Rest In Peace Beloved Mother - Death Anniversary 7/19/09

In Loving Memory of my beloved mother Cathy, who's 2 yr. death anniversary is this Sunday, July 19th

God saw you getting weaker and did what He thought was best. He heard me calling on Him, as I held you gasping for breath. God had mercy on us, looked down and called your name, He said, Cathy, I know you are tired, come home, come to rest.

My heart will eternally be broken. My life will never be the same. God took you in his arms and ended your pain but changed my life forever. I thought of you with love today, but that is nothing new, I thought about you yesterday and days before that too. I think of you in silence, I often speak your name, now all I have is your memories and your picture in a frame. Your memory is my keepsake with which I will never part, God has you in his keeping and I have you in my heart.

Rest in peace my beloved mother until we meet again.

Your loving daugher Judy

[star641]

aw Judy im so sorry and my heart !!goes out to you !!,ive see this a bit late ,,i know you would rather have your mam with you today no matter where! or how nice a place she is in now!,...
but i know  you do realize she is at peace now !....and thats all we have to go on !
your the one in pain now !...you know what Judy !sometimes i wish i could take everyone's pain from them that has lost someone so close to there hearts!! its not fair
that so many people have to carry the pain of losing there loved ones ,..
ya and i know what you will say to me ;)  we all have to go through it to know what its like ,....well i still think its not fair ;....

all my love to you Judy ,.......

[Judy246]

Thank you so much, anniversaries are always so difficult and although time has passed, I will always miss mom. God bless...Judy

[Beachwalker33]

I'm still trying to learn to live again without my Kathy,my Mom.Our Mom's are in heaven so even though we know we should happy for them,we long for them.I pray it gets easier for you and every year your pain lesson's and exceptance enters your heart.I know exactly how you feel,my weight is 103,I was doing better,up & downs,isn't that what it is for those in a grief state.I pray for you and are so glad to have you give such answers with love,lessons my burden.I will come on here more,its just hard at times.Big Hug to you & God Bless,Jen P.S On this day,I'll take your pain.Think of only happy and fond memories.

[Judy246]

The pain has lesson and my family is on "Baby Watch"...bitter sweet, that my mother passed and will not see her only son's first baby (girl), who we were expecting today the 19th...my mom's death anniversary. It's been a journey, but were ok....p.s. we also spell my mom's name with a K....Kathy too. Thanks, Jen.

[henry576]

God bless all.            We will all be reunited some day.




Hank

[Judy246]

Thanks Henry, it took 2 yrs. of pure grief, but the entire family is doing just fine. Hope all is well with you. Judy

[Caitlin767]

I know your pain. Its been 6months since i lost my mother. It would be her 50th birthday today. My heart aches for you. xo

[Judy246]

I'm so very sorry for your loss. 6 months is so recent and I sending you a hug. Your mother was so young. 50 yrs. old is still young, so it makes it that much harder. There is not one day, that I don't think about my beautiful mom.

Caitlin, just remember that you are an extention of your mother. You are her legacy and that is something that death can never take away.  Death can not take away the eternal love that you both have for each other that goes beyond this life....remember that she is only a transition away and one day in God's time when He will call on you, your beautiful mom is going to come running to you from the gates of heaven and be the guiding light and show you the way. God bless!

[HockeyShark]

July 23rd was the 2 year anniversary of my mom's death as well. Sher passed away suddenly in Yosemite where she worked. We were visiting her and found her that horrible morning on the floor. Gone.

You never don't miss them. You just get used to the absence I guess, would be the best way to put it.

[Judy246]

My mother died July 19, 2007 and it's been a difficult journey. I still can't believe that my mother is dead. It's still surreal and there isn't one day that doesn't pass that I don't think of my mom with great sadness. She just became a brand new grandma on the 21st. Bittersweet. Mom died on the 19th and my new little niece was born the same month on the 21st.

You understand exactly what I feel, because we both loss or mothers day's apart. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers and I'm very sorry for your loss also (I invite you to click on my name "Judy246" and see mom grave and her new baby grandaughter that she will never see grow up. Baby Caitlyn looks just like her. She has her round face, nose and toes. God bless.

