Hello Doctor,
I am a 20-year-old, female virgin, and I have masturbated almost all of my life. Around the age of 15, I started getting pain in the clitoral area and I didn't know why. In the past (and even a few days ago) I have often rubbed my clitoris/labia for such long periods of time (mostly over underwear/clothes) to the point of pain (I still got orgasms anyway). I never used a vibrator for over 15 minutes or so, and never directly on the clitoris. There are times where I have a constant soreness in the area that gets worse with tight pants.
Earlier this year, my boyfriend at the time poked my clitoris (over my thin underwear) with a fair amount of force (when I told him not to beforehand) and I ended up crying. It hurt a fair amount, but it was not super severe and I didn't see any bleeding (I was wearing black underwear but never saw anything while wiping afterward).
I went to the gynecologist and asked about my pain (didn't mention the ex-boyfriend's actions), and she noticed a lot of smegma. I had no idea I even had it. She instructed me on how to remove it, and after I removed the smegma between my labia minora and labia majora, I felt a bit better. However, I do not know how to reach or see my clitoris and its smegma, so when I went back to the doctor she looked and poked around in the area and said I have a tight clitoral hood. She just said the labia minora was super sensitive and I needed to put lube on it and "desensitize it" a bit with a Q-tip and maybe get pleasure from oral sex there, not a hand.
I'm wondering, did my excessive masturbation and the poke from my ex-boyfriend permanently damage my clitoral/vulvar nerves? I don't mind taking a break from sexual activity but I'd be devastated if I lost any capacity to feel. I hope I can get big orgasms there again without worrying about pain. Also, I have recently gotten tested for STDs and am negative for everything: viral and bacterial.
I'm really scared. Please help, doctor.