On July 29, 2012, the love of my life committed suicide after falling into a deep depression. It has been 25 painful days and the emptiness I feel seems to be getting worse. She was my everything, my reason for breathing, my soulmate. I loved her completely for 7 years and I feel that I will mourn her for the rest of my life. I am only 31 and have accepted the fact that I will never love again. I don't want to love again. She was the person I wanted to experience life with, grow old with, die with and now all of that seems like a nightmare. What I would give to hold her even if it was just for a minute. I have thought of all the things I would say to her, if there was anything I could say to change her mind, if I only pleaded with her to put down the gun. I feel like my soul is suffocating under the weight of this pain and I have no strength to fight it. Does this grief ever let up? One can only hope, but I don't know how much more I can take. I MISS YOU MISSY!