcohol or was it alcoholism in the family. I wish you the best in whatever you decide. ((hugs))
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