HIV - Prevention Expert Forum
Help please
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This forum is limited to prevention of HIV and to safe sex in general. All questions will be answered by H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D. or Edward W Hook, MD.

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Help please

Hi doc,

I'm kina worried about three experiences that I had in the past 6 months.
One was with a thai female in nyc this past April. She put the condom on me. She gave me oral pleasure, then had intercourse with her on top. She got off of me. the condom seemed to be in tact. She took the condom off, and with lubricant, she jerked me until I came.
The second was with a korean escort a few weeks ago. She also put the condom on me, gave me oral sex, and then rode me. I also had intercourse with her in doggy style. She then took the condom off and also with lubricant jerked me off until I came.
The third was last night. I had another escort. She was a sight for sore eyes. And had pimples everywhere all over her body, and had a red mark on her pubic mound. She gave me a condom, I put it on the wrong way. She then gave me another condom and she put it on me herself. This made me feel like she was trying to be safe. She performed oral sex, and rode me for a while until she got off. Her red mark was creeping me out. I then took the condom off and jerked myself off until I came.
Now I am kind of worried because I touched the condom before I touched my penis. Also I'm not sure if any of the other women did not touch themselves before they touched my penis. Also I'm not sure how protective condoms are. And these were escorts. They have sex with many people. So I'm nervous. I also have a girlfriend and nervous for her sake. What do you think doc? What are my risks?The condoms seemed to be in tact.
Thank you,
Jimmy
239123_tn?1267651214
Welcome to the forum.  Thanks for your question.

Your anxieties about these events are unfounded.  Safe sex isn't complicated, and such details about how condoms are placed, whether someone has acne or another skin condition, and so on are really not an issue.  The fact is that once you decided to have sex with commercial partners, within that context you did it with maximum safety.  You even used condoms for oral sex!  (Most people ignore condoms for oral exposure, since for practical purposes there is no HIV risk and little STD risk from such exposures.)  And condoms are highly effective for vaginal sex as long as they remain intact, i.e. no overt, wide-open breakage. And sexual position has no influence on HIV/STD risk.  (How could it?)  The important thing is that you used condoms and they didn't break.  All the rest is pretty much irrelevant.

Moreover, the vast majority of female sex workers -- especially expensive ones who work by appointment (which is what most people mean by "escort") do not have HIV; and from all you say, your partners apparently were very attentive to sexual safety.

If I were in your situation, I wouldn't get tested for anything and would continue unprotected sex with my wife without fear of infecting her.  Instead of worrying about the consequences of individual exposures of this sort, a smarter approach is for everyone who is not mutually monogamous with a regular partner to have routine HIV/STD testing once a year.  If you haven't been tested in that long, or if you would just like the additional reassurance of negative test results, visit your local public health STD clinic for routine testing.  Based on all you have described, you can definitely expect negative results.

I hope this has helped.  Best wishes--  HHH, MD
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