Aa
Can it happen?
Hi doc. Two weeks ago I have sex with a man (first and last time I think... well no I'm sure!).
I was the receptive with a condom. The condom stayed intact. I was quite worried because the guy
Today he told me he is HIV+, but didn't want to talk about viral load or nothing else, he just turned off his phone...
We used my saliva as lubricant but once he used his saliva. It was quite a long session... I've read saliva can have HIV in variable quantities, generally small, that even with small amounts of blood seems inoffensive in kissing or fellatio, but what happens if it can reach the anal/rectal mucosa with intercourse? I am really worried.
Can I be infected? Should I test?
Thank you
I was the receptive with a condom. The condom stayed intact. I was quite worried because the guy
Today he told me he is HIV+, but didn't want to talk about viral load or nothing else, he just turned off his phone...
We used my saliva as lubricant but once he used his saliva. It was quite a long session... I've read saliva can have HIV in variable quantities, generally small, that even with small amounts of blood seems inoffensive in kissing or fellatio, but what happens if it can reach the anal/rectal mucosa with intercourse? I am really worried.
Can I be infected? Should I test?
Thank you
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Thank you very much for letting us know. It took courage to come back and admit the condom broke, given your initial certainty that the sex was protected. It was a kind thing to do, as it will help limit the fears of anxious forum users who worry needlessly about condom-protected exposures. If you have not done so, I hope you will also tell your story on the HIV community forum.
I hope you are under expert care. If not, please hook up immediately with a physician who is expert in HIV/AIDS.
I hope you are under expert care. If not, please hook up immediately with a physician who is expert in HIV/AIDS.
Important update: Condom DID break. I insisted I need an answer and he told me... Very sad, If I would have know a good PEP could have aborted the infection...
Last week more symptoms appeared: more swollen nodes, low fever 37.5, VERY stiff neck, headache, more oral ulcers, retroorbital pain... Feel really bad, (cold, hot) like never felt before...
A new chapter begins...
Last week more symptoms appeared: more swollen nodes, low fever 37.5, VERY stiff neck, headache, more oral ulcers, retroorbital pain... Feel really bad, (cold, hot) like never felt before...
A new chapter begins...
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Unfortunately, this sounds real. Please accept my best wishes. With proper health care, you can still expect a long and fruitful life.
I'm not going to participate in discussions about the mechanism of infectin, but I suspect that the condom likely broke without your knowledge. In any case, there is no point in speculating now.
To other forum users, especially the anxious set inclined to worry about low risk or apparently safe sex, max11's experience does not elevate your risk. (Just like reading about someone being struck by lightning doesn't increase the reader's chance of being hit.) At the same time, max11's apparent infection reinforces the importance of "do ask, do tell" as a core safe sex strategy for all MSM: ask HIV status before sex and avoid positives and those who seem evasive about it, even when safe(r) sex is planned.
I'm not going to participate in discussions about the mechanism of infectin, but I suspect that the condom likely broke without your knowledge. In any case, there is no point in speculating now.
To other forum users, especially the anxious set inclined to worry about low risk or apparently safe sex, max11's experience does not elevate your risk. (Just like reading about someone being struck by lightning doesn't increase the reader's chance of being hit.) At the same time, max11's apparent infection reinforces the importance of "do ask, do tell" as a core safe sex strategy for all MSM: ask HIV status before sex and avoid positives and those who seem evasive about it, even when safe(r) sex is planned.
I and others have spoke to max11 on the free side of this site and I hate the fact that he tested positive but from his story it doesn't add up that this exposure he would test positive unless the condom failed.
what doc is to say about this
Tested positive, rapid test in Doc. office, been there for 2 hours. I'm paralized.
My only symptom is lymph nodes in groin, armpits, neck...
I have to do more tests on the lab, ordered a lot of analysis. I'm going to the lab...
It's frustrating... It was supposed to be safe sex...
My only symptom is lymph nodes in groin, armpits, neck...
I have to do more tests on the lab, ordered a lot of analysis. I'm going to the lab...
It's frustrating... It was supposed to be safe sex...
Max, try to ease up a bit. The "swollen glands" you found may as well be completely normal. Most people can feel up their glands in that area, this doesn't mean they are swollen. Only a doctor is capable of telling you if they're swollen or not, do not try to self-diagnose, because you'll end up thinking that you have all the symptoms, which will make you very miserable.
I understand it must be very stressful to learn that your partner is positive. This anxiety is possible to bring on real symptoms, which you might mistakingly attribute to HIV. Psychosomatic symptoms do exist, they are very real, most people on this board would agree on that. But the important thing in your case is that you had protected sex, and as the doctor said, you can expect a negative result when you test.
I understand it must be very stressful to learn that your partner is positive. This anxiety is possible to bring on real symptoms, which you might mistakingly attribute to HIV. Psychosomatic symptoms do exist, they are very real, most people on this board would agree on that. But the important thing in your case is that you had protected sex, and as the doctor said, you can expect a negative result when you test.
Ok Doc., so I had a real HIV exposure.. I found 3 swollen glands today in my groin too. Looks like very bad luck...
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
There are a number of possible explanations for an oral ulcer and enlarged lymph nodes in the neck and HIV is not among them. Herpes, syphilis, a simple canker sore, and a number of viruses other than HIV are more likely possibilities. Syphilis is the greatest concern, not because it's most likely, but because it's dangerous if not properly diagnosed and treated.
