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Licking shaft of penis
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Licking shaft of penis

Dear Dr., after a long time of abstinence I fell back to my previous behaviour and frequented a thai massage. The following happened: Received handjob. Fingered girl. She slided on me naked but no contact genital to genital. She definitely licked my scrotum and licked my shaft. Do not really know if she licked penis head, but definitely not intensively/prolonged and did not put my penis in her mouth! My questions: 1) Does the licking count as oral and am I therefore at risk for HIV? 2) Risks from the other activities? 3) Am I at risk for other STDs? 4) Do I need to test for anything (if yes, when)? 5) Can I responsibly resume sex with my wife? From what I know oral is considered to be a very low risk but "oral" is constituted only by actual fellatio e.g. penis in mouth. Please explain!

Thank you in advance,
Robbie
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Welcome back to the Forum.  I'll address your questions.

1) Does the licking count as oral and am I therefore at risk for HIV?
There is no risk for HIV associated with oral sex, meaning fellatio or cunnilingus.  Having your genitals licked without having your penis inside of your partner's mouth is lower risk still an is not associated with risk for HIV at all.  


2, 3) Risks from the other activities?
No, there has been no change since these questions were addressed for you in the past.  There is no meaningful risk of STD, including HIV from your masturbation of a partner or from a partner rubbing their body over yours.

3) Am I at risk for other STDs?
No, see above.  You have discussed risk of other STDs in the past with both Dr. Handsfield and me an the answer has not changed.  

4) Do I need to test for anything (if yes, when)?
I see no need for testing of any sort

5) Can I responsibly resume sex with my wife?
As with prior questions, I see no reason related to the activities you described to avoid sex with your wife

I hope my comments will be helpful.  EWH
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Dear Dr., I hope you will answer one follow up. There will be no more after that! As expected I fell back to that horrible worry cycle I know so well. Considering that my "exposure" is now 9 days ago and I experience absolutely no symptoms I concluded that my only remaining risk is syphilis (HIV= 0 risk anyway, Gon/Chlam= no contact with urethra + no symptoms= 0 risk, Herpes=no symptoms after 9 days=0 risk). So my mind constantly worries about that rare syphilis possibility. I feel that I am trapped in the window period, e.g. I do not know how to make it another 5 weeks till a test makes sense. On the other hand I figured out that I really could not miss a developing syphilis chancre at my shaft and the probability must be tiny anyway. My concentrated questions:

1) Can you confirm my reasoning that excludes anything except syphilis?

2) Can you give an estimate for acquiring syphilis by licking shaft of penis from a CSW in germany?

3) Can I safely assume that I would recognize a chancre on my penis and without a chancre my wife is not at risk (e.g. I can resume to having sex with her)?

4) From your experience: Do you think I will manage to let it go like this or rather struggle (that would be hard!!) through the next 5 weeks and test? Please advice me!

Thank you,
Robbie
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1) Can you confirm my reasoning that excludes anything except syphilis?
Yes, and the risk for syphilis is virtually non-existent as well.  

2) Can you give an estimate for acquiring syphilis by licking shaft of penis from a CSW in germany?
No research to guide my estimate but I am sure the risk is less than 1 in a million.  

3) Can I safely assume that I would recognize a chancre on my penis and without a chancre my wife is not at risk (e.g. I can resume to having sex with her)?
Correct.

4) From your experience: Do you think I will manage to let it go like this or rather struggle (that would be hard!!) through the next 5 weeks and test? Please advice me!
I think testing, or worrying until you have a negative test is  a waste of time.  you need to figure out how to move forward from here without waiting for weeks for a test that will be negative.  If you cannot do this yourself, I'd suggest that you discuss it with a trained counselor who may be able to help.  EWH
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H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.Blank
University of Washington
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Edward W Hook, MDBlank
University of Alabama at Birmingham
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