Aa
Confused Married Man.
Thank you for taking the time to answer my question. I am a married man who at times crosses the gender barrier. Obviously, I have much guilt about it but sometimes I can’t help my urges. I have been dealing with this issue since being a teenage and I am now 30 years old with children.
Here’s my situation I’d be very interested in hearing your opinion.
I have just been involved in mutual masturbation sessions for the past 15 years with probably more than 100 men -- most of them I don’t know. At times there might have been semen on my hand from another person and then I touched my penis. I don’t know for sure, but assuming so. There have only been four men I received oral sex from in all these years. One of them being gay, the other three were married. I also was involved with deep French kissing with two of the men (one of them was the gay man). I have NEVER performed oral and would NEVER think about anal. I am really just into mutual masturbating, but am concerned because I don’t know any of these men well.
I have a family and am worried. Do I need testing? And is there need to worry? Can I assume I’m fine?
Your thoughts would be so very much appreciated.
Here’s my situation I’d be very interested in hearing your opinion.
I have just been involved in mutual masturbation sessions for the past 15 years with probably more than 100 men -- most of them I don’t know. At times there might have been semen on my hand from another person and then I touched my penis. I don’t know for sure, but assuming so. There have only been four men I received oral sex from in all these years. One of them being gay, the other three were married. I also was involved with deep French kissing with two of the men (one of them was the gay man). I have NEVER performed oral and would NEVER think about anal. I am really just into mutual masturbating, but am concerned because I don’t know any of these men well.
I have a family and am worried. Do I need testing? And is there need to worry? Can I assume I’m fine?
Your thoughts would be so very much appreciated.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
I'll try to help.
Relax. There is no signficant risk here. Contact of HIV infected secretions with hands or other areas of dry skin is insufficient for transmission. Safe sex for men who have sex with men (whether or not they consider themselves gay) consists primarily of avoiding unprotected anal sex with HIV infected or possibly infected partners. Oral sex carries almost negligible risks and body rubbing and mutual masturbation are risk free. (Hair-splitters might point out some risk if there were cuts with blood exposure. Even there the risk is extremely low and it would have to be a fresh, overtly bleeding cut of some size, like a gash. Not a situation conducive to sex!)
That you feel the need to post the question suggests that testing for HIV would be a good idea. CDC recommends that everybody in the US have an HIV test somewhere along the line, regardless of their known risks--so why not now? My guess is that your anxieties would be relieved to know for sure you aren't infected and have nothing you can transmit to your wife. This does not mean I believe you were in fact at risk or that I think you are infected; I do not.
Best wishes-- HHH, MD
Relax. There is no signficant risk here. Contact of HIV infected secretions with hands or other areas of dry skin is insufficient for transmission. Safe sex for men who have sex with men (whether or not they consider themselves gay) consists primarily of avoiding unprotected anal sex with HIV infected or possibly infected partners. Oral sex carries almost negligible risks and body rubbing and mutual masturbation are risk free. (Hair-splitters might point out some risk if there were cuts with blood exposure. Even there the risk is extremely low and it would have to be a fresh, overtly bleeding cut of some size, like a gash. Not a situation conducive to sex!)
That you feel the need to post the question suggests that testing for HIV would be a good idea. CDC recommends that everybody in the US have an HIV test somewhere along the line, regardless of their known risks--so why not now? My guess is that your anxieties would be relieved to know for sure you aren't infected and have nothing you can transmit to your wife. This does not mean I believe you were in fact at risk or that I think you are infected; I do not.
Best wishes-- HHH, MD
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
I meant to say that kissing also carries no measurable risk of transmission.
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