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Avatar universal

Alone and so worried in Canada

Good day Dr. H and Happy New Year.  I am writing to you as I don't know what to do or think (not including my constant fear and anguish). I am a 40 year old female.  About a month ago, an old flame came to town.  We went for dinner and drinks, and well, you guessed it, one thing led to another, and we had unprotected vaginal sex. I also performed oral on him.  At first my only concern was pregnancy, but he is sterile as a result of colon cancer.  But then I began to think about other possibilities and I am terrified.  I went to a clinic yesterday, and was examined for STDs and HIV.  The nurse stated that my physical examine was fine and then she took a slide away and came back and said that was fine (not so sure what she looked at). The HIV test results will be back next Tuesday.  The test was done at 29 days.  She told me that those would not be conclusive and I would need testing at 3 and 6 months.  Ug.  I am terrified I have HIV and can not concentrate and can't stop crying.  We are both professionals in our early 40s, white and living in Canada.  I don't believe he would inject drugs.  Please help me with your advice.  Thank you so very much.
5 Responses
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300980 tn?1194929400
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Stress.  You really have no meaningful reason to be concerned.  Your next test will be negative as well. EWH
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hello again Dr. H.  I hope you don't mind another question.  My 4 week test came back negative, but I am still quite worried.  I have developed a sore throat and a headache over the last week.  Could this be a sign of late conversion or just stress. UG.  I feel so foolish.
Helpful - 0
300980 tn?1194929400
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
At 4 weeks your test would detect aqbout 90% of HIV infections.  AT 8 weeks the test will detect over 99%.  Thus while your 4 week test is reassuring, the 8 week test will be still more definitive.  EWH
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you for your advice and reassurance.  Just 1 question, you said at 8 weeks.  I was tested at the 4 week mark.  I should go back in another month then?
Helpful - 0
300980 tn?1194929400
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Welcome to our Forum.  I think that the best way I can help you to think about this is to put your risk in perspective using numbers from the U.S. which, for illustrative purposes are, if anything a more conservative estimate that is the case for Canada.  There are over 350 million people living in the United States of whom 1 million have HIV.  Thus, on the basis of this fact alone your chances of having HIV are less than 3 in 1000.  Then, realizing that most infections are among men who have sex with other men (over 2/3rds), drug users (over 10%) and minorities, the chances that your partner was infected are still lower.  Then, your odds of getting HIV, IF HE WAS INFECTED, are less than 1 in 1000 exposures.  Thus, your odds of infection are somewhat less than 1 in half a million at that point.  Clearly, the odds are in your favor (this is not an endorsement of unprotected sex, just a statement of the risk).

I realize that does not take the place of a negative test but you really have little to worry about.  Since you know your partner, it is reasonable to ask him if he has been tested and, if not, ask him to get a test.  When his test is negative, your risk goes to about zero since you cannot get HIV from someone who does not have HIV.

Finally, if finding out his HIV status cannot be done, the advice that you need to be tested at 3 and 6 months is overly conservative.  At the present time, in your situation, test results at 8 weeks can be considered as definitive.

I hope these comments are helpful to you.  You have little to worry about.  EWH
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