death

[Jaquta]

How does one work through accepting a terminal diagnosis?

[ku111]

I have a 12 year old son that became very ill in November 2010.  We were told after that he would get better and then didn't.  He is better than the original event but probably has MS because of it.  Everything changed for us and for him.  Yes, there is always going to be someone else that is worse but that doesn't change the sadness/anger/confusion/the unknown that you are feeling (someone told me this once :))  It is true.  And you know, it is ok.  The unknown is a scary place to be.  You are not alone.  You can talk to us anytime!

[Jaquta]

Thanks.  I looked it up and it's called anticipatory grief.
It seems wrong when others have a "real" reason to grieve.  Seems wrong somehow.  Lots one more loss against a life time of them though?  It just seemed important to get this one right.
Thanks for the support.

[mammo]

It's fine that you posted here. I can see how you would view "high risk" and "terminal" close in meaning.  You can always talk to us regardless of whether it's terminal or high risk.....we're here for you and care...feel free to talk or just vent to us.  You're obviously going through a lot right now....big hugs....

[Jaquta]

It was wrong of me to post here and possibly extremely insensitive to many.  I possibly meant high risk versus terminal (although at the moment they seem the same).

Likely in my own process of grieving for self I am either in the bargaining or anger phase.

Thanks for your concern.

[mammo]

It's a very difficult thing to learn that one is terminal and I feel it's important to know that anything you may be feeling is okay.  Why me.....anger....sadness.....  The good thing about knowing you are terminal, is it gives you the time and opportunity to say all your unspoken words and to make amends with anyone you need to.  You get to say your goodbyes, all your I love you's, and have peace in your heart.  You can put your loved ones at ease and let your wishes be known.  I do know that everyone seems to be at peace in the end and I wish this for you.......

[ku111]

I think there are many ways one accepts a terminal diagnosis.  There are phases that one may go through or not go through.  They are Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and then Acceptance.  Some may go through all and some may not.  They don't always go in order.  I think one goes through these phases in themselves and they resolve them within themselves.  Doesn't seem anything fair about it but people are amazing and in the end most people have worked through it.  Please let us know if you need to talk.  Not a very easy thing to talk about but we are here for support.