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Dr. I need your help!
Doctor I am experiencing constant and annoying symptoms and I am scared that I might had exposed my self to HIV. Here are my exposure:
17 weeks ago I was diagnosed with gonorrhea, I have always used condoms for anal sex, I don't perform oral sex, I'm always a top, no condoms ever broke, I do allow my boyfriends to perform oral sex on me without a condom, all my sex partners have claimed to be HIV-, however I caught gonorrhea, which i think it might of been from the unprotected orals. Due to this I have become extremely obsessed with HIV, any symptom I have It makes me feel very anxious and scared.
I was retested at 17 weeks after the exposure and my results came back negative, however a week after I developed severe night sweats and fever for a night, really stuffy nose, weakness, headache, and swollen taste buds in the front and back of my tongue, I also had a severe breakout of canker sores, and all that came at the same time. Now its been 3 weeks after the negative and I still have the cold like symptoms, headache, nauseous, chills, stuffy, and runny nose. Why do these symptoms persist?? Its scaring me doctor. they wont go away.. Could they caused by my anxiety, and depression?
Also I went back with my ex-boyfriend, who claims to be HIV negative, he was tested a month ago. I was stupid enough to perform oral sex on him and allowed him to ejaculate in my mouth. this happened in 3 different occasions. Then I also allowed him to penetrate me with a condom on, and the condom remained intact. and he did not ejaculated. and now I put my self in another risky citation again. This was about 5 or 6 weeks ago, from when I received my 17 week negative from my last exposure.
My fears are keeping me stuck and anxious, and now I'm afraid to get tested because my cold symptoms keep coming back, I'VE HAD THEM NOW FOR ALMOST 4 WEEKS! I need your advice I don't know what to do.
17 weeks ago I was diagnosed with gonorrhea, I have always used condoms for anal sex, I don't perform oral sex, I'm always a top, no condoms ever broke, I do allow my boyfriends to perform oral sex on me without a condom, all my sex partners have claimed to be HIV-, however I caught gonorrhea, which i think it might of been from the unprotected orals. Due to this I have become extremely obsessed with HIV, any symptom I have It makes me feel very anxious and scared.
I was retested at 17 weeks after the exposure and my results came back negative, however a week after I developed severe night sweats and fever for a night, really stuffy nose, weakness, headache, and swollen taste buds in the front and back of my tongue, I also had a severe breakout of canker sores, and all that came at the same time. Now its been 3 weeks after the negative and I still have the cold like symptoms, headache, nauseous, chills, stuffy, and runny nose. Why do these symptoms persist?? Its scaring me doctor. they wont go away.. Could they caused by my anxiety, and depression?
Also I went back with my ex-boyfriend, who claims to be HIV negative, he was tested a month ago. I was stupid enough to perform oral sex on him and allowed him to ejaculate in my mouth. this happened in 3 different occasions. Then I also allowed him to penetrate me with a condom on, and the condom remained intact. and he did not ejaculated. and now I put my self in another risky citation again. This was about 5 or 6 weeks ago, from when I received my 17 week negative from my last exposure.
My fears are keeping me stuck and anxious, and now I'm afraid to get tested because my cold symptoms keep coming back, I'VE HAD THEM NOW FOR ALMOST 4 WEEKS! I need your advice I don't know what to do.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
To mjd83: That your question was pertinent and my reply useful to other forum users was not an invitation to an ongoing dialog. Feel free to start a new thread.
To leo5123: You came to this forum for reassurance. I gave it and can do no more. Accept it or not, I don't care, but don't argue about it. Re-read my original reply. But test all you want, as long as you're paying yourself; just don't go to a public clinic and waste the community's resources.
That's all for this thread.
To leo5123: You came to this forum for reassurance. I gave it and can do no more. Accept it or not, I don't care, but don't argue about it. Re-read my original reply. But test all you want, as long as you're paying yourself; just don't go to a public clinic and waste the community's resources.
That's all for this thread.
My symptoms are still bothering me and making me anxious, should I re-test?
I see your point from a statistical perspective, even if only 10% of infected tell the truth, that is still 10% of exposures that might be avoided just by merely asking. I can definately see where "do ask do tell" is an effective practice and one more barrier against HIV infection even if a minority were to tell the truth. 2 follow up questions and then I promise no more posts on this thread from me (since it isn't mine).
1. I guess my question was more directed towards your personal experience in investigating new HIV infections. Have you had many patients who were infected after a partner lied about their status? or were most of them aware or just didn't ask? ( I realize this question is subjective and dependant on someone else's story)
2. All of the above applies just as equally to non drug-injecting heterosexuals?
over and out.
1. I guess my question was more directed towards your personal experience in investigating new HIV infections. Have you had many patients who were infected after a partner lied about their status? or were most of them aware or just didn't ask? ( I realize this question is subjective and dependant on someone else's story)
2. All of the above applies just as equally to non drug-injecting heterosexuals?
over and out.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
It's a valid question, and has value for all forum users. That sort of thread jump usually isn't a problem.
Of course asking about HIV status isn't foolproof and I never implied that "do ask, do tell" provides 100% protection. People can lie, and a small number of people at high risk might be in the seroconversion window, truly believing they are uninfected when in fact they are highly contagious.
Context also is important. Asking a potential bath house partner who is high on meth, at the height of sexual arousal, is obviously going to be less reliable than discussion over lunch, before the first real date. And everything in between those options.