PEP guidelines vary mostly on the nature of the exposure and the likelihood a person's partner had HIV. For example, PEP would be recommended after unprotected vaginal sex with a sex worker in South Africa, where HIV is very common in sex workers, but not in most of the US, where most sex workers aren't infected. Most professional societies and health departments do not recommend PEP following condom-protected sex between men, even if one partner had HIV. In any case, after 72 hours PEP isn't pertinent so there's not much point in rethinking it.
See a health care provider and get checked out. You should be seeing one anyway, on account of the HIV exposure. Follow his or her advice about testing and/or treatment for the oral lesion and HIV testing. Your local health department STD clinic would be an excellent choice.
Dr.: One month has benn since the incident and I have:
third week: oral ulcer back down in the tongue for 3 days.and few headaches
Now I can feel some swollen glands in my neck!
Also, you say for PEP I didn't met "most agencies guidelines". So some dodc/guidelines would have recommended PEP in this case?
Thank you, I'm going crazy....
third week: oral ulcer back down in the tongue for 3 days.and few headaches
Now I can feel some swollen glands in my neck!
Also, you say for PEP I didn't met "most agencies guidelines". So some dodc/guidelines would have recommended PEP in this case?
Thank you, I'm going crazy....
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
My comments definitely were not intended to shame you. This isn't exactly unusual behavior among MSM. I'm always glad to hear when a high risk behavior is unusual, i.e. outside the questioner's usual habits. It bodes well, since this incident likely will become a lesson learned.
You don't meet most agencies' guidelines for PEP, but it would have been recommended if no condom had been used. But it's not an issue now, since PEP must be started within 72 hours of exposure.
You don't meet most agencies' guidelines for PEP, but it would have been recommended if no condom had been used. But it's not an issue now, since PEP must be started within 72 hours of exposure.
Thanks Doc. I feel really ashamed, I agree 100% with your comments, one should ask before having sex, no matter the situation, despite using condoms...
Would you have suggested PEP in this case?
By the way: I am male, no oral, and it was anal sex.
Regards, Max.
Would you have suggested PEP in this case?
By the way: I am male, no oral, and it was anal sex.
Regards, Max.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
You don't say directly that you also are male, but I assume you are. Perhaps the most important take-home message here is that you didn't have "the talk" about HIV status before you had sex. A couple days later is too late! But more about that below.
You also don't say the nature of the eposure, but your questions about the rectal mucose suggest you had anal sex, i.e. you bottomed a top with HIV, but a condom was used. If I am wrong and the sex was oral, there was zero risk. Even without a condom, the chance of transmission was extremely low.
Bottoming with HIV positive men is the riskiest of all sexual practice (except perhaps for SM practices that might involve inventional blood exposure). But intact condoms are nearly 100% protection. Saliva rarely carries infectious HIV in significant amounts; in fact, saliva inactivates HIV -- so the use of saliva for lubrication, while not ideal, probably didn't incur any risk.
So all things considered, it would be very surprising if you caught HIV during this event. But since you're nervous, it would make sense for you to be tested. You can expect a negative result.
Now comes the lecture. As I have advised many times on this forum, there simply is no excuse for any man to have sex with another man without first asking about and sharing HIV status, and either avoiding sex or being particularly compulsive about safe sex practices with men who are HIV positive or who don't seem to be giving straightforward answers. You had safe sex, so were not at significant risk -- but think how much better you would feel know if you had asked and avoided sex with this person! And when safer sex is planned, sometimes it gets forgotten in the heat of the moment; and of course condoms do break sometimes. In the long run, "do ask, do tell" is just as important for HIV transmission among MSM as is consistent condom use for anal sex.
So as things turned out, you lucked out with respect to the condom, despiate an apparently poor choice to start. So don't lose a lot of sleep awaiting your test result. But please get in the habit of both "do ask, do tell" as well as consistent condom use. Follow both these strategies, and you'll likely go a lifetime with a rich and rewarding sex life, without HIV; fail either or both of them, and it's a good bet HIV is in your future.
Best wishes-- HHH, MD
You also don't say the nature of the eposure, but your questions about the rectal mucose suggest you had anal sex, i.e. you bottomed a top with HIV, but a condom was used. If I am wrong and the sex was oral, there was zero risk. Even without a condom, the chance of transmission was extremely low.
Bottoming with HIV positive men is the riskiest of all sexual practice (except perhaps for SM practices that might involve inventional blood exposure). But intact condoms are nearly 100% protection. Saliva rarely carries infectious HIV in significant amounts; in fact, saliva inactivates HIV -- so the use of saliva for lubrication, while not ideal, probably didn't incur any risk.
So all things considered, it would be very surprising if you caught HIV during this event. But since you're nervous, it would make sense for you to be tested. You can expect a negative result.
Now comes the lecture. As I have advised many times on this forum, there simply is no excuse for any man to have sex with another man without first asking about and sharing HIV status, and either avoiding sex or being particularly compulsive about safe sex practices with men who are HIV positive or who don't seem to be giving straightforward answers. You had safe sex, so were not at significant risk -- but think how much better you would feel know if you had asked and avoided sex with this person! And when safer sex is planned, sometimes it gets forgotten in the heat of the moment; and of course condoms do break sometimes. In the long run, "do ask, do tell" is just as important for HIV transmission among MSM as is consistent condom use for anal sex.
So as things turned out, you lucked out with respect to the condom, despiate an apparently poor choice to start. So don't lose a lot of sleep awaiting your test result. But please get in the habit of both "do ask, do tell" as well as consistent condom use. Follow both these strategies, and you'll likely go a lifetime with a rich and rewarding sex life, without HIV; fail either or both of them, and it's a good bet HIV is in your future.
Best wishes-- HHH, MD
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