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drowning
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drowning

Over this past summer my aunt her 4 kids my mom her bf and me went to the lake it was a hot summer day (95) we played there all day. The following day every one wanted to go back to the lake but I felt like I was dying. I have a heart problem so me and the sun don't go well together. I told everone to go but they didn't want me home alone. My aunt got a call later to go to the ocean with a co worker and she went the kids wanted to swim. My 9 year old cousin drowned that day...
Since then I've felt like its my fault.. If I would have just went to the river that day she would have been at the ocean for it to happen. I just don't know how to deal with it.
I want to wake up and go to the river weither I feel sick or not.
Does this feeling last forever?
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Your actions could not have prevented this from happening.  Don't put this burden on your shoulders....it's not fair to you.  There are things in life which we have no control over and although you feel things would have turned out differently had you gone....they wouldn't have.  I'm so sorry for your loss, but stop blaming yourself. You may want to get into therapy to help you cope with this, you're trying to shoulder all the blame and it just isn't fair to do this yourself.  Mourn your loss, but it's nobody's fault....things just happen.  I hope this helps...we're always here for you if just to talk, or vent.  Take care of YOU!
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