HIV - Prevention Expert Forum
Looking for reassurance.
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This forum is limited to prevention of HIV and to safe sex in general. All questions will be answered by H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D. or Edward W Hook, MD.

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Looking for reassurance.

Hi Dr's I appreciate your time and the Forum.

I have a scenario I want to run by you.  

I m a married man who had a brief bisexual encounter.  I believe it was totally safe as I browse the other questions posted in the forums and your responses to them.

The guy I was with masturbated himself while I watched and masturbated myself.  He ejaculated away from me but when he wiped his penis with his fingers it's possible some ejaculate landed on my upper lip.  I quickly removed it with my hand. I m not even 100% sure this is what landed on my lip.

I know this individual and he said he was tested last August and was negative for HIV.

I then had sex with my wife a week or so later, the next day she was had flu like symptoms, swollen lymph nodes, sore throat, and achy.  She was just recovering from a "cold" but it was weird how she regressed with her symptoms the day after we had sex.  From what I've read on here, a day after sex is way to soon for her to have ARS.  

I just wanted to make sure it was still ok to have unprotected sex with my wife and that i don't need testing.  She is also breast feeding our child which adds to my anxiety surrounding the issue..   I realize this is an anxiety driven issue as well and won't place myself in this type of situation in the future.

Thanks for your help with this matter, you both provide a great service as I have used it in the past.
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Welcome to the forum.  Thanks for your confidence in our advice.

You correctly understand the low risk nature of the sexual exposure described.  It seems very unlikely your partner/friend has HIV; but even if he did, there was no risk.  Without insertive sex -- i.e. a penis inside another person's rectum, vagina or (maybe very rarely) mouth, HIV is not sexually transmitted.  The minor exposure of a little semen on your lip carried no measurable risk.

As for your wife's symptoms, they started much too soon to be due to ARS.  If you were infected, you probably would not even be infectious for her onlyl 7 days later; and if you had infected her, it would take 10-20 days before she developed symptoms.  Her symptoms are entirely unrelated to sex with you the previous day (there are virtually no infections of any kind that start to cause symptoms within 24 hours) and certainly are unrelated to your outside sexual exposure.

Of course no distant expert can guarantee someone is free of HIV or other STDs.  But if I somehow found myself in your situation, I would feel no need for testing and I would continue unprotected sex with my wife (even if she were nursing our child) without worry of giving her anything.

I hope this has helped. Best wishes--  HHH, MD
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H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.Blank
University of Washington
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Edward W Hook, MDBlank
University of Alabama at Birmingham
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