[Judy246]

p.s. on the day your mother died, my mom was being buried (23rd) Sad isn't. May they both rest in peace.

[specialmom]

I came here to this forum as I was having a hard day with my own loss.  My mom has been gone for 14 years now.  I still feel the pain of this even though I know it shouldn't be fresh anymore.  So I read your posts and feel your pain as it is just like my own.  I know it is a testament to what a great mother I was blessed with (and you) to feel the pain so intensly.  I wish it upon no one but would never trade the love I had for my mom.  It is a catch 22.  I have a husband now and two kids who ask me about her.  Maybe someday I'll be able to talk about her without a lump in my throat.  Anyway I'm sorry for the loss of your mothers and wish us all peace.  

[Judy246]

Thank you so much for your message and  as yourself, I still feel the pain as if it was yesterday. I will never get over losing my mother, but l have "adjusted" to life one day at a time. This might sound crazy, but there are times when I wish I was with her, because I don't want to live without my mom. I won't do anything foolish, but in my heart, I look forward to the day, when she will come get me and show me the way.

There are times when I want to go to the cemetary at night (15 min. away) and I just want to lay next.

I am also very sorry for your loss, we all understand here and we are her to support you also, when you get those "moments".

p.s. I still can't talk about her without getting the lump in my throat and teary eyed. I don't ever want to forget that she continues to live within me. God bless and thank you.

[specialmom]

Hi Judy246,
I understand completely what you are saying---- trying to feel close to her again.  I don't think anyone knows about this, but I have some of her clothes in a box and when I open it----  I smell her perfume.  It takes me right back in time.  For a brief and fleeting second, I'm back in the moment.

I had  physical recently and I was talking to the doctor who is this really nice and kind woman.  I've see her for a few years and she always asks me about how I'm doing with the loss of my mom.  She left the room for a minute and I glanced at my chart, she actually wrote "she still suffers from a broken heart about her mother."  I thought---- wow!  that is so true.  She's never said it that way to me or even acted like this was the case but it was interesting to see it in my medical chart.

Do you ever feel jealous of your friends that still have their mom's?  I must admit I do even though I know I shouldn't.  

Well, thanks for listening.  Someone who understands is so nice.  I wish you peaceful dreams with maybe a nighttime visit from your mom!  

[Neta100]

Hi there.  I lost a dear man who was like a dad to me two years ago, on September 12th.  I still miss him and a day doesn't go by in which I don't think of him.  He had been sick for several years and when I saw him lying in the ICU connected to a machine to breath, I knew it was time to let him go.  He wouldn't want to see himself like that and he had been through so much already.  So, I said good bye to him and now, two years after his death, I still wish he were here, but I know he is up there resting and in peace, and I know that one day I will meet him again and we'll be able to have a blast as in the past.

His wife is still going through a rough patch and I think that as time goes by you learn how to go on without your beloved one, but you'll always miss him or her.  The only way to keep him or her alive is to take him / her with you in your heart and cherish his / her memories, and thinking that someday you'll meet again.

I send you a big hug and a prayer.  And continue keeping your mom with you and talking to her.  She might not be down here, but she'll be listening and will help you out.

Neta

[Judy246]

You truly are a special person and I am so very sorry for your loss also. I too have a box with my mother's cloth's that I selected to keep. I too at times will take a special robe or dress and just hug and smell it to feel my mother again.

Death speared my heart forever when it took my mother away. Many times I wish I just cuddle with her in her resting place. A family friends mother meant well and said to me, "Judy, your not alone, I will adopt you and be your mom" and she hugged me and I said, "but I have a mother"....I want to tell the world that I have a mother, she's just dead, but I have a mother!!!

I always tell people who have their mother to love them, to be kind and do everything for them, because one day they will look back as I do and have no regrets. I did everything humanly possible for my mother and she died in my arms, but no regrets....I would have traded my life for hers.

I hope she will visit me in the form of a dream, so that I can see her again if only for just a moment.  Thank you again...Judy

[Judy246]

I also invite everyone to visit my mom's grave too...click on my "Judy246" and I have pictures...thank  you all.

