need a little help

[skav8188]

hi,i'm 21 and i lost my mom to lung cancer in november last year.i was her carer,from the date she was diagnosed till the day she died was only 6 months and 1 week so it was a very fast aggressive cancer.since then i've been left to sort everything out that was left with no help from the rest of my family.i've been feeling really ill.some days i haven't even got the energy to move,i just think about what happened constantly.i feel so low and lost and then i've also got physical symptoms like having trouble breathing,a really bad cough and some days i feel like something bad is going to happen to me or my husband,also i ve lost weight without trying.
My doctor has told me that all my syptoms are grief coming threw but then i feel crazy.i even think sometimes it would be better to be in a mental hospital.my memory is shot too.
are these syptoms normal as a sign of grief?
Attached is a picture of my mom just 3 months before she died.

[Lisi251]

Sorry about the loss of your precious mother.I to lost my mom to lung cancer.I cant say that life will ever be the same again cause it wont.Ask God for his help & he will get you through one day at a time.Remember one day you will see her again in a place that we will never know pain or tears.Lung Cancer is such a horrible disease that takes our loved ones very quickly we only found out 2 months before my moms death.Remember her love the good times & we are here if you need us.

Bless you
Lisa

[Judy246]

Hi Skav,

I'm so very sorry for the loss of your mother. What a wonderful acknowledgement of her memory to share her beautiful picture. I loved the flowers in the background also. As yourself, my mother died in my arms of Congestive Heart Failure and diabitis and I was with her from the day I was born, until the day she died. There are no words to describe the entire experience from the illness, emergency room visits at 2-3 am, progressively getting worst, having her first heart attack and dying 8 hours later of a second heart attack. As your mother, my mother suffered soooo much with her health and the diabities filled her lungs with water and she pretty much suffocated, because she couldn't breath. The death, arrangement, funeral, burial, after death and then living without her has been hell. I also have my 84 yr. father, so I will go thru this again.

In order to begin to heal, it will be necessary to go thru the stages of the grief process, which will be very difficult. You will have good days and you will have very bad days and the first year is the worst, because there will be first birthday, anniversary, holidays and it's very difficult. There is no way around this one, it's raw. It's important to talk about what you are feeling and take some quite time to just reflect on what has happened and within time (a very long time...almost 3 yrs. for me), you will very slowly feel like a human being again. Remeber that you are an extension of your mom and she is just a transition or prayer away. At the right time, she will give you a sign of comfort that she is ok in the form of a dream or even hearing her call you, but these are signs that she is close and ok. Please visit my profile pictures also, so you can see why my heart will eternally be broken. The loss of my mother has left me like an orphan, but we do have a mother. Although she is not physically here, she is our mother and we are an extension of her, so live your life to the fullest and make her very proud and one day when  God will call on you, your mother is going to come running to you from the gates of heaven and be the guiding light to show you the way.

Rest easy, it's going to be ok....one day at a time...Hugs, Judy