HIV - Prevention Expert Forum
Oral Sex and HIV/ STD
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This forum is limited to prevention of HIV and to safe sex in general. All questions will be answered by H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D. or Edward W Hook, MD.

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Oral Sex and HIV/ STD

About 48 hours ago I regrettably hooked up with a gay male, I am also male myself but not totally out of the closet yet. I preformed oral sex on him for about 5 to 10 minutes, he did not ejaculate but there was pre-ejaculate. I did not notice any sores on his genitals nor did I notice any pus coming from his penis. He did state before that he did not have HIV or any STD. However he seemed to imply he was relatively promiscuous which is a cause for worry. I know the risk of HIV is very low to almost nonexistent. Do you think my cause of concern is really the quilt I feel for hooking up with someone and not being totally at peace with being gay?
239123_tn?1267651214
Welcome to the forum and thanks for your question.

But you're asking something I really am not prepared to much about.  This isn't an HIV/STD risk question.  You correctly understand the risks are nil, based both on the low chance your partner had HIV or other active STDs (people rarely lie when asked directly) and the nature of the exposure.

What you're asking is my judgment of whether or not your "concern" (anxiety is what I would call it) is influenced more by your conflicts about your sexuality, and by this particular sexual choice, than by the actual HIV risks involved.  Your judgment of that is much better than mine.  I'll just say that whenever someone sugggests his or her own concerns have an emotional origin, usually they do.

In other words, your question itself contains its own answer.  It seems to me you would benefit by talking this through.  You might start with a local gay men's support group, which should be easy to find if you're in a medium to large metropolitan area; or a psychologist or other mental health professional.  Of course I suggest it out of compassion, not criticism.

Best wishes--  HHH, MD
3 Comments
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Thank you so much! My nerves are much calmer now, I will most likely look into a support group or a therapist to settle my internal issues.
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239123_tn?1267651214
You're welcome.  Glad to have helped.
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