HIV - Prevention Expert Forum
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This forum is limited to prevention of HIV and to safe sex in general. All questions will be answered by H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D. or Edward W Hook, MD.

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Hello Doctors,

Many years ago (5 to be exact) I had intercourse with a female when I was 20 years old. It was unprotected vaginal and oral which 2 wks later I had painful ejaculation and extreme redness on my glans (glands) penis just prior to ejaculation. On the 3rd week I became sick with a mono like illness but lower fever around 100. Also I had white pus pockets not a white covering.

As im sure you are thinking I have been tested several times all neg. at 8 weeks past intercourse I had a Undet. Viral load . I have tested many times over 5 years. I have even taken 2 difference DNA HIV PCR and  through labcorp that were neg the last one was May 30, 2012.

Through these 5 years ever since this illness I have painful posterior lymphnodes and for the past 2 years Prickling and numbness in my toes and feet sometimes in my fingers. After, this time I have now been married and after unprotected intercourse my wife has started having a wide array of GI problems dx as IBS ( bowel movements never formed anymore. Neg for O &P .... I had her take a homeacess HIV test that was neg a few years ago and then last week we both took a Oraquick advance HIV 1/2 that both were Neg.

I know this has been alot, I dont enjoy this the least bit, however; the prickling/electric feeling and achy lymph nodes (pea sized on both us) have keep me thinking HIV could be the culprit and that it just has not shown yet.

Over the years I have been to counseling  and moved on and seen a physician however, it is blown off because I am a heterosexual and only been with 5 woman in my life .

Please offer your expertise and what else I should do.

Thank you for your time.
Welcome to the forum.

First, the odds a partner like yours had HIV is exceedingly low.  Assuming you're in the United States and she wasn't a sex worker or injection drug user or otherwise at special risk, then the likelihood she had HIV probably is under 1 in 100,000.  One-off heterosexual encounters like this probably result in zero new HIV infections each year.

Second, your symptoms are not typical for HIV, which would not cause enlarged or inflamed lymph nodes in only one location like the neck, and at 5 years would never be the only symptom.  And IBS and other GI problems also are not at all suggestive of HIV.

Third and most important, the standard HIV tests are just about the most accurate diagnostic tests ever developed, for any medical problem.  Test results always overrule even the highest risk exposures or the most typical HIV symptoms (neither of which you had).  Your results prove you do not have HIV.  There is no possibility of an exception.

It really isn't normal to remain so obsessed with the possibility of having HIV in the face of such overwhelming evidence from the test results and after the repeated reassurance you undoubtedly have had about it from your doctors.  I have to wonder whether as a result of your upbringing, sexual education, etc you have some unresolved shame or guilt about your distant past sexual experience.  Therefore, in response to "what else I should do", my advice is that you discuss your feelings frankly with your primary care physician, with the expectation that s/he may recommend professional counseling.  If so, I hope you will follow that advice.  I suggest it out of compassion, not criticism.

I hope these commens are helpful.  Best wishes--  HHH, MD
Hello Doc

First off , thank you for taking your time to reply in such detail. I greatly appreciate it.

Next, I didn't include some things due to the length limit. I'm not expecting you to change your mind however, want to say this for completion.

I am from the US , Ohio more specifically . The female I was with after the intercourse occurred said she was with 20 other guys . This is when I was at college. She was 19 at the time .....

More on symptoms:

I also have pea sized nodes one behind my right ear and also one hard pea sized node one the anterior chain.... Pea sized nodes under arms and in groin also however I'm 5'6" 172 so I've heard sometimes they can be felt.

Again, Im not trying to change your thoughts but rather give you the entire scope of what occurred . Your final comments are greatly appreciated .

Best regards
Thanks for the thanks.  I'm glad to have helped.  As you predicted, this additional information doesn't change my opinion or advice.
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H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.Blank
University of Washington
Seattle, WA
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