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Need some reassurance?
Over 30 years after I stopped dating, I am back at it again after the end of my over 25 year marriage. I have had several encounters over the past two years with several different divorced, white females ages varying from 33 - 54, mostly healthcare professionals, like me. Most of the time I used protection, sometimes I messed up and did not. That is how I discovered this forum and the reassurance that it has offered. I always use protection until I am convinced that it is safe not to.
Here is what I am dealing with currently. I had unprotected vaginal intercourse with my previous girlfriend July 11. She is white, divorced, a RN, early 40's, several children who said that she is negative for HIV. I tested anyway August 23; negative. Started another relationship in with a medical profesional, DWF early 50s, several kids, not promiscious. Before we had unprotected sex for the first time 11/18/11 she assured me that she is HIV negative, had been tested, and had been with no one else since long term boyfriend three months before, who is a internal medicine physician. She tested because the boyfriend had cheated on her with a DWF in her early 50s who is a teacher. I have known both my current girlfriend and her former BF for over 30 years.
Trying to be responsible, and be absolutely sure I was not endangering my new girlfriend from my previous relationship, I was tested again December 20, negative. What is bothering me is that my current girlfriend's negative test (probably antibody) was done in August '11 "about three weeks" after her last unprotected sex with her former boyfriend, who had already been with the "other woman."
She has offered to be tested again, she just has not had time and is not worried about it. In the meantime, can you offer any stats, demographics, etc. that can be applied to this scenario to help with my anxiety? I have lots of friends and relatives who are physicians and they say I worry too much, forget it.
Here is what I am dealing with currently. I had unprotected vaginal intercourse with my previous girlfriend July 11. She is white, divorced, a RN, early 40's, several children who said that she is negative for HIV. I tested anyway August 23; negative. Started another relationship in with a medical profesional, DWF early 50s, several kids, not promiscious. Before we had unprotected sex for the first time 11/18/11 she assured me that she is HIV negative, had been tested, and had been with no one else since long term boyfriend three months before, who is a internal medicine physician. She tested because the boyfriend had cheated on her with a DWF in her early 50s who is a teacher. I have known both my current girlfriend and her former BF for over 30 years.
Trying to be responsible, and be absolutely sure I was not endangering my new girlfriend from my previous relationship, I was tested again December 20, negative. What is bothering me is that my current girlfriend's negative test (probably antibody) was done in August '11 "about three weeks" after her last unprotected sex with her former boyfriend, who had already been with the "other woman."
She has offered to be tested again, she just has not had time and is not worried about it. In the meantime, can you offer any stats, demographics, etc. that can be applied to this scenario to help with my anxiety? I have lots of friends and relatives who are physicians and they say I worry too much, forget it.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
That test combination is conclusive. No further testing is necessary.
Hi Dr.
on the 27th days of post exposure. i have conducted 2 tests separately which are Finger Prick test(2nd generation) & P24 Antigen test(lab test). Both result come out as Negative. Are the result conclusive? If not conclusive, what will be the confidence level of the negative result?
on the 27th days of post exposure. i have conducted 2 tests separately which are Finger Prick test(2nd generation) & P24 Antigen test(lab test). Both result come out as Negative. Are the result conclusive? If not conclusive, what will be the confidence level of the negative result?
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
If anything, the STD risks for most single persons are lower than they were in your youth (and mine); certainly they are no higher. The main changes are media attention, better understanding of some infections (e.g. HPV), and the emergence of HIV/AIDS. The last is the only real change, and as discussed above, it remains rare in most heterosexual settings;
Thank you very much for your quick and reassuring reply. I suppose part of this is just me dealing with being single again. It is big time different out there now! I am going to take your advice.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Welcome to the forum. Thanks for your question; I'll try to help.
Congratulations on a rational and safe approach to your new single life. If your sexual lifestyle and condom use continue as described, you can expect to remain free of HIV and all the important STDs. The occasional lapse is to be expected and usually doesn't mean much risk. Among other things, all STDs are much, much less common in women in their thirties and up than in teens or twenties. And as for your most recent two partners, the chance either has HIV is zero for all practical purposes, assuming they aren't past or current IV drug users, sex workers, etc. Finally, the odds the most recent partner caught HIV in the brief interval you describe are astronomically low.
So my overall reaction is to agree completely with your friends and relatives. In the US and most industrialized countries, heterosexually transmitted HIV remains much rarer than you might assume from the media attention. Heterosexual transmission is a big problem in a few semi-isolated populations, but not in the broad US population.
That said, if it will further ease your mind and your partner really doesn't mind being tested one more time, you can continue to discuss it with her. But I would strongly recommend you not press her on it; this really isn't worth any worry at all and I cannot imagine a repeat test would be positive.
I hope this helps. Best wishes-- HHH, MD
Congratulations on a rational and safe approach to your new single life. If your sexual lifestyle and condom use continue as described, you can expect to remain free of HIV and all the important STDs. The occasional lapse is to be expected and usually doesn't mean much risk. Among other things, all STDs are much, much less common in women in their thirties and up than in teens or twenties. And as for your most recent two partners, the chance either has HIV is zero for all practical purposes, assuming they aren't past or current IV drug users, sex workers, etc. Finally, the odds the most recent partner caught HIV in the brief interval you describe are astronomically low.
So my overall reaction is to agree completely with your friends and relatives. In the US and most industrialized countries, heterosexually transmitted HIV remains much rarer than you might assume from the media attention. Heterosexual transmission is a big problem in a few semi-isolated populations, but not in the broad US population.
That said, if it will further ease your mind and your partner really doesn't mind being tested one more time, you can continue to discuss it with her. But I would strongly recommend you not press her on it; this really isn't worth any worry at all and I cannot imagine a repeat test would be positive.
I hope this helps. Best wishes-- HHH, MD
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