Aa
im stuck
Hi there, as the tears are rolling down my face i am writing this, my beauitful husband passed away on the 11 may 2010 this year, 41, and i am just starting to thaw out i am so lonely in so many ways, i have two dependent children 10 and 7 one has special needs.
i am finding it hard that MM will not be here to see our girls achievements and i am very lonely on my own now never thought i would say that. MM died of pancreatic cancer. has anyone been in this situation ....i know its time but how do i deal with my grief.
i am finding it hard that MM will not be here to see our girls achievements and i am very lonely on my own now never thought i would say that. MM died of pancreatic cancer. has anyone been in this situation ....i know its time but how do i deal with my grief.
Hi NZ,
My father passed on on May 13, 2010. He lived with us for 8 years and died in my arms. He was very ill the last eight months. I know that cannot compare to the loss of a young husband but I do feel your pain and sorrow.
I am still looking for ways to heal my heart. I am glad that we had "time" to say all the things that needed to be said. I hope that you and your husband did also.
I feel empty and lonely cannot imagine how much worse it would be had it been my husband, my soul-mate.
If it helps I will share with you what has made his death a bit more bearable. I have found that getting out of the house and keeping busy however sometimes doing nothing very constructive but busy. Coming to MedHelp has been helpful. Sharing my grief and responding to posts in other communities has made a difference.
I have diazepam that I take on occasion to help me sleep. I don't use it often but it is effective. Talk to your physician as he may prescribe you something for a short time. Unfortunately you can't get away from the grief, Drugs or alcohol will only mask your feelings for a short time. We must go still go through the painful process.
Do you have a close friend or relative? Is so lean on them for awhile. That's what friends and family are there for. I best friend has called me in the middle of the night when she was experiencing a lose. I never minded those calls.
A minister, rabbi, priest, etc., whatever your choice, can be another source of comfort. If you are a person of faith, prayer can be a powerful thing. I call on God to help me through this process and to comfort me. He hears me.
Was your husband in a Hospice program? If so they also have a support system and can refer you to a support person or group(s).
As the grief workshop woman said your pain is "fresh". It's very deep and raw at this point, like an open wound. And I think that that's what grief feels like, an open deep wound. I have said my heart is bleeding, that's what it feels like. But grief is a bit different for each of us. Please find a good grief counselor asap.
I know you are tired of hearing this, I am tired of it too. But time will help you heal. However and unfortunately there is no fast forward....or I would have used it.
I have found that few things or ppl make me angry. I do have a kind of inner peace or maybe tolerance is a better word. I am more forgiving of ppl and less judgmental. I know too well that Bad Things Happen to Good People and I never know where someone else might be in their live stresses. If you haven't read the book, "When Bad Things Happen to Good People" I encourage you to do so. It helped me at during during the time of another stressful lose.
Try a visit your local library, they have other books available on grief, loss and the process. Just getting out to go to the library may help you.
My heart goes out to you. I am here if you need to chat. Again I am so very sorry for your lose.
Blessings,
~Tuck
My father passed on on May 13, 2010. He lived with us for 8 years and died in my arms. He was very ill the last eight months. I know that cannot compare to the loss of a young husband but I do feel your pain and sorrow.
I am still looking for ways to heal my heart. I am glad that we had "time" to say all the things that needed to be said. I hope that you and your husband did also.
I feel empty and lonely cannot imagine how much worse it would be had it been my husband, my soul-mate.
If it helps I will share with you what has made his death a bit more bearable. I have found that getting out of the house and keeping busy however sometimes doing nothing very constructive but busy. Coming to MedHelp has been helpful. Sharing my grief and responding to posts in other communities has made a difference.
I have diazepam that I take on occasion to help me sleep. I don't use it often but it is effective. Talk to your physician as he may prescribe you something for a short time. Unfortunately you can't get away from the grief, Drugs or alcohol will only mask your feelings for a short time. We must go still go through the painful process.
Do you have a close friend or relative? Is so lean on them for awhile. That's what friends and family are there for. I best friend has called me in the middle of the night when she was experiencing a lose. I never minded those calls.
A minister, rabbi, priest, etc., whatever your choice, can be another source of comfort. If you are a person of faith, prayer can be a powerful thing. I call on God to help me through this process and to comfort me. He hears me.
Was your husband in a Hospice program? If so they also have a support system and can refer you to a support person or group(s).
As the grief workshop woman said your pain is "fresh". It's very deep and raw at this point, like an open wound. And I think that that's what grief feels like, an open deep wound. I have said my heart is bleeding, that's what it feels like. But grief is a bit different for each of us. Please find a good grief counselor asap.
I know you are tired of hearing this, I am tired of it too. But time will help you heal. However and unfortunately there is no fast forward....or I would have used it.
I have found that few things or ppl make me angry. I do have a kind of inner peace or maybe tolerance is a better word. I am more forgiving of ppl and less judgmental. I know too well that Bad Things Happen to Good People and I never know where someone else might be in their live stresses. If you haven't read the book, "When Bad Things Happen to Good People" I encourage you to do so. It helped me at during during the time of another stressful lose.
Try a visit your local library, they have other books available on grief, loss and the process. Just getting out to go to the library may help you.
My heart goes out to you. I am here if you need to chat. Again I am so very sorry for your lose.
Blessings,
~Tuck
Hi there thank you for answering my letter i have down most of what you have suggested however the lady that does the grief workshops said that i am to fresh into my process, and i have to get another counciller as week after week my children go in by themselves and come out i find out nothing and i dpont seem to be challenged and i dont know how to challenge myself in ways in which to find peace and move on.
tasha
nz
tasha
nz
As you said it takes time but also it wouldn't hurt to get some counseling and even join a group of people who have lost a significant other. It may help you being around and talking to people in your same situation. It would also give you somebody to talk to and is free. Support groups are really good. Also, for the time being, you can talk to your doctor and see if you can temporarily get put on something to help you during this time of need. I am so sorry for your loss and I wish you the best of luck.
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