What should I expect?

My mother has cirrhosis and has had a total of 4 1/2 liters pulled off of her. Dr said she is dying. After 4 weeks in the hospital Hospice helped me set her up at my home. She is hardly eating, always thirsty, hasn't had a bowel movement in 4 days. She is constantly "itching" The hospice dr put her on morpine sulfate among lactolose and some lasics. She is sleeping most of the time. I love my mother so much but I hate seeing her in so much pain. I feel so helpless. Is there anything I should be watching for? Hospice has been great, don't get me wrong, I just need to know how to prepare for this.

[crystalhanzelka]

I am so sorry for what you are going through.  All I can tell you is there is power in prayer.  There is nothing that can prepare you for the death of a loved one.  Just make sure you tell her everything you want to and that you love her.  Let her know that is ok to let go and that you will be ok here as you wait to be with her again.  I am sorry I have no other words.  

[Judy246]

I totally agree with crystalhanzelka.  As much as you want to prepare, there is nothing that can prepare for the experience of losing a loved one.  From my experience, you will instinctively know that the time is soon, but when it happens, you were really not ready.

Hug your mom. Tell her how much you love her and tell her not to be afraid. Let her know that you and God are with her.  Tell her God will never leave her (that is if your family is Christian). Tell her not to be afraid and at the right time, if you are blessed like I was to be with her when she passes, tell her it's "ok"...not to be afraid. To go to the light. I told my mom as she was dying in my arms that it was ok and that I promise to take care of my father (83 yrs old) the way I took good care of her. I told her to go find grandma and grandpa and my dog Toby who also passed. My mother's mother died when she was only 9 yrs. old, so I wanted her to go find grandma. I told her that I would always be with her and when God calls on me, to come get me.  With those words my mother died in my arms. I felt that I gave her permission to go in peace, but there are no words for the experience of losing a love one to death. Very painful and it's a pain that although time will heal, will alway be in your heart.

It's traumatic from the last too weeks before passing. Watching her deteriorate, quite a few ambulance and emergency room visits at 2:00 and 3:00 AM.

For me talking to her and withing 20 minutes her first heart attack, taking her to the ICU, the death experience, having her body pick up by the funeral home, going to the funeral home to make the arrangements. For me having to buy a white dress (like a bride) at sears to bury my mother was one of the most truamatic experiences that I will never forget.  I was the first one to see her in the casket, the wake, burial and finally having to put her cloth away in boxes and donating them to my church.  Then the stages of grief begin and here we are.

it's alot, but reality...love your mom, because when she is gone, you will be in my shoes and I will and I will be her to tell you that it's  going to be ok...one day at a time.

God Bless,

Judy

[jml1986]

It sounds like you are in the final stages. Pretty much what will happen now is that her liver will stop functioning and the poison will fill her body. When this happens, her body willbe more yellow then you have ever seen it look. At this point death is merely minutes or a few hours away. If she is not in a coma yet, she will mostly start spitting up blood. If she is already in the coma it will just be a short time before her body just stops functioning. Don't worry, they will keep her comfortable, and it will most likely be a peaceful passing at the end. After she pass, do not be shocked when you see her, their skin turns very gray from the poison.
I know this sounds very horrible, and I always hate telling someone what reality is when it comes to this disease, but I wish I had known before I had to watch it for myself.