As a broad generalization, I would guess that for most MSM in most circumstances, the chance of having sex with an HIV infected partner partner is reduced around 90% compared with not asking. Maybe it's really 80%, maybe it's 99%, but you get the idea. If you assume anal sex and the condom breaks, it could be the difference bewteen a 1 in 100 chance of catching HIV and a 1 in 1,000 chance. That's huge.
So it's just a matter of reducing the odds, not providing 100% certainty. But the sexually active gay man who is having new partners with some frequency and who consistently uses condoms AND "do ask, do tell" approach clearly has a substantially lower chance of getting HIV someday than the guy who only relies on condoms.
There's not much data behind these concepts, just a lot of human nature and common sense.
Of course asking about HIV status isn't foolproof and I never implied that "do ask, do tell" provides 100% protection. People can lie, and a small number of people at high risk might be in the seroconversion window, truly believing they are uninfected when in fact they are highly contagious.
Context also is important. Asking a potential bath house partner who is high on meth, at the height of sexual arousal, is obviously going to be less reliable than discussion over lunch, before the first real date. And everything in between those options.
As a broad generalization, I would guess that for most MSM in most circumstances, the chance of having sex with an HIV infected partner partner is reduced around 90% compared with not asking. Maybe it's really 80%, maybe it's 99%, but you get the idea. If you assume anal sex and the condom breaks, it could be the difference bewteen a 1 in 100 chance of catching HIV and a 1 in 1,000 chance. That's huge.
So it's just a matter of reducing the odds, not providing 100% certainty. But the sexually active gay man who is having new partners with some frequency and who consistently uses condoms AND "do ask, do tell" approach clearly has a substantially lower chance of getting HIV someday than the guy who only relies on condoms.
There's not much data behind these concepts, just a lot of human nature and common sense.
HIV specialists seem confident that people who are positive usually tell the truth. I've always found this strange. I would think their would be far more incentive for HIV + people to lie (and get sex) as opposed to tell the truth and probably get passed over. I don't mean to question your expertise on the subject, I'm just curious where your confidence comes from... medical studies done? a lifetime of personal experience with new infections?
Sorry for hijacking your post leo5123, I guess curiosity overwhelmed good manners.
Sorry for hijacking your post leo5123, I guess curiosity overwhelmed good manners.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Good show -- I'm glad you didn't need the lecture. But other MSM forum users do need it, so I tend to throw in "do ask, do tell" whenever I have the chance!
Thanks a lot doctor, and yes I do ask everyone of my partners before having sex with them, we always share our HIV status, which makes me feel a little more comfortable.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Relax. Whatever is causing your symptoms, it isn't HIV. Although gonorrhea is fairly frequently acquired among men who have sex with men by receiving oral sex, the average estimated risk of HIV -- if the oral partner is infected -- is only 1 in 10,000 (equivalent to receiving a ** by infected men once a day for 27 years and maybe never getting infected. Further, it simply is not possible to have HIV with a negative antibody test at 17 weeks. The second exposure might carry more risk, but most people don't lie when asked directly about their HIV status -- so the chance your ex-BF had HIV was low.
Finally, as discussed repeatedly in this forum, your symptoms are absolutely meaningless. They don't sound like HIV, which doesn't cause nasal congestion or runny nose; and even if they were typical for ARS it woudn't mean anything, because the identical symptoms are caused by other things that are much more common than HIV. That the symptoms have continued for 4 weeks says nothing about their cause, except that allergy might be more likely than a viral infection -- but in any case, almost certainly it isn't HIV.
Finally, a comment about your sexual choices. You have decided to pursue a basically safe approach to sex with other men, i.e. condoms for insertive anal sex. Avoiding receptive anal sex signficantly lowers your risk compared to many MSM. However, you don't mention another very important element of safe sex among MSM, which I call "do ask, do tell". You should never have sex with another guy without first asking about HIV status and discussing your own. As I already said, most persons don't lie when asked directly. Avoid sex with the positives and those who don't know or who seem evasive in their answers. After all, condoms do break sometimes; and intentions for safe sex can fall away in the heat of passion.
In summary, you can be sure you haven't caught HIV. But please add "do ask, do tell" to your sexual strategies, if you aren't already doing so. With that, you can expect to go a lifetime without ever catching HIV. Finally, of course see a health care provider if your symptoms persist, to learn the real cause.
Good luck--- HHH, MD
Finally, as discussed repeatedly in this forum, your symptoms are absolutely meaningless. They don't sound like HIV, which doesn't cause nasal congestion or runny nose; and even if they were typical for ARS it woudn't mean anything, because the identical symptoms are caused by other things that are much more common than HIV. That the symptoms have continued for 4 weeks says nothing about their cause, except that allergy might be more likely than a viral infection -- but in any case, almost certainly it isn't HIV.
Finally, a comment about your sexual choices. You have decided to pursue a basically safe approach to sex with other men, i.e. condoms for insertive anal sex. Avoiding receptive anal sex signficantly lowers your risk compared to many MSM. However, you don't mention another very important element of safe sex among MSM, which I call "do ask, do tell". You should never have sex with another guy without first asking about HIV status and discussing your own. As I already said, most persons don't lie when asked directly. Avoid sex with the positives and those who don't know or who seem evasive in their answers. After all, condoms do break sometimes; and intentions for safe sex can fall away in the heat of passion.
In summary, you can be sure you haven't caught HIV. But please add "do ask, do tell" to your sexual strategies, if you aren't already doing so. With that, you can expect to go a lifetime without ever catching HIV. Finally, of course see a health care provider if your symptoms persist, to learn the real cause.
Good luck--- HHH, MD
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