[Judy246]

Thank you Neta and I understand about the ICU. When my mother was rushed to the ICU, died 9 hours later as I held her. She had an enlarged heart (Congestive Heart Failure), and the diabeties fill her lungs with fluid and as much as they removed the fluid, more would come back. She died sufficated followed by a heart attack. I held her. She was swollen and due to the lack of oxygen, she started changing colors. Her ears and lips were purplish/blue.  She also had so many tubes, she was almost unrecognizable, but she didn't die alone. She was surrounded by every member of the family including her youngest grandchild. It's bittersweet that she died July 19th and became a brand new grandmother July 21st two years later. Thank you for your kindness...and I will keep everyone grieving in my thoughts and prayers.  Judy

[specialmom]

I too lost my mom in the ICU.  It was sudden,however,  She had had surgery that was outpatient and minor that went terribly wrong.  She ended up with a perforated bowel and sepsis.  She was rushed to the hospital by ambulence and they tried to do surgery to repair the damage done.  They couldn't.  It was the longest 27 hours of my life from that surgery until her heart beat for the last time.  I stayed with her as well until the end.  Her heart would beat stronger when I talked to her so I kept talking and praying out loud.  The doctors went from telling me she had a 80% chance of survival right after surgery to no hope and it was time to let her go.  It was all so sudden and she was a healthy 50 year old woman.  I was in shock for two years at least.  I kept thinking I was seeing her places or seeing her car.  Until just a few years ago, I was haunted in my dreams.  Every dream that I had about her, she was either about to die or had been alive all this time and hiding from me.  They were nightmares.  After I had my kids, the dreams have dramatically changed and are happier.  They are less often however and less vivid.  The picture of her in ICU has finally faded as it was not a pretty picture.  Neta and Judy, this memory will fade for you too----  and you will remember what your mother and father/friend really looked like.  I'm glad that you both were with them in the end as I really believe that even if unconscious, this gave them comfort.  See, you even gave to them when your heart was breaking.   What good daughters you were!!

I agree about wanting the world to know that this special person existed.  It is hard as no one speaks of my mom anymore.  The most meaningful person throughout the majority of my life----  and no one currently in my life knows her.  

Judy, you've had a child since losing your mom too.  It is hard to tell them about their grandmother as it is painful.  My kids see that it hurts me and they, bless their hearts, try to comfort me.  

Sweet dreams to us all----  and peace in our hearts.  

[itzpms]

i don't know why God does what he does.
my niece was born on the day we buried my dad in 1990.
i ended up raising her.  
my mom got real sick july 3rd.  she passed away sep. 1st.
i knew she'd been sick.  but the actual death is still so surreal.
i took care of the arrangements and have been doing
paperwork.  i break down with each new form.
i can't believe her life is over and she didn't get to achieve her dreams.
the morning that she passed away, i had drove into a church and
prayed for her.  forgave her.  and cried.  
when i pulled out, the sign advertised "forgiveness" as the
sermon topic.
it will be 1 month on thursday.
now, i just don't seem to want to do anything.
i hope it gets easier for us all...

[Neta100]

I know it's hard seeing a loved be sick and then, having to let go of him / her.  Keep in my mind that they knew you were there for them and keep them in your heart and mind everywhere you go, and cherish their memory.  As time goes by you'll learn to go on, take a day at a time, and think that one day you'll meet again.  You'll never stop missing them, but be sure they are watching over you and looking out for you.

Also keep in mind that they are resting and that even when they are gone from this earth, talking about them and thing about them will keep them close to you.

My prayers go out to you and your family.

Neta

[Judy246]

I am very sorry for both your loss and I so much appreciate your wisdom throughout this thread. I will keep us all in thought and prayer.

[CLM673436]

My Mom died a year ago the 23rd of July. People around me think I'm ok. I'm not. I am barely breathing at best most days. I identify with a previous poster who said while she wouldn't do anything foolish she is waiting for the day she can be w/her mom again. I feel the same way. I'm simply "marking time" until then. I work, take care of my house, work on my graduate degree, try to get out & do things but even w/antidepressants, my life pulse is weak. I talk to no one about how I feel. It would do no good because they all have their mothers still.

[drsunny]

me to feel bad when , ilost my mom on 14th august 2008 due to cancer of lung, she was great lady, i wiil never forget her till my last breath, like that every one of there kin and kith are very impotanat in life,i pray for departed soul,