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Avatar universal

Please help...need to turn a corner in life

Hi Drs Handsfield and Hook,

I have been to a lot of strip clubs over the last 10 years and spent time with dancers getting lap dances. Sometimes even hours together.

The things I never did in life are 1) Unprotected or Protected Anal/Vaginal/Oral sex other than with my wife. 2) Injection drug use. 3)Never drank Alcohol (not that it is a risk factor)

I had engaged in these activities which I think might be risky. Through all these dances I was clothed mostly and never completely naked except for once the dancer unbuttoned my belt but did not really remove my pants or boxers.

1)Sucking on nipples/breasts. I am not 100% sure if I had tasted any secretions or milk
2)Rubbing on naked vagina
3)I think I might have fingered but i am not really sure if i ever inserted my finger inside.
4)Kissing on the lips (not sure if its deep kissing or not)
5)Also one time a dancer slipped her hand in my pants and tried to give a hand job for a few seconds but I pushed her off after a few seconds. She was dancing for a few minutes and any wetness on her hand would have touched my shirt or something before she touched my penis.

I have had a tooth decay and used to have bleeding while I brushed my teeth before.

I have never been tested just for the fact that I read the risks and think I was not engaging in risky behavior. What worries is me if I was not careful even during my perceived risky exposures. For example, if a pimple on my face came into contact with infected fluid, what I had a cut or small cut somewhere on my body. I have been considering getting tested to turn a corner in life and not look back again. But the bouts of panic and anxiety over the years had made me dread the test and made me into a nervours wreck.

Can you please help me get over my worries? Your 1 or 2 mins will help me change my life. I am really looking forward to turn a corner in my life to get over my worries.

6 Responses
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300980 tn?1194929400
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
I hope that my comments will be helpful.  None of the activities that you describe are associated with any meaningful risk for HIV transmission.  HIV and other STDs are transmitted by sexual contact, not by touching, kissing or transfer of infectious materials on another person's hands or on inanimate objects like clothing, towels or bed sheets.  That you might have dental problems, cuts or sores, or acne and other skin rashes does not change this at all.  Still, zero risk.  My sense from reading your post is that a major part of the discomfort you are expressing relates to your own guilt over these activities.

Despite the absence of risk, I would urge you to go on and get tested.  Testing does not give a person HIV but it does give them the power to know what is going on and whether or not they have the infection.  In your case and based on the information you have provided, I am confident that the test will be negative.  There is no reason to delay or avoid HIV testing.

Finally, just to help with another person’s opinion, please find below a recent statement Dr. Handsfield made as part of a reply to another client.  "STDs are not transmitted by kissing, hand-genital contact, contact with a contaminated environment, or from such fleeting contact like you describe here -- even fleeting contact with the genitals.  Nobody can say the risk is zero from what you describe.  But in 30+ years in the STD business, I have never seen or heard of such transmission occurring.  The people who show up in the clinic with HIV or other STDs always have had intercourse or direct blood exposure, as through shared injection equipment -- we simply see no exceptions."

I hope this is helpful.  Take care.   EWH
Helpful - 2
Avatar universal
No RISK ...No HIV ...Move on .....Enjoy your new year and get out of the bad habits to avoid this kinda worries in future !!
Helpful - 1
300980 tn?1194929400
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Still no risk.  You really need to move on from this.  EWH
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Dr Hook Thanks once again . This will be last follow up. As part of the lap dances I ejaculated inside my pants many a time. There were a few occasions where the stripper would suck on my penis through my pants and underwear or through just pants . There is no risk of exposure through these activities as well right?

Reading through the forum archives and documented modes of transmission, I should know that there is no risk. My mind has been stresses out lately due to other tensions in life and it refuses to accept common sense. Please do me this one last favor and I will sleep on this for the next few days and come back to sanity.
Helpful - 0
300980 tn?1194929400
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
None of what you state changes my opinion.  Still no risk and no need for concnern.  Thus there is no reason realted to the encounters you describe to worry about having unprotected sex with your wife.  

The symptoms you describe are non-specific, irrelevant and may well be due to your anxiety.  EWH
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thanks Dr. Hook

the fact that I did these repeatedly even while married and that though not all strippers have HIV , some seemed to be high on alcohol or drugs does not change anything right ? For the activities I mentioned ?? I need not convince anyone but the activities I mentioned are the only ones. I also was searching for symptoms once I developed rash on chest, I had weight loss once and I have persistent hair loss. I will not come back with follow ups, please let me know based on symptoms and other facts

Also is it okay to. have unprotected sex with wife

please help me I told my wife abt this though not to the full extent and asking for forgiveness

thanks a lot in advance
Helpful - 0

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