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HIV/STD scare
Hi Doctor!
I am writing to You like all the others with I guess a question that You have answered many times, but my anxieties are killing me..... Here it goes.
I am a married man who 8 months ago became a father to a beautiful daughter. Since she was born my wife almost stopped having intimacy with me, with all the responsibilities around the little baby i don't blame her at all that at the end of the day she doesn't fell like it..... Me myself have a stressful job .... A week ago my family went on a 3 week trip and there´s my problem. Exactly 6 days ago i went to a pay escort, there i had protected oral sex with the condom she provided but for sure intact and applied properly plus protected vaginal sex two times.....I also bout 2 weeks ago shaved my pubic area but i had no lesions, if thats of any relevance to my question. Maybe i would´t have written to You but i made the same mistake today. I went to this escort that apparently been in the business around 30 years so she certainly had a share of clients..... Anyway she had a clean shaved pubic area, gave me oral sex with a condom she provided and rolled on with her mouth bit i don't think there was a contact of my glans with her mouth and then we had sex for about 2 min, protected and thats it. Now I am freaking out.... 1st is the guild and sick feeling in my stomach coz i love my family so much and i never wanna hurt them..... 2nd the scare of HIV/STD.
- Should i be worried after those 2 exposures, the clean shaved my and her´s pubic regions could that pose higher risk?
- Should i get tested, and when is a good time?
- When my wife is back we already talked bout planning a 2nd child, should i abstain from being intimate with her?
- Has there been a case of somebody getting HIV from a protected sex ?
Doctor, i am going to appreciate your answers, help and wise suggestions.
Thank You.
Sincerely , Alex
I am writing to You like all the others with I guess a question that You have answered many times, but my anxieties are killing me..... Here it goes.
I am a married man who 8 months ago became a father to a beautiful daughter. Since she was born my wife almost stopped having intimacy with me, with all the responsibilities around the little baby i don't blame her at all that at the end of the day she doesn't fell like it..... Me myself have a stressful job .... A week ago my family went on a 3 week trip and there´s my problem. Exactly 6 days ago i went to a pay escort, there i had protected oral sex with the condom she provided but for sure intact and applied properly plus protected vaginal sex two times.....I also bout 2 weeks ago shaved my pubic area but i had no lesions, if thats of any relevance to my question. Maybe i would´t have written to You but i made the same mistake today. I went to this escort that apparently been in the business around 30 years so she certainly had a share of clients..... Anyway she had a clean shaved pubic area, gave me oral sex with a condom she provided and rolled on with her mouth bit i don't think there was a contact of my glans with her mouth and then we had sex for about 2 min, protected and thats it. Now I am freaking out.... 1st is the guild and sick feeling in my stomach coz i love my family so much and i never wanna hurt them..... 2nd the scare of HIV/STD.
- Should i be worried after those 2 exposures, the clean shaved my and her´s pubic regions could that pose higher risk?
- Should i get tested, and when is a good time?
- When my wife is back we already talked bout planning a 2nd child, should i abstain from being intimate with her?
- Has there been a case of somebody getting HIV from a protected sex ?
Doctor, i am going to appreciate your answers, help and wise suggestions.
Thank You.
Sincerely , Alex
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Sorry to have emphasized only the oral exposure. The protected vaginal exposure was just that -- protected. In addition to everything else I said, most escorts -- i.e. relatively expensive commercial sex workers -- are free of STDs. That she usually (always?) has her cusomters use condoms is a good sign. It suggests she indeed doesn't have anything and intends to stay that way. After all, CSWs are more at risk of HIV and other STDs from their clients than the other way around.
So from a risk assessment perspective, you do not need testing for HIV or other STDs. If I were in your situation, I would not get tested and I would continue unprotected sex with my wife without fear that I was putting her at risl. Of course you are free get tested if the negative results will help you get past your anxieties.
So from a risk assessment perspective, you do not need testing for HIV or other STDs. If I were in your situation, I would not get tested and I would continue unprotected sex with my wife without fear that I was putting her at risl. Of course you are free get tested if the negative results will help you get past your anxieties.
The fact that i had the protected vaginal sex with both of them doesnt change anything right, no need to test??? I see that You only mention oral to penile exposure! Thank You Dr. for Your answer and i apologize if the content of it was little bit off the line of question.
Sincerely Alex.
Sincerely Alex.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Welcome to the HIV forum.
Nobody ever caught HIV or any other STD by oral to penile exposure with a condom. It doesn't happen because it cannot happen, as long as the condom doesn't overtly rupture in a way you would notice. There is no reason to suppose that shaving the pubic area ahead of time would make any difference. On top of all that, the chance your partner had HIV is extremely low anyway.
You say that of your concerns, "first is the guilt". That really is the only legitimate concern here. You do not need testing, and if you and your wife resume sex together, you will not put her at risk on account of these events.
Finally, this isn't a relationship counseling service. But obviously you're in a difficult time with your marriage. In the absence of sexual intimacy at home, many would feel you should not be feeling as guilty as you do. And although it is nice to hear you and your wife might soon become intimate again, her reason doesn't sound very romantic. There's probably a need for counseling here, ideally for both of you but start it alone if you can't yet get into it with your wife.
But going back to the main point of this forum: don't worry about the STD aspects of these events. There are no possible STD consequences.
Good luck-- HHH, MD
Nobody ever caught HIV or any other STD by oral to penile exposure with a condom. It doesn't happen because it cannot happen, as long as the condom doesn't overtly rupture in a way you would notice. There is no reason to suppose that shaving the pubic area ahead of time would make any difference. On top of all that, the chance your partner had HIV is extremely low anyway.
You say that of your concerns, "first is the guilt". That really is the only legitimate concern here. You do not need testing, and if you and your wife resume sex together, you will not put her at risk on account of these events.
Finally, this isn't a relationship counseling service. But obviously you're in a difficult time with your marriage. In the absence of sexual intimacy at home, many would feel you should not be feeling as guilty as you do. And although it is nice to hear you and your wife might soon become intimate again, her reason doesn't sound very romantic. There's probably a need for counseling here, ideally for both of you but start it alone if you can't yet get into it with your wife.
But going back to the main point of this forum: don't worry about the STD aspects of these events. There are no possible STD consequences.
Good luck-- HHH, MD
You definitely don't have to worry about HIV. You had safe sex regarding HIV transmission.
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