Getting hiv from thai massage

Hello doc,

I know my question is identical to so many other but I really appreciate if you can still reply since I am very worried.

13 months ago I vistied first and last time massage parlour in Finland. The lady who gave me erotic massage was from Thailand and about 40-50 years. Here is the story:

She gave me first full body massage about 10-15 minutes without touching any of my mucous membranes. After that she started to massage my penis and inserted her finger into my anus for two minutes. What worries me if she had put some lubricant into her vagina before the massage because she offered me sex at some point during the massage.

I have taken all possible tests several times after this episode.
4th generation hiv test after 8, 12, 25,48 weeks
Hiv PCR-test after 11 months.
Hep c and Hep B after 15 weeks, 25 weeks and after 9 months.
Syphillis (syphilis) after 12 weeks
Chlamydia and Gnohorrea after 12 weeks from penis and anus.

All the tests have been negative.

I was ready to move on but then after we had sex first time with my lovely wife after this episode my wife started to get some hiv kind symptoms. After about two weeks after we had sex she started to experiance night sweats. She associated them to menopause because she is in that age now and her menstruations disappeared few months ago. After 8 weeks of our sex she (hopefully) got a flu, a similar kind that she gets many times of the year. Symptoms included soar throat, fever, night sweats and enlarged lymph glands. What somewhat worries me is that her night sweats stopped after three months. Usually in the menopause they last longer. I am still scared that I am hiv infected and passed the virus to my wife.

What do you think? Can I finally forget this and move on or is there any reason to be tested at some point again and ask my wife to be tested as well. I do not want to tell my wife about the silly mistake I made.

Kind Regards.

[Dr. Jose Gonzalez-Garcia, MD, MRCGP, PhD]

Hello,
Thank you for your post and welcome to our forum.
After all the negative tests that you have had, we can conclude that you have not contracted any sexually transmitted infection, and certainly not HIV.  You did not put yourslef at risk anyway in the first place, and all the negative HIV tests that you have had are final and fully conclusive.  Therefore it is impossible for you to infect your wife if you are HIV negative.  Your wife's symptoms have absolutely nothing to do with HIV or any other STD.
Best wishes,
Dr José

[stillworried68]

Thanks a lot for your prompt reply. So your opinion is that I can finally move on with my life (and avoid those kind of places in the future)? What really worried me all the way that what if she had touched her vagina for some reason before starting to massage me. But this is something I do not need to think anymore, right?

[lifeislife]

Listen to the doctor you are ok! it is just guilt that is motivating your irrational thought pattern. I know as I have been in your position myself. You have acted responsibly in getting yourself tested but to a degree where your concerns have become an unhealthy obsession, and furthermore developed into a type of OCD. Many people have not had the fortunate outcome of being HIV negative so think of them instead of keeping thinking about yourself. I don't mean to be hard on you, but everything I have said is a fact.

[stillworried68]

Thanks for your comment. Yeah, I definitely have got an OCD and currenlty I am on therapy because of that. I jusst have difficulties to trust on my negative results, especially because my wife got typical ARS symptom after we had sex first time after my silly mistake. The truth is that it would be medical miracle if I would hav hiv after such a low to non-risk exposure and after numerous tests I've made. I just would be the most terrible thing that I would have destroyed the life of my wife and my family.