miscarriage and family loss

well im pretty lost right now as to how to handle my situation im in the beginning stages of  my 3rd miscarriage and its been so painful, my hcg levels are down really down:( i feel like if i would just stop bleeding and cramping i'll be able to move on but it's just dying. i dont have any children and im scared i cant. now my fiance lost his brother yesterday unexpectedly at the age of 27.He just didnt wake up and left behind a pregnant wife and 3 children. i believe i've really done all i can to help him and let him know im here for him but its not being recipricated. i dont know if im being selfish or not he really isnt here for me at all. he wasnt when it started he never even went to the hospital with me when we discovered there were problems. i understand hes going through a lot and im not trying to down play anything hes feelin. i guees i just want to know if i'm in the wrong for wanting him to show he cares, what can i do without sounding insensative to his loss to let him know i need him? he's been so standoffish and pushes me away he snaps at me for no reason is this normal?

[Judy246]

I'm so very sorry for all your losses. Please make sure that  you give your body time to heal from a miscarriage, before getting pregant again. Discuss this with your doctor, who is the best person to help you pin point what is going on with you body and why you are having difficulty.  As for your fiance, everyone grieves differently, so give him space to sort out his feelings. Just be there for him when he needs you. This too shall pass, but death is raw and there is no way around it...you will both experience the grief process, so be patient and compassionate with each other...one day at a time.

Judy

[heatherfeather85]

thanku so much for your kind words. went to dr today and they are calling it a possible miscariage so they dont know whats going on. ***** though.

[Judy246]

My sister in law had a miscariage two weeks before Christmas.  It would have been my brothers first child. It was a rough year since my mother died in my arms July 19th.  The Doctors told my sister in law  that she would have to wait at least 3-4 months, before trying again. The good news is that she is 2 months pregnant and we pray that the little peanut will hang in there.  I can't tell you the last time our family held a baby.  I'm engaged, but have lots of nieces and nephews...college age with the exception of the youngest "Anthony" who is 10 yrs. old.

Take care of yourself and lots of prayers....you are in my thoughts and prayers and just be there for your fiance. There is nothing like going through a death in the family.

Judy