cant 4give myself !!

Hi all I'm 27 yrs old with 3 children (6 year old and 15 month twins) in august 2009 I gave birth 2 a baby girl @ 18 wks gestation! I found out my baby had a very bad form of spina bifita (her brain was pushing thru her skull) my consultant advised 2 terminate as pregnancy would never have gone to term! They call it a theraputic termination, which makes me feel awful :( 3 months after that I fell pregnant with my twins! Its been over 2 yrs but I feel so guilty, I keep thinking what if I had tried! Over the past 2 yrs I have been rapidly going down hill, depressed n all docs give is stupid anti-depressants which don't work! Did I do the rite thing? Can sum1 give me advice on how 2 cope!

[mammo]

Hi.  I am so sorry for all you have endured and what a horrible decision you had to make. I am ant-abortion but in your case I truly feel you did what was best for your baby!  There is a lot of controversy over our ability to save babies that are very sick and premature because they have a life time of suffering ahead of them.  I have watched my son suffer horrendously only to die young as well as my grandson, and I would not wish this on anyone!  You may have carried your baby full term (doubtful) but had she survived that long...what was in her future?  I think you were only thinking of her and her well being and it took a lot of love and courage to do what you did. Then you were immediately blessed with twins...how wonderful for you!. I think if you journaled your feelings and emotions regarding your baby it would help you immensely.  Therapy would also help you learn to cope with all of this.  You did the right thing and don't miss a moment of the three children you do have, they truly need you! Like I said, I had to watch my son and grandson suffer in ways unimaginable.....you saved your baby from this suffering. She is at peace and not suffering, you made the right decision.  Now get yourself in a better place for yourself and children.  Big hugs to you, I know what it's like to live with a lot of "in onlys".

[mammo]

Sorry that last line should have read "if onlys".......take care.

[Luckycharm10]

Hi i just wanna say you didn't nothing wrong at all you did what was best your child did not have to go through this pain because i will say it would have been hard either way but harder to see you little girl go through that you made the right choice and trust me she's loves you for it and god knows your strong and can get through this but he also bless you with not one but two little angels after that now you need to keep your head up high so i did best i could do and god bless me with two now you have three baby be very grateful for what you have now those baby's are still here they don't won't mommy sad trust me they know they always do , you are very strong lady and very lucky the 4 you have the three are living you will meet you little angel someday until then don't worry she's okay god got her.. I know I've went through losing my baby boy not to long ago and it hurts alot but i keep praying keep my faith and god getting me through so keep praying

[lisaob1]

hi can i just say im so sorry for your loss,i cant imagine how hard a decision it was for you. but she wouldnt of had a quality of life and neither would of you and your family. please dont feel guilty because as mother,the hardest thing to do is let go. you have nothing to feel guilty for. you did what you thought best as a mother.thats what makes you the mum you are.she is with you always and i hope you find strength in knowing that and find strength in knowing that too, god bless to you and your family. your a loving mum no matter what x

[cead]

In my opinion, NO you did not do the right thing.  chances are that the fetus would not have survived anyway.

Life is God's choice.  Not a woman's.  

Nobody can give you advise except maybe you should talk with your pastor if you have one. Maybe he can counsel you.

[nataliereid]

u did nothing wrong at all, dont feel guilty. 5 days ago i had to give birth to my baby boy at 17weeks gestation, asa he had died in my womb the doctors examined him and they said he has some kind o abnormality i will know more after post mortem, if i have had to make the decision that u had t make i dont know wat my decision would have beed, keep strong n try not t feel guilty it was the right decision for u at te time xx

[tattoomommy03]

@cead, that is such a horrible thing to have said. I personally think she did the right thing. Its not like she played around, god pregnant a chose to terminate as a form of birth control. I myself had an abortion, one was due to being raped! And the last was in july of this year because it was a partial tubal pregnancy that was pretty much gonna kill me if it went on. And both of them were painful. Don't worry sweetie, you did the right thing and you have been blessed with twins!