trouble coping...

[sweetpea03]

I lost my cousin in late December ' 09. She had passed away in her sleep, as her heart failed. I'm the type of person who always wants to know what happened, why, how, etc. And I didn't get any of that. They did an autopsy, but were not conclusive. I had wanted them to do another one, but her husband said no. I thought it would have been better to do as she has a 7 year old daughter. And if there is something genetic, it will affect her down the road. I've been trying to be strong with my cousin's daughter and being there for her, but I miss my cousin a lot. It's almost Easter and she won't be there. My cousin was the first person I'd talk to when I had something to say and sometimes I'd mistakenly call her cell, only to find the number no longer exists. She truly is gone and I'm having a very hard time moving on.. I don't know what to do...

[sweetpea03]

thanks! What's weird was that in November, during Thanksgiving we were talking about death, and she had said she'd be happy to be with Jesus and would like to go in her sleep when it's her time. And she died a little over a month later. It was very strange..

I gave her an angel necklace that had been passed down from our great-grandma who passed away 5 years ago. I had it for a while, but thought it better that she has it now. Her father isn't helping though, at all. He gives in to her every request. She'll ask for fattening foods, and he'll give it to her. She has gained a LOT of weight and isn't coping. I've been trying to help, but her dad is undoing everything I've tried to help with her. It's so frustrating! And I've been trying to heal myself, but it's been difficult.

[Judy246]

Loving and losing a beloved family member is life changing and the reality of "death" is very difficult and real. In 2007, I had 7 deaths within an 8 month period, including my mother who died in my arms and my brother loss his first baby 2 weeks before Christmas. I loss my job and my beloved doggie boy Toby died of a heart attack. Death brought me and my entire family to our knees, but God gave me the strength to be a survivor.

I would consider myself blessed to die in my sleep! That is the way I want to go!!!  

Right now it's important that her little girl is surrounded by loving family and made to feel as if although mom is not there with her, she is with her in spirit. I also recommend that you take her to buy a few great big red "I Love You" hellum balloons, have her write a very special letter to her mom and find a very special spot to let them go. Say a little pray and ask that the angels read her not to her mom and this will bring her not only great joy, but comfort. Also, so to the book store and buy an appropriate age book on mommy in heaven. I did and it did help the children in my home deal with the many losses including the loss of their favorite dog Toby. As for you, it's important to talk about how you feel. It will also help, but there is no way around this one. Death is raw and we need to learn how to deal with our emotions and grieve our loss.