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Possible Exposure Back in College
I was young and naive back in college and had unprotected vaginal sex with approximately 6 or 7 girls. Never had any "one night stands" and never any sex with prostitutes. This was all between 9 and 13 years ago.
I've been with my wife now for 5 years and have always been faithful. I've been a healthy person as well, rarely seeing my family doctor unless absolutely necessary.
However, since mid-November I've started to feel "off". It started with what felt like dizziness and brain fog, it would come and go every few weeks. My anxiety started to build around Christmas and panic attacks soon followed. My appetite left me, I was often nauseous and I lost about 5 lbs. I started surfing the internet looking for my symptoms (mistake). Then about 2 weeks ago, I developed what I thought was oral thrush. My tongue was pasty and white and looked raw and my mouth always felt dry. As soon as I read that this was a symptom of HIV infection I started freaking out even more. I convinced myself that I had HIV. I look at my tongue in the mirror at least 50 times a day, I weigh myself all the time. My sleep has suffered, I now have insomnia. I went to see a doctor at a clinic and he didn't think I had thrush, just said my tongue was raw and gave me Nystatin just to appease me. I just can't seem to move beyond this. My nerves are shot, I've been prescribed Clonazepam by my family doctor for anxiety. I'm to the point where I pretty much have myself convinced that I have HIV.
I know the answer is to get an HIV test, which I have yet to build up the courage to do.
I'm from a pretty small town,I've never used IV drugs, never had any homosexual encounters. How big a risk did I put myself at by having unprotected sex with these women that long ago?
I've been with my wife now for 5 years and have always been faithful. I've been a healthy person as well, rarely seeing my family doctor unless absolutely necessary.
However, since mid-November I've started to feel "off". It started with what felt like dizziness and brain fog, it would come and go every few weeks. My anxiety started to build around Christmas and panic attacks soon followed. My appetite left me, I was often nauseous and I lost about 5 lbs. I started surfing the internet looking for my symptoms (mistake). Then about 2 weeks ago, I developed what I thought was oral thrush. My tongue was pasty and white and looked raw and my mouth always felt dry. As soon as I read that this was a symptom of HIV infection I started freaking out even more. I convinced myself that I had HIV. I look at my tongue in the mirror at least 50 times a day, I weigh myself all the time. My sleep has suffered, I now have insomnia. I went to see a doctor at a clinic and he didn't think I had thrush, just said my tongue was raw and gave me Nystatin just to appease me. I just can't seem to move beyond this. My nerves are shot, I've been prescribed Clonazepam by my family doctor for anxiety. I'm to the point where I pretty much have myself convinced that I have HIV.
I know the answer is to get an HIV test, which I have yet to build up the courage to do.
I'm from a pretty small town,I've never used IV drugs, never had any homosexual encounters. How big a risk did I put myself at by having unprotected sex with these women that long ago?
Finally got my test results back yesterday. Negative. What a huge relief. My anxiety and stress just disappeared. Thanks so much to Dr. HHH and all those who responded with encouraging words when I was feeling so anxious and worried. This forum has been so helpful.
Take care all....
Take care all....
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Congratulations! You won't regret taking those steps. I do wish you luck.
HHH, MD
HHH, MD
Well, I finally stepped up and acted like a responsible adult today. I made an appointment with my doctor, and talked frankly about my concerns. I also had an HIV test. My doctor agrees that I'm extremely low risk and physically healthy. He believes my anxiety and stress about this whole thing are the main concerns. I've also made an appointment, as suggested by HHH, with a psychiatrist to discuss my stress , anxiety and compulsions with this.
So, wish me luck, I'll know my results in 1 to 2 weeks.
So, wish me luck, I'll know my results in 1 to 2 weeks.
There's no excuse not to get tested. I concur with Dr HHH and the other posters that your concern is greatly exaggerated. IF you'd had HIV for 9+ years, you very likely would have had a major AIDS-related illness by now. Most of the symptoms you describe seem related to your anxiety.
I'm also guessing that you haven't been honest with your PCP about the source of the anxiety (i.e., irrational HIV fears), otherwise he likely would have run an HIV test before prescribing the Clonazepam.
Check out http://www.hivtest.org for HIV testing sites. It doesn't have a list of EVERY possible testing site, and not every town will have rapid testing available. That said, I tested it using a small town in Montana (Malta, MT), as well as a few others, and was readily able to find testing sites. If RAPID testing (i.e., oral swab or finger stick, results in 20 minutes) is important, check your town and the nearest big city.
Best of luck. Almost certainly you're negative. Let us know how you make out.
I'm also guessing that you haven't been honest with your PCP about the source of the anxiety (i.e., irrational HIV fears), otherwise he likely would have run an HIV test before prescribing the Clonazepam.
Check out http://www.hivtest.org for HIV testing sites. It doesn't have a list of EVERY possible testing site, and not every town will have rapid testing available. That said, I tested it using a small town in Montana (Malta, MT), as well as a few others, and was readily able to find testing sites. If RAPID testing (i.e., oral swab or finger stick, results in 20 minutes) is important, check your town and the nearest big city.
Best of luck. Almost certainly you're negative. Let us know how you make out.
I think the best thing to do is to go and get tested. The unprotected sex you had does not sound particularly risky, and most likely your partners were not infected. In any case, just be aware that many other conditions could cause your symptoms, some of the much more common than HIV, and not necessarily deadly. Get tested and good luck!
My guess is that if you had Aids you would definitely have discovered this long ago.
My answer to you is simple: Just get tested. In 5 days or less your anxiety will be gone once you learn of your negative statis.
My answer to you is simple: Just get tested. In 5 days or less your anxiety will be gone once you learn of your negative statis.
Sorry, I forgot to mention that for the past 2 weeks, I've been having some periodic nightsweats as well. Wet chest and back especially. Our bedroom is kept quite warm, and we have thick flannel sheets. Don't know if this makes a difference or not...
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Your risk of HIV back then probably was zero or close to it. Conceivably one or more of your partners was infected, but the chance is miniscule. And if you had had HIV for 9+ years, probably you would have been sick (and perhaps dead) by now. If your doc didn't think your mouth problem was thrush, it wasn't thrush. Everybody gets white coating of the tongue from time to time, as a normal event from diet, minor viral infections (like a cold), and so on. Anyway, oral yeast infections sometimes occur in healthy people; I had it myself once.
Your only problem is your emotional state. I have no patience for hesitation to get tested because of fear of the results. Just do it. You can be confident of a negative result. You also should discuss your anxiety and probably depression with your provider; you might benefit from professional mental health care. I suggest it out of compassion, not criticism.
No ongoing discussion. You are welcome to return to tell us your test results, but no follow-up comments until then.
Good luck-- HHH, MD
Your only problem is your emotional state. I have no patience for hesitation to get tested because of fear of the results. Just do it. You can be confident of a negative result. You also should discuss your anxiety and probably depression with your provider; you might benefit from professional mental health care. I suggest it out of compassion, not criticism.
No ongoing discussion. You are welcome to return to tell us your test results, but no follow-up comments until then.
Good luck-- HHH, MD
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