HIV - Prevention Expert Forum
Hiv scare
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This forum is limited to prevention of HIV and to safe sex in general. All questions will be answered by H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D. or Edward W Hook, MD.

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Hiv scare

So 10 days ago I had unprotected oral and protected vaginal sex with an 18 year old caucasion girl, so I text her friend 10 days later for another go around and she replies that she has died from a meth overdose and that she had aids, the girl looked normal to me and didn't appear to be a meth user, I had an old small cut that has healed near the base of my penis and I shaved 3 days earlier. Question is should I be worried and what were my risks? Or should I even believe the girl? I did check their social sites and didn't see anything about their friend dying or anything? So what you think?
239123_tn?1267651214
Welcome to the forum.  Thanks for your question.

My guess is your partner doesn't in fact have HIV, despite the comment of her "friend".  In the US and Europe, HIV is pretty uncommon in 18 year old heterosexual women, even meth users.  My advice is that you contact your partner directly.  Most people don't lie about HIV status when asked directly; and you may find she is just as nervous about your sexual contact as you are.  After all, on average women are at much higher HIV/STD risk from their male partners than the other way around.

And even if we assume it is true your partner had HIV, you had a low risk exposure.  Condoms work, so the vaginal sex isn't a significant concern.  (And even without a condom, when a woman has HIV, the average transmission risk to her male partner is about once for ever 2,000 episodes of unprotected vaginal sex.)  Oral sex is no risk for practical purposes.  Some experts believe HIV transmission never occurs from mouth to penis, whereas others cite a risk of 1 in 20,000 -- which is equivalent to receiving B-Js by infected partners once daily for 55 years before transmission mgithbe likely.  Finally, a 3 day old healing shaving wound would not increase the risk of HIV in this situation.

So from a risk standpoint, you don't need HIV testing, unless you contact your partner and learn she does indeed have HIV.  On the other hand, all people who are sexually active outside a mutually monogmaous relationship should be tested from time to time (e.g., once a year) for HIV and other common STDs (gonrrhea, chlamydia, syphilis).  So maybe this would be a good time, while it's on your mind.

I hope these comments have been helpful.  Best wishes--  HHH, MD
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