I lost my mom to cancer almost four years(july 7) I was exactly 19 when she passed and it was and still is one of the hardest things I've been through, but take it from me even though its hard with time it'll definitely get better. You'll always miss her that'll never go away, but the pain does get better. Im 23 and I still cry about her all the time. I understand so if you ever want to talk I'm here for you. Im sorry about your mom
OH, OUCH!!! You make ME cry. I lost my older sister when I was 15. She was my best friend. Gone. I wanted to lay down and cry forever. I still greive for her sometimes, more than 20 years later. Give yourself time and space to greive, to scream, to cry, to ask God why He took her so soon. There isn't anything I can say that will lessen your pain. But I can tell you that you are NOT alone, and there are others out here who feel like you, and that your mum would want her girl to smile through her tears, and live life to the fullest. Your mum will live forever in your heart, just as my sister lives in mine. Try to stay busy, if at all possible, and surround yourself with people who know and care about you. That is what I would want my own daughter to do if I couldn't be there for her. I am sending you hugs, and prayers, and Angels to sit on your pillows to comfort you. God Bless, and feel free to message me whenever you want to. I will ALWAYS reply to you. - Blu
If your mother knew she was going to die, I will guarantee you that she was probably accepting about it and somewhat philosophical for herself, but distressed for you. She would not want to leave you if you wanted her around. I hope that when you think of her you know this is true. She would not care if you two had had disagreements or arguments along the way -- what mother wouldn't expect that when raising a child? Don't regret one moment you had together, even those things you 'would have done differently,' because she had you and loved you and overall that was all that mattered to her.
I am so sorry for your loss, it is just what a mother does not want to leave to her child when she goes. But I guess I am trying to say, don't rue even one day that went by, she knew that who you were and what you did was just you growing up, and it didn't matter a darn if it wasn't perfect, the very fact that she had you and the two of you were together WAS perfect.
Remember also that she lives in you, you will hear her voice when you need it, and will be able to say "well, my mother would have said ..." and you will know how much of her lives in you.
I am so sorry for your loss. It is never easy, but at 18 I think that much more difficult.
(((HUGS)))
